Sir Charles Lytton Quotes in The Pink Panther (1963)

[Having made her tipsy with champagne, Sir Charles Lytton kisses Princess Dala]

Princess Dala: If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.

Sir Charles Lytton: No. If you were your father, I doubt very much if I would have kissed you.

Simone Clouseau: If I'm not being too nosy your highness, I read somewhere there was some dispute over the ownership of the Pink Panther.

Princess Dala: It belongs to me. It was a gift from my late father. I shall never surrender it.

Sir Charles Lytton: Why should you?

Princess Dala: When the present government seized power, they claimed the diamond was the property of the people. There's even some talk of the international court deciding the issue.

Sir Charles Lytton: I'll tell you what, why don't I steal the diamond, leave that old glove or whatever it is behind, and you and I can split the insurance.

Princess Dala: All right.

George Lytton: I feel like dancing.

[to Princess Dala]

George Lytton: Your Highness?

Princess Dala: I'd love to.

Sir Charles Lytton: [to Simone] How about you, Madame?

Simone Clouseau: Yes, of course.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Your leg is better, Sir. Charles?

Sir Charles Lytton: What?

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I say your leg is better.

Sir Charles Lytton: Oh, yes. Much better. Thank you.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: You know, Mr. Tucker...

[scalds his hand]

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Argh!

[put his burnt hand into Mr. Tucker's beer]

Tucker: That's my beer, old man.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.

Simone Clouseau: How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?

Tucker: Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning's parties.

Sir Charles Lytton: What are we all talking about?

Simone Clouseau: The notorious Phantom.

Princess Dala: I'm afraid I never heard of him.

Sir Charles Lytton: From the little I've read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.

George Lytton: I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah... trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.

Princess Dala: Sounds terribly theatrical.

Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Hi George. Any idea how we get out of here?

George Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] I don't know. I've been all over this place. I've been up this street, up that one, up that one. How are we gonna get out here?

Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Why don't you try the high road up there?

George Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Okay. I'll take the high road, you take the low road. So long, Uncle Charles.

Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed as a gorilla] Ciao, George.

Sir Charles Lytton: [dressed in gorilla suit] Come back. It's me.

Sir Charles Lytton: [meaning the diamond] All right, Darling, where is it?

Claudine: [pretending to misunderstand] After all these years, you still need to ask?

[Chief Inspector Dreyfuss has gone berserk, shooting at Clouseau and Lytton]

Sir Charles Lytton: He's out of ammunition.

Inspector Jacques Clouseau: He's out of his mind, that's what he's out of.

Sir Charles Lytton: There's something about a wife, even with a beard.

Pepi: You're breaking my fingers!

Sir Charles Lytton: Well, why don't you call a policeman?