Simmons Quotes in Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Simmons: Years from now they're going to ask us: where were you when they took over the planet? We're gonna say: we stood by and watched.

Simmons: Don't worry, I speak their language.

[doorman opens sliding hatch]

Simmons: Do svidaniya.

Russian Bouncer: That means goodbye!

[closes hatch]

Simmons: We've go to beak this case down. What we have here, is an astronaut epidemic.

[Points to different photos in turn]

Simmons: MIA, dead, died in a car accident, killed, DOA, car death... it's like these guys can't drive, they can fly into outer space but they can't drive a car.

Simmons: Excuse me, excuse me, It doesn't make sense! Can't we get any eyes in there at all?

Charlotte Mearing: They keep shooting down our drones.

General Morshower: They want us blind. But we do have a couple of mini-drones we're going to try.

Simmons: Well, whoever's manning these UAV drones, can we try to redirect them toward Trump Tower? The kid, Witwicky, was on his way to Chicago. Said some point man, human op is there, for the Decepticons! Listen, if I know anything I know this: that kid is an alien bad news magnet!

Simmons: [about Carly] She lives here? Wow!

[to Dutch]

Simmons: You had your chance to frisk her.

Dutch: I have a girlfriend.

Simmons: Really, what's her name?

Dutch: India...

Simmons: Tell Megatron, "Let's tango."

Simmons: [Wants to impress the Russians with a Russian phrase] Dutch, give me something tough.

Dutch: Eh.

[browses dictionary in panic]

Dutch: Baryshnikov.

Cosmonaut Dimitri: We do speak English.

Simmons: Dutch, you suck.

Dutch: It's a Cyrillic alphabet. It's like all the buttons you never push on a calculator! I don't suck.

Simmons: Nothing like driving in a Maybach, huh? Germans know how to make cars, let me tell you.

Simmons: I don't think this is about the Decepticons looking for something... I think it's something they wanted to hide.

Simmons: Well, well, well. Charlotte Mearing.

Charlotte Mearing: Agent Simmons. Former Agent Simmons. So I see you survived Washington.

Simmons: Washington, Egypt, heartbreak. I survive. I will survive.

James Bond: [over intercom to Goldfinger, who has been cheating at cards] Now hear this, Goldfinger. Your luck has just changed. I doubt very much that the Miami Beach Police would take kindly to what you're doing. Nod your head if you agree... Nod...

[Goldfinger nods]

James Bond: Good. Now, start losing, Goldfinger. Shall we say ten thousand dollars? No, let's be generous. Let's make it fifteen thousand.

[Goldfinger hesitates, then throws a card on the table]

Simmons: Well, I can see this is really my day!

[puts his cards on the table]

Simmons: Gin!

Jill Masterson: May I see?

[looks through binoculars. She sees Goldfinger snap his pencil in disgust]

James Bond: [over intercom] Over and out.

[switches intercom off, then to Jill]

James Bond: That should keep him occupied for quite some time.

Jill Masterson: I'm beginning to like you, Mr. Bond.

James Bond: Oh... call me James.

Jill Masterson: More than anyone I've ever met in a long time... James.

James Bond: Well, what are we going to do about it?

Jill Masterson: Yes, what?

James Bond: I'll tell you at dinner.

Jill Masterson: Where?

James Bond: Oh, I know the best place in town.

[they kiss]

Auric Goldfinger: Good morning, Mr. Simmons. Ready for our little game?

Simmons: Sure I'm ready. When you're ten grand in the hole, you're ready for anything.

Spanky Leonard: [Shortly after Spanky & Marshall Valiant go to a card playing room, for Spanky to complete his shoe shining mission, that he just started. Just as Spanky starts to continue his shoe-shining hobby that he had just started, Simmons dropped a Poker card, on purpose, to cheat] You dropped this card, mister.

Simmons: That's not my card.

Spanky Leonard: Oh, yes sir, I saw you drop it.

Simmons: Oh, this will be a feather, in my hat, when the general learns, in my first encounter, I was victorious.

Simmons: You little river rat. I'll teach you not to interfere with me.

[Simmons sees a paintbrush, in Spanky's hand and it appears as if Spanky was about to try paint on his shoe! Therefore forcing Spanky and Buckwheat to dive off the ship, in fear of Simmons]

[repeated line]

Simmons: You won't be needing that

Simmons: [when told he's fired] I don't WORK for YOU... I WORK for the BUILDING