Sheriff McCoy Quotes in The Apple Dumpling Gang (1975)

Townsman: [Dusty and Donovan are in the middle of their bar room brawl] What happened with them two?

Sheriff McCoy: They got married.

Sheriff McCoy: You're rear end's on fire, Theodore.

Theodore: Oh. Thank you.

[Jumps and frantically slaps fire out; glares at Amos]

Theodore: Why didn't you tell me my rear end was on fire?

Amos: Well, you said not to do anything to attract attention.

Sheriff McCoy: Dusty's a fine specimen of womanhood! I seen her get caught in a cloudburst once, and I wanna to tell you!

Sheriff McCoy: You two couldn't steal candy from a baby without coming out on the short end.

Sheriff McCoy: That's two bits.

Barbershop Customer: But I've only got half a shave!

Sheriff McCoy: A whole shave's four bits. Now git before I fine you for loitering.

John Wintle: I'm leaving for San Francisco tonight.

Sheriff McCoy: San Francisco's loss is Quake City's gain.