Skip Quotes in Planet Terror (2007)

Skip: It's go go, not cry cry.

[first lines]

Skip: Real pretty tonight, Holly.

[two girls are kissing]

Skip: Goddammit, girls - if you're gonna do that shit, do it onstage!

[walks away]

Skip: Smokin' hot. Whew!

Eddie Black: Bum leg?

Skip: [knock knock] No leg.

Eddie Black: I was engaged to a girl once with a wooden leg.

Skip: Yeah? What happened?

Eddie Black: Had to break it off.

Skip: Don't mind her. She's French-Canadian. Some days she's Canadian. Can be quite pleasant. Today she's obviously French.

Skip: What the hell are you doing?

Malcolm Bench: I'm trying to kiss my ass goodbye.

Peter: Can you climb?

Monique: Peter wants to know if I can climb!

Skip: Worst I ever seen. Couldn't climb a ladder.

Peter: You're that good, huh?

Monique: Yes... But it was a very tall ladder.

Skip: How about it Mal? You and Cyril have been up there before.

Malcolm Bench: No. I mean why would we want to leave this place?

Cyril Bench: Luxurious accomodation. Fine cuisine.

Malcolm Bench: Sultry weather. Frostbite's off my dick.

Cyril Bench: I reckon we should wait until they chuck in a ski lift.

Malcolm Bench: Good idea. Imagine coming to the Himalayas and actually having to do some climbing. Especially when you have to complete your autobiography.

Cyril Bench: And rustle up those all important endorsements. You wankers! What's bloody wrong with you?

Cyril Bench, Malcolm Bench: We're in.

Peter: Montgomery Wick. My dad told me about how Wick speed-summited in 24.

Skip: We're not Montgomery Wick. Even if we were, how long does that leave to get through the rock and ice? We don't even know their exact location. How long is that gonna take?

Peter: I won't let Annie die.

Skip: So what are we gonna do?

Skip: I'd rather be home with a fucked-up hand up in some pussy than to be out here healthier than a motherfucker without it... Shit

[Cleon randomly decapitates a dead Vietnamese soldier with his machete]

Skip: Oh man, Cleon what the fuck?

Jose: Oh, did you fucking see that, man!

Skip: Motherfucker, you blew up the whole fucking truck, motherfucker!

Anthony Curtis: Ya'll may think I'm crazy but I just want to do something that's different

Skip: Well, gettin' your fuckin' head blown off is different, HAHA. Hey man, turn that shit down and slow this mother fucker down, ain't nobody in a hurry to get to school!

Skip: My great great great granddaddy was a pimp and a slave. He would have his hoes out in the field picking his cotton for him, he didn't have to do a goddamn thing!

Skip: I was born by the pussy, I'll die by the pussy.

Skip: [at the table, dividing up a huge stack of bills after the big score] Man, one thing I can't figure out. People be out of work everywhere and the government just be throwing money away!

Kirby: That's Uncle Sam for you, son. Money to burn.

[fade out]

Skip: You gotta approach every day as if it's your last!

Skip: Oh, nice socks, man. Nice socks. Nice socks.

Tony: I just wanted Dad to see the stupid trophy.

Kathy Alva: Who gives a shit about Dad?

Skip: Yeah, hey, man, listen. You stood up for your friend. We're proud of you.

Tony: [yelling at the judges] This contest don't mean shit to me anyway!

Skip: Look, man. These kids are at a tender age. They tense easily, okay?

Skip: Yeah, this is Skip Engblom and the Zephyr Skateboard Team. Here's our entry fees. Now where's our trophies?

Skip: Hey, I'm not bailing your asses out of jail.

Montoya: [a crash is heard outside] Oh, shit. Get the gate, get the gate.

Cop: Hey, get back here!

Montoya: Close the door, come on. Quick.

[they close the shop gate]

Cop: Get back here!

Skip: It was supposed to keep them out of trouble, man!

Skip: They wanted it gone, man, they wanted it gone.

Skip: [after Stacy received the Z-boys t-shirt at the diner] You earned it, bro...

Sid: Yeah, you're one of us now!

Jay: That maggot has always been one of us.

Skip: Yeah, wear it with pride, man.

Stacy: You know I will!

Skip: Hey, Stacey, that t-shirt will get you more titty than you ever dreamed of, man!

[laughs]

Kathy Alva: I got my boy covered, Skip.

[laughs]

Skip: [at the diner] Hey you guys made a mess at that contest today... They look at you as the enemy now, right?

Montoya: But it's good to have enemies! A toast!

[everybody raises glasses]

Kathy Alva: A toast!

Montoya: To the boy kings... You're all a bunch of filthy pillow biters!

[Sticks his fork in his glass of water, and splashes the Z-Boys]

Skip: He's not one of us, man. You know, he's not a pirate.

Chino: Going to work, Peralta?

Skip: Yeah, get a haircut, man.

Skip: Yeah, hi. This isn't a library... so it's ten bucks to browse. You got ten bucks?

Customer: Didn't bring any money today.

Skip: Yeah, well, why'd you come into my store, then, asshole?

Skip: Yah man, I mean those boys are gettin' too big for their boots man

Billy Z: Whatever you say, Skip

Skip: Aw man c'mon, don't you get it? Those kids are gettin' offers man

Billy Z: [yells] So why don't you cut 'em in on some of the profits?

Skip: What profits dickhead? This is a surf shop!

Skip: Hey, I'm not bailing your asses out of jail.

Montoya: [a crash is heard outside] Oh, shit. Get the gate, get the gate. Cop: Hey, get back here!

Montoya: Close the door, come on. Quick.

[they close the shop gate]

Skip: It was supposed to keep them out of trouble, man!

Skip: Mary Sue, I think I should go home now.

Jennifer: Why what's wrong?

Skip: I think I might be

[looking down]

Skip: ... ill. Somethings happening to me.

Jennifer: [looking with him] That's supposed to happen.

Skip: It is?

Jennifer: Yeah, trust me.

Skip: [townspeople are burning library books] Mary Sue, it's better this way!

Jennifer: This is the only book I've ever read in my whole life, and you're not going to put it on that fire!

Skip: Hiya, Bud!

David: Hiya, Skip!

Skip: Hiya, Bud!

David: Hiya, Skip!

Skip: Bud, can I ask you a question?

David: Sure.

Skip: Well, if I was to go up to your sister... What I mean is, if I was to go up to Mary Sue...

David: Oh my God... are we in that episode?

Skip: I'll see you at school, Mary Sue.

[Jennifer smiles as Skip drives away]

Jennifer: Who's that?

David: Skip Martin, captain of the basketball team.

Jennifer: Does he like me?

David: As a matter of fact, he does.

[Jennifer's smile turns slightly lecherous]

Skip: I don't know if I ever told you this before, but I think you're just about the keenest girl in the whole school!

Jennifer: Oh, really Skip? The keenest?

Jennifer: You can pin me anytime, Skip. Or maybe I should just pin you.

Skip: [laughs] That's silly, Mary Sue. How could you possibly pin me?

David: What can I get you two?

Skip: Well, Bud, I think I'll have my usual cheeseburger and a Cherry Coke.

Jennifer: Oh, I don't know Bud... I think I'll have a salad and an Evian water...

[Bud gives her a dirty look]

Jennifer: Cheeseburger it is!

Skip: What's the commotion? Where's the cat?

Skip: You guys. You lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Larry!

Larry: Lollygaggers!

Skip: Lollygaggers.

Skip: Don't take this the wrong way Millie, but if I catch you in here again I'll ban you from the ballpark.

Millie: You can't ban me from the ballpark because my daddy donated the scoreboard.

Skip: What do we need a scoreboard for? We haven't scored any runs all season.

Skip: What's our record, Larry?

Larry: Eight and sixteen.

Skip: Eight... and sixteen. How'd we ever win eight?

Larry: It's a miracle.

Skip: It's a miracle. This... is a simple game. You throw the ball. You hit the ball. You catch the ball. You got it?

Crash Davis: You don't want a ballplayer; you want a stable pony.

Skip: Nah.

Crash Davis: Well, my triple-A contract gets bought out so I can hold some flavor-of-the-month's dick in the bus leagues, is that it? Well, fuck this fucking game!

[pause]

Crash Davis: I quit, all right? I fucking quit.

[Crash exits the office and stands in the clubhouse for a minute before sticking his head back through the door]

Crash Davis: Who we play tomorrow?

Skip: Winston-Salem. Batting practice at 11:30.

Skip: Crash Davis? Joe Riggins.

[shakes hands with Crash]

Crash Davis: And you Larry Hockett should remember me, 'cause about five years ago in the Texas League you were pitching for El Paso and I was batting clean-up for Shreveport. You hung an 0 and 2 curve ball in a 3-2 game in the bottom of the 8th and I tattooed it over the Michelin Tire sign and beat you 4-3.

Larry: Yeah, I remember. I should'a thrown a slider. Damn, Crash, nice to see you.

Skip: That son of a bitch got away with everything tha I had. And I was so scared that I shit my pants.

Skip: You son of a bitch, you went back to her even after you knew who she was.

Jonathan: Cut it out!

Skip: I'm gonna kick your fuckin' ass!

Skip: Jonathan, until you get laid none of us are safe!

Skip: Worriest thou not about being banished for ever from the Foxfield school for girls, for yea, thought they are the only females within a 100 miles, there is still a place where thou canst journey to. Chicago, on the nine o'clock bus.

Jonathan: One thing I don't need right now is the world according to Skippy here. Do us both a favour, huh? Just shut up.

Skip: Ok, Mr. Depth. Wallow in it.

Skip: Next time you're feelin' sad and blue, don't expect old Skipper here to put on his big red nose and floppy shoes just pour vous. Adios? Mr Morose.

Jack Eliot: I'm a World Series MVP!

Skip: That was four years ago, Jack.

Trey: You hit .235 Last season.

Jack Eliot: LAST SEASON, I led this team in ninth-inning doubles in the month of August!

[Bones talks to his neighbor Skip who's moving away]

Bones: Think you'll ever come back?

Skip: Know what? Nobody's coming back. It's over with. Gotta get out of here. You gotta get out of here, too.

Bones: Yeah, well, as soon as I get my car fixed, I'll get outta here.

Skip: I don't wanna leave, but I wanna live. Look at this. I had a wonderful childhood. So far, a wonderful life. Just... Just sad what happened. Just sad what happened.

Kit: And don't anyone say "April Fool's" again or I'll rip them apart!

Skip, Arch: Cough-cough-April Fool's!-cough-cough

Skip: [after her car stalls] I thought you said she started every time!

Carol: Every time 'cept now.