Sissy Quotes in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

[Justice and Sissy are engaged in a fist-fight]

Sissy: Your shit is really getting tired, Justice.

Justice: Call me 'Boo-Boo-Kitty-Fuck', bitch.

Sissy: Since you let our patsy slip away, you gotta convince the little kid and the fat guy to take his place. They gotta break into Provasik now.

Justice: Uh-uh.

Sissy: Uh-huh. You'll do it, or you're out of the gang, Justice. Just use the little one's crush on you to convince him, since he's SO fucking in love with you.

Justice: Jay? No, he's not.

Sissy: What am I, blind? He wasn't kissing your hand in the back of the van like he was fucking Lord Byron?

Justice: Well, maybe he just has manners.

[cut to Jay outside, hollering at a woman walking past him]

Jay: Yo, baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

[he turns to Silent Bob, who stares at him in shock]

Jay: Yeeaah...!

Sissy: Shut the fuck up, before I shoot you where you stand in your pansy red booties.

Jay: [Looks down] I *AM* wearing pansy red booties

[Looks at Silent Bob]

Jay: Why the fuck didn't you tell me?

Sissy: Y'know, I don't get you, Justice. You used to be into all this girl stuff. Stealing, boning, blowing shit up, and now you're like this little priss with a conscience. It's really a fucking drag.

Venetia: Oh no, she didn't?

Sissy: Oh yes she did!

Venetia: [commenting on Ling-Ling's hot outfit] Girlfriend's booty be all wrapped up in licious!

Sissy: All wrapped up.

Ling Ling: You're pretty dope and phat yourselves

[afterKeecia's Korean mother calls her daughter Ling-Ling in front of her classmates]

Sissy, Venetia: "Ling-Ling"?

Venetia: Can somebody answer the phone?

Sissy: Oh dang, that's messed up.

Sissy: I don't care, quite frankly! I am tryin' to quit smokin'! And the two of you are gettin' on my nerves!

Sissy: Good Lawd Latrelle. Don't you know better than to sneak up on someone when they're tawkin' to a corpse?

Sissy: [smoking and talking to her dead sister's corpse] Hey. Guess you don't mind if I smoke. It has not been a good day sister. And I blame YOU... You turn on a LIGHT when you go to the bathroom... If you are going to have affairs you have GOT to be more careful! Of course, this is all useless information for you now.

Sissy: [as she looks at a card on the flowers in the church after paying last respects to her sister] "Jesus called, Peggy answered... Awwwwwwwww"

Sissy: Leticia Bustamonte, that sweet little Mexican girl who stocks the shelves, told me TOM-Ed had to reinforce that stool with lugnuts...

Latrelle Williamson: I swawn!

Juanita: Those awful things you said about my Sidney were lies, and I want you to tell everybody they were lies!

Sissy: Sidney is dead, Jo, so let's just forget it, huh?

Joanne: Gee, Juanita, I thought this night was dedicated to remembering those days... that made us all what we are today.

Juanita: Well, you ain't bringin' beer in here.

Sissy: Could you just, um, turn God off for tonight and have yourself a good time?

Juanita: I wonder what made God turn away from me like that.

Sissy: I just think, um, there's so many people in the world nowadays, it's hard for him to give the personal attention that he used to.

Juanita: You do far too much messing around. I'm going to ask my Friday Bible Club to devote a prayer session to you.

Sissy: Why dont you pray for them people in China? They need it a hell of a lot more than I do.

Juanita: We were praying for them, but it didn't seem to do much good. Now we pray for rain.

Carl: This shit ain't over yet, bitch!

Sissy: Oh, but I think it is.

[Steps on Walter's drawing, crushing him]

Sissy: You a real cowboy?

Bud: Well that depends on what you think a real cowboy is?

Sissy: Know how to do 2-step?

Bud: You bet.

Sissy: Wanna prove it?

Bud: Now, you gotta learn something - there are just certain things a girl cain't do.

Sissy: Name one.

Marshall: I can name serval, pissin' on the side of a wall, gettn laid while your pants are still on...

Sissy: Why would you want to?

Sissy: My legs are sweatin', momma.

Sissy: I got a thumb, I got a middle finger!

Sissy: I brought ya some coffee.

Bud: Get me a beer.

Sissy: Bud, if they smell beer on your breath at work -

Bud: JUST GET ME A BEER!

Sissy: Yessir.

Bud: What happened to your face?

Sissy: Got hit.

Bud: [referring to Wes Hightower] He hit you?

Bud: [beat] I am going to KILL that son of a BITCH!

[storms off]

Sissy: Uncle Bob wanted you to be happy. Are you happy?

Bud: Yep, yes I am. You?

Sissy: Yep, I finally got what I wanted. I got a real cowboy.

Bud: And I got what I wanted. I finally got myself a real lady.

Pam: Bud, the family car's waiting.

Bud: The family car's waiting.

Sissy: You mean the Jason of Camp Blood?

Tommy Jarvis: Yes.

Sheriff Garris: No.

Megan: Maybe he was telling the truth. Just because our parents keep telling us that Jason was only a legend doesn't mean it wasn't true. What if he did come back here, looking for the camp counselor that caused him to drown as a boy, searching for the one that decapitated his vengeful mother? And you do know what today's date is, don't you? And I can think of only one thing even more terrifying.

Cort: What?

[Megan points at the school bus of kids]

Cort: Yay, the kids are here.

Bus Monitor: Here they are, and they're all yours.

Sissy: Think I'd rather deal with old Jason.

Sissy: [dealing cards] Let's play another game; it's called "Camp Blood".

Paula: [unenthusiastically] Great.

Sissy: See, each face card represents a counselor. The Queen of Hearts is me. Now which one do you want?

Paula: Sissy, I don't want to play.

Sissy: Okay, you can be the Queen of Diamonds. Now, we take this Jack, which is Jason and shuffle him into these piles which represent cabins. The goal of the game is to find out which cabin Jason is in!

Paula: You guys, I'm getting worried.

Cort: About Jason?

Paula: No, about Darren and Lizbeth. They should've at least called, don't you think? Megan?

Megan: What?

Paula: Hello?

Megan: Yeah.

Sissy: This girl's back in the jail cell with her prisoner of love. Don't be messing with no crazy jailbird, girl. Those dudes are bad news.

Megan: And how do you know?

Sissy: I've been around long enough to see plenty on TV.

Megan: TV?

Sissy: Julie, you just threw a big knife at Kane and almost killed him.

Jamie: Now it's your turn to scream for me you dirty little slut!

[spanks Sissy]

Sissy: Oooooh!