Simon Templar Quotes in The Saint (1997)
Simon Templar Quotes:
Simon Templar: Do you know what the worst part about being you is?
Ivan Tretiak: What.
Simon Templar: Pretending to be so bad in bed.
Ivan Tretiak: You son of the bitch!
Emma Russell: Who are you?
Simon Templar: Nobody has a clue. Least of all me.
Simon Templar: My name is Buro Houtenfaust. I was named for a Saint who was a very wealthy man. He had the wine, the women, the songs, the whole bit, and then inexplicably, took a vow of poverty and became a hermit. Ran off to live in the forest, in the nude.
Dr. Emma Russell: After all, you are my personal saint.
Simon Templar: You have to be a very good, and usually very dead person to become a saint. And more importantly, you need to work three miracles. Now, get to work.
Ivan Tretiak: What?
Simon Templar: What?
Simon Templar: Don't look down. You know who I am?
Ivan Tretiak: No.
Simon Templar: I'm the thief you tried to cheat.
[Takes a phone]
Simon Templar: And this is your accountant.
[Gives phone to Tretiak]
Simon Templar: Talk to him.
Ivan Tretiak: [Taking phone backwards]
Simon Templar: The phone goes the other way, you moron.
Ivan Tretiak: [Turns phone] Hello, Tretiak speaking. That money to Zurich, send it now. I said now.Yeah.
[Returns phone to Simon]
Simon Templar: Thank you. You know what the hardest part about being you is? Pretending to be so bad in bed.
Ivan Tretiak: You son of the bitch.
Simon Templar: If you think that by giving cold fusion to the world and giving up unimaginable wealth you'll make us happy, you're right.
Dr. Emma Russell: You're not Martin.
Simon Templar: No.
Dr. Emma Russell: What is your name?
Simon Templar: I don't have a name.
Dr. Emma Russell: Sad. Will you have a name when we get home?
Simon Templar: I don't have a home.
Simon Templar: I am Marin Depores. I am from Spain but I am named for a Peruvian Saint, who could cure the sick, or the injured, by the laying of hands.
Simon Templar: My name is Thomas Moore. I was named after a Saint who died for his faith.
Simon Templar: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is August Christopher. I was named for St. Augustan, who coined my favorite phrase, 'Give me chastity and give me constancy, but do not give it yet.'
Frankie: The president's quarters are here... but there are many guards, so I suggest...
Simon Templar: What? An alternate route?
Simon Templar: O' ye of little faith!
Simon Templar: Emma!
Emma Russell: Hi.
Simon Templar: I-I'm overwhelmed. You found me.
Emma Russell: It wasn't very hard.
Penny Parker: [after they're fired out by a villain in their speeding car] It's the first time I ever heard a bullet.
Simon Templar: The one you don't hear is the bad one.
Simon Templar: It's all right. You can slow down to 60 0r 70 now.
Penny Parker: Now I know you're The Saint.
Simon Templar: I was almost a saint two minutes ago.
Simon Templar: Tell me, what part of the states are you from? Sing Sing?
Dugan - Templar's Valet: Nah, San Quentin.
Simon Templar: [Driving into London in their car] You know, this is the first time I've ever seen dawn without a hangover.
Penny Parker: I can't help wishing that man I knocked out had one.
Simon Templar: [Driving away as Penny looks back at the man she's knocked unconscious] Is he still out?
Penny Parker: Cold.
Simon Templar: How are you?
Penny Parker: [as they are in a convertible at night] Cold!
Simon Templar: [Smiling] Well, move over.
[She snuggles against him as they speed away]
Bruno Lang: You know, Templar, if a man lives long enough, he's sure to run up against someone smarter than himself. In some professions he doesn't live much longer than that.
Simon Templar: Your modesty overwhelms me, Mr. Lang.
Simon Templar: [to Penny after she's been rescued] We're glad to have you back, aren't we, Dugan?
Dugan - Templar's Valet: Anything to break the monopoly. That's what I say.
Simon Templar: [about headaches] I have an excellent cure.
Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: Yeah? What's that?
Simon Templar: Stay sober the night before the morning after.
Mr. Evans: How did you get here?
Simon Templar: You'd better ask my horse.
Simon Templar: Are you sure you robbed everybody?
Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: All the new guests - all except Mr. and Mrs. John Harper.
Simon Templar: Who are they? How did you skip them?
Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: They checked out an hour before they got here. He got a telegram he was gonna be a grandfather or somethin'.
Simon Templar: Are you positive?
Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: You see, I figured that anybody who checked out might be the guilty party, so I checked up on who checked out. They was the only ones.
Simon Templar: You think of everything - when you think.
Charlie - Desk Clerk: Oh, how do you do, Mr. Templar? We've been expecting you. So, you're the man they call "The Saint"... the modern Robin Hood!
Simon Templar: Really, I'm a remarkably bad shot with a bow and arrow, and I've never tasted venison in my life.
Simon Templar: [to the arrested murderer] Where would you prefer to be executed? Sing Sing or San Quentin?
Simon Templar: [Reacting to Horace's gun] Put it away, Horace.
[To the reporter]
Simon Templar: You must forgive my friend. He sees the world through crime-colored glasses.
Simon Templar: i'm sorry to arrive uninvited, but this is not a social call.
Pat Holm: What's our program for tomorrow?
Simon Templar: Simple enough - we've got a million pounds in gold.
Pat Holm: Easy - where is it?
Simon Templar: What does your female intuition say?
Pat Holm: Around Baycomb? Smuggler's Cove?
Simon Templar: You're wonderful! How do we get to then, you clever little thing?
Pat Holm: They're supposed to be connected to Baycomb House. Used to be a monastery. What of it?
Simon Templar: Trust these wise old monks to find a back entrance to the brandy somewhere.
Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: I just wish I knew your angle, Saint. Whose side are you on.
Simon Templar: I'm on my own side.
Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: Where does that put me?
Simon Templar: That depends. If you were cleverer than you look, you'll be on my side.
Clarence 'Pearly' Gates: But I never squealed on anyone in my life.
Simon Templar: If you don't start now, you'll never have another chance.
Simon Templar: Rocky is still at his night club.
Inspector Henry Fernack: Now, wait a minute, Simon. Why can't I go to a nightclub? I'll not be party to any rough stuff.
Simon Templar: [Dismissively] You toddle off to bed like a good boy. These denizens of iniquity are no place for a respectable married man. I'll just drift into Rocky's gin palace and see what's going on.
Simon Templar: What have you got there?
[Reading newspaper story]
Simon Templar: New York Police Inspector cries "Foul!" Etc., etc. John Henry Fernack of the Homicide Bureau unable to explain the source of $50,000 found in his safe
[Simon smiles slightly]
Simon Templar: ... so and so forth.
Ruth Summers: Could have said he won it on a horse or roulette or something.
Simon Templar: Fernack is much too honest for that.
Ruth Summers: ...or too stupid.
Simon Templar: Well, let's drink to him anyway. Seems to me he'll need more than that. Maybe he needs a guardian angel.
Ruth Summers: Or a patron saint.
Ruth Summers: What are you going to do?
Simon Templar: That, darling, is the big problem of the moment.
Browse more character quotes from The Saint (1997)