Sir Galahad Quotes in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Sir Galahad Quotes:
Sir Lancelot: [Sir Galahad the Chaste is being seduced by an entire castle full of young women] We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.
King Arthur: Can we come up and have a look?
French Soldier: Of course not. You're English types.
King Arthur: What are you then?
French Soldier: I'm French. Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?
Sir Galahad: What are you doing in England?
French Soldier: Mind your own business.
Tim: There he is!
King Arthur: Where?
King Arthur: What? Behind the rabbit?
Tim: It *is* the rabbit!
King Arthur: You silly sod!
King Arthur: You got us all worked up!
Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh.
Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Sir Galahad: Get stuffed!
Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
Sir Galahad: Oh, yeah?
Sir Robin: You manky Scots git!
Tim: I'm warning you!
Sir Robin: What's he do? Nibble your bum?
Tim: He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!
King Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
Sir Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
Sir Lancelot: Look, my liege!
[trumpets play a fanfare as the camera cuts briefly to the sight of a majestic castle]
King Arthur: [in awe] Camelot!
Sir Galahad: [in awe] Camelot!
Sir Lancelot: [in awe] Camelot!
Patsy: [derisively] It's only a model!
King Arthur: Shh!
King Arthur: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.
French Soldier: Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he will be very keen. Uh, he's already got one, you see.
King Arthur: What?
Sir Galahad: He said they've already got one!
King Arthur: Are you sure he's got one?
French Soldier: Oh yes, it's very nice!
King Arthur: [about the inscription on the rock] What does it say, Brother Maynard?
Brother Maynard: It reads, "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh... "
King Arthur: What?
Brother Maynard: "The Castle of Aaaauuuggghhhh"
Sir Bedevere: What is that?
Brother Maynard: He must have died while carving it.
King Arthur: Oh come on!
Brother Maynard: Well, that's what it says.
King Arthur: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't have bothered to carve 'Aaaauuuggghhhh'. He'd just say it.
Sir Galahad: Maybe he was dictating it.
King Arthur: Oh shut up!
Sir Robin: Well does it say anything else?
Brother Maynard: No, just "Aaaaauuuugggghhh".
[knights making groaning sounds]
Sir Bedevere: Do you think he could have mean, 'Camaaaauuuuggghhhh'?
Sir Galahad: Where's that?
Sir Bedevere: France, I think.
Sir Lancelot: Isn't there a Saint "Aaaaavvvveeeesss" in Cornwall?
King Arthur: No that's Saint "Ives".
Sir Lancelot: Oh, yes. "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"!
[All knights saying, "Iiiiiivvvveeessss"]
Sir Bedevere: Whooooouuuuaaa!
Sir Lancelot: No no no, it's "Aaaaauuuugggghhhh" from the back of the throat.
Sir Bedevere: No I mean, "Whoooouuuuaaa!" as in surprise and alarm.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, you mean like, "AAAHH!"
Sir Bedevere: Yes, that's it. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Sir Galahad: Zoot!
Dingo: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
[He tried to get past her]
Dingo: Where are you going?
Sir Galahad: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
Dingo: Oh, no! Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
Sir Galahad: What is it?
Dingo: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I've just remembered, is Grail shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
Sir Galahad: It's not the real Grail?
Dingo: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a bad person, and she must pay the penalty!
[Turns to camera]
Dingo: Do you think this scene should have been cut? We were so worried when the boys were writing it, but now we're glad! It's better than some of the previous scenes I think.
Left Head: At least ours was better visually.
Dennis: At least ours was committed, it wasn't just a string of pussy jokes.
Bridgekeeper: Get on with it.
Tim: Yes! Get on with it!
Army: Yeah! Get on with it!
Dingo: Oh, I am enjoying this scene!
God: Get on with it!
Sir Galahad: Is there someone else up there we can talk to?
French Soldier: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
Zoot: Welcome, brave sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
Sir Galahad: The Castle Anthrax?
Zoot: Yes... it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice, and we'll attend to your every need.
Sir Galahad: What a strange person.
Sir Galahad: If you're half as brave as you talk, you'll have the courage to unmask!
Bartog, Ulric's Aide: We'll see if YOU have the courage to die!
Bors: Have you been doing battle with the spirits of the Enchanted Forest?
Sir Galahad: [trying to catch his breath] That... that must be it.
Bors: I take it that Merlin has caused you a little trouble.
Sir Galahad: Not half the trouble I'll cause you if you don't take me to King Arthur!
Bors: Your threat is my command.
Ulric - The Saxon King: You dare to challenge Excalibur?
Sir Galahad: I not only dare... I must!
Bors: Whoa. Galahad, I have an uncanny chill coursing up and down my spine. Have you never heard it said that rashness is the father of disaster?
Sir Galahad: True... but too much caution is the blood brother of cowardice.
Bors: Doubtless you think it's an easy matter to find that outlaw camp.
Sir Galahad: One more "doubtless" out of you and I'll *doubtless* crack you right on your thick...
Tavern Wench: What's your pleasure, gentlemen?
Sir Galahad: We had hoped to toast the health of Bartog and Cawker, but they don't seem to be here.
Tavern Wench: How could you, with them in the back room making great plans.
Sir Galahad: Some of those plans concern me. I've been made a captain on account of the attack on Camelot.
Tavern Wench: They were talking of Camelot true enough, when I last took a round of drinks.
Sir Galahad: [placing a coin in her hand] Give them another round. Say it's from two of their most loyal men.
[Bors also takes her hand and gives her another coin]
Tavern Wench: What's the extra one for?
Sir Galahad: That's to leave the door open when you come out. We'd like to hear the good news.
Sir Galahad: Arthur's sword - the true Excalibur - will be at the Ram's Head Inn this noon, but I'll need help to recover it.
Sir Lancelot: No doubt you will, but you've come to the wrong place. Who here will believe you?
Sir Galahad: You will.
Sir Lancelot: I can get you safely beyond the walls. We'll use the secret passageway.
Sir Galahad: Is it guarded?
Sir Lancelot: Certainly - by me!
Sir Galahad: Now there's nothing to stop the Black Knight from rallying the outlaws, joining with Ulric and storming Camelot!
Bors: Except us.
Sir Galahad: Put yourself in The Black Knight's place. Where would you go?
Bors: Home and lie down. I'm tired.
Browse more character quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
Characters on Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
- Sir Lancelot
- Sir Robin
- Sir Bedevere
- Peasant 3
- Peasant 1
- Peasant 2
- French Soldier
- Brother Maynard
- 1st soldier with a keen interest in birds
- Large Man with Dead Body
- The Dead Collector
- King of Swamp Castle
- Knight 1
- Knight 2
- Other Knights
- Sir Bors
- Random Person in the crowd
- Knights of Camelot
- Left Head
- Prince Herbert
- Second Swallow-Savvy Guard
- Leader of The Knights who say NI!
- Other French soldiers
- Roger the Shrubber
- Wedding Guest
- American Narrator
- Voice Director
- Slow-Witted Narrator
- Stupid Narrator
- Japanese Narrator