Short Bartender Quotes in Desperado (1995)

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Short Bartender Quotes:

  • Short Bartender: [from behind the counter] What do you want?

    Buscemi: Beer.

    Short Bartender: All I got is piss-warm Chango.

    Buscemi: That's my brand. Oh, this is damn good! Say, this is the best beer I've ever had. Actually...

    Short Bartender: [ignoring him] You need anything over there?

    Buscemi: I'm just glad to be alive right now. I was up a few towns away- you know Saragosa? I was visiting a bar there, not unlike this one. They serve beer, not quite as good as this, but close. And I saw something you wouldn't believe. I'm sitting there, see, small table all by myself. Now this bar, it's full of real low-lives. I mean, not like this place here. No, I mean bad. Like they were up to no good, know what I'm sayin'? Anyway, I'm all by myself, I like it that way. Meanwhile, things are going on... under the table kinds of things. Not too obvious, but, not too secret, either. So, I'm sitting there, and in walks the biggest Mexican I have ever seen. Big as shit. Just walks right in like he owns the place. Now, nobody knew quite what to make of him, or quite what to think. There he was and in he walked. He was dark, too. I don't mean dark-skinned. No, this was different. It was as if he was always walking in a shadow. I mean every step he took towards the light, just when you thought his face was about to be revealed, it wasn't. It was as if the lights dimmed, just for him.

  • Short Bartender: [nervous, from behind the counter] Is there something in the guitar case?

    El Mariachi: Yeah.

    Short Bartender: What?

    El Mariachi: My guitar.

  • Short Bartender: [from behind the counter] ¡Matalo!

    [kill him]

    El Mariachi: Not yet.

  • [telling a story]

    Buscemi: [sitting at the counter inside the Tarasco Bar] The stranger shot him, walked over to the bartender, paid, and left.

    Short Bartender: So the bartender lived?

    [laughing]

    Short Bartender: The bartender never gets killed!

    Buscemi: But as the stranger neared the door...

    [Bartender pulls a shotgun. Stranger shoots bartender]

    Buscemi: No man, bartender got it worse than anybody.

  • [Talking about his bar]

    Short Bartender: Bad beer, bad service. Don't people know not to come in here?

  • Tourist Girl: And, your beer tastes like piss.

    Short Bartender: [from behind the counter] We know.

    Tavo: [hunched over the counter inside the Tarasco Bar] 'Cause we piss in it!

    Short Bartender: That's not all!

  • Buscemi: [testing his patience and if he wanted to hear more of the story] Can I get a cleaner mug? This one's dirty.

    Short Bartender: Fuck you man! That's the cleanest one I got!

  • Tavo: [in Spanish] How much in dollars?

    Short Bartender: [in Spanish; counts] 18,000.

    Tavo: [in Spanish] Fuck. Should we pay him or kill him? More for us...

    Short Bartender: [from behind the counter] I have a house payment.

    TavoShort Bartender: [in Spanish] Kill 'em.

  • Buscemi: [sitting at the counter inside the Tarasco Bar] So, anyway, without warning, without any hint or preview, the stranger whips around, and he sees... me.

    Short Bartender: You saw his face?

    Buscemi: His face? No. His eyes.

Browse more character quotes from Desperado (1995)

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