Skiff Quotes in Planet 51 (2009)

Skiff: [looks at Chuck who is naked] That's a funny place for his antenna.

Lem: A cork?

Skiff: It's your best defense against the aliens' favorite form of research. The probe. You put it...

[points at his butt]

Lem: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I get it.

Skiff: Oh, wait. This is yours. I already used that one.

Skiff: [looking up at movie poster sign] There it is. Just two more days.

Eckle: Wow. Humaniacs III: The Final Battle for Our World.

Skiff, Eckle: Victory or extinction!

Lem: If you guys go in costume, I'm pretending we never met.

Eckle: Did you just say what I think you just said?

Lem: I'm a planetarium professional now. I don't have time for kids' movies anymore.

Skiff: [gasps] Kids' movies? I suppose next you'll say aliens don't exist!

Lem: Duh!

Skiff: Ha! Just as I thought! You're not Lem. You're an alien zombie, like in Humaniacs II.

Lem: Skiff, I'm not a zombie.

Skiff: Yeah, that's what you zombies are programmed to say. Tell me something the real Lem would know.

Lem: Well, I know Skiff is the only nutcase who thinks the government is hiding all alien evidence in Base 9. And you give candy to your puppy so he'll poop jelly beans.

Eckle: [exclaims in disgust]

Skiff: It was just an experiment.

Eckle: That's our planet after the attack of the Humaniacs. They're gonna eat our brains for dinner!

Lem: Everybody, please, that's ridiculous.

Skiff: Totally ridiculous! Brains for dinner? Come on! Brains are breakfast with cereal and milk. Dinner is organs and eyeballs.

Skiff: I love fake-alien-poop day.

Skiff: [to Captain Baker] If you have to do a number 1, use these papers. If you have to do a number 2, go outside. And, if it's number 3, I can't help you.