Simon Skinner Quotes in Hot Fuzz (2007)

Simon Skinner: Lock me up.

Nicholas Angel: I'm sorry?

Simon Skinner: I'm a slasher! I must be stopped!

Nicholas Angel: You're a what?

Simon Skinner: A slasher... of prices! I'm Simon Skinner - I run the local supermarché. Drop in and see me sometime - my discounts are *criminal*. Catch me later!

[Angel has knocked out Michael]

Simon Skinner: [on walkie-talkie] Michael, are you there?

Nicholas Angel: [pretending to be Michael] Yarp...

Simon Skinner: Sergeant Angel's been taken care of?

Nicholas Angel: Yarp...

Simon Skinner: He's not going to get back up again?

[Angel thinks for a while]

Nicholas Angel: [hesitantly] Narp?

Simon Skinner: Good. Proceed to the castle.

[while holding a ginger-haired boy hostage]

Simon Skinner: Stop, or the ginger-nut gets it!

[Skinner is explaining why the NWA had Martin Blower murdered]

Simon Skinner: You see, much as I enjoyed your wild theories Sergeant, the truth is far less complex. Blower's fate was simply the result of his being... an appalling actor.

NWA Members: [echoing in agreement] Appalling.

Nicholas Angel: You murdered him for that?

Simon Skinner: He murdered Bill Shakespeare.

Nicholas Angel: What? Oh.

Annette Roper: Martin Blower was less concerned with the reputation of the village than he was with his sordid affair with Eve Draper!

Nicholas Angel: So Eve deserved to die too?

Dr. Robin Hatcher: Well, she did have a very annoying laugh.

NWA Members: [echoing in agreement] Annoying.

Nicholas Angel: George Merchant?

Simon Skinner: He had in awful house.

NWA Members: [echoing in agreement] Awful.

[indicating the CCTV footage that will act as his alibi]

Simon Skinner: [smiling] Feel free to spool through!

[Skinner pulls a pose identical to the one in a photo on the wall behind him]

Simon Skinner: My, my, here come the Fuzz.

Simon Skinner, Nicholas Angel: SWAN!

Simon Skinner: I'm afraid my nickname of 'Sissy' is a revelation only to yourself. My teenage years studying ballet are well known.

DS Andy Wainwright: Yeah, Sissy Skinner. What a gaylord!

Simon Skinner: Thank you, Andrew.

[Mr. Skinner has tripped and landed with his chin impaled on a miniature church spire at the model village]

Simon Skinner: Ow! Thish really hurtsh... I'm gonna need shome ice-creeeem.

Simon Skinner: I'm a slasher, I must be stopped.