Sheridan Whiteside Quotes in The Man Who Came to Dinner (1942)

Sheridan Whiteside: [opening a box of candy] Ah, pecan butternut fudge!

Nurse Preen: Oh, my, you mustn't eat candy, Mr. Whiteside, it's very bad for you.

Sheridan Whiteside: My great aunt Jennifer ate a whole box of candy every day of her life. She lived to be 102 and when she'd been dead three days she looked better than you do *now!*

Sheridan Whiteside: Strange? She's right out of The Hound of the Baskervilles.

Sheridan Whiteside: Is there a man in the world who suffers as I do from the gross inadequacies of the human race?

Sheridan Whiteside: And now, will you all now leave quietly, or must I ask Miss Cutler to pass among you with a baseball bat?

Sheridan Whiteside: Go in and read the life of Florence Nightingale and learn how unfitted you are for your chosen profession.

Sheridan Whiteside: This ageing debutante, Mr. Jefferson, I retain in my employ only because she is the sole support of her two-headed brother!

Sheridan Whiteside: I simply will not sit down to dinner with midwestern barbarians, I think too highly of my digestive system.

Maggie Cutler: Harry Clarke is one of your oldest friends.

Sheridan Whiteside: My stomach is an older one.

Maggie Cutler: And Mrs. Stanley is president of the women's club.

Sheridan Whiteside: I wouldn't care if she was the whole cabinet.

Sheridan Whiteside: Banjo, my lad, you're wonderful. I may write a book about you.

Banjo: Don't bother, I can't read!

Sheridan Whiteside: Get your fish-hooks off me!

Sheridan Whiteside: I suppose you've written the great American novel.

Bertram H. 'Bert' Jefferson: No, I've written the great American play.

Sheridan Whiteside: Well I don't want to read it.

Nurse Preen: Mr. Whiteside, I can only be in one place at a time.

Sheridan Whiteside: That's very fortunate for this community.

Sheridan Whiteside: How long can you stay?

Banjo: Just long enough to take a bath.

Sheridan Whiteside: I shall require the exclusive use of this room, as well as that drafty sewer you call the library. I want no one to come in or out while I am in this room.

Mrs. Ernest Stanley: But we have to go up those steps to get to our rooms, Mr. Whiteside.

Sheridan Whiteside: Isn't there a back entrance?

Mrs. Ernest Stanley: Well, Yes...

Sheridan Whiteside: Then use that. Let me see, there will be a great many incoming and outgoing calls, so please do not use the telephone.

Richard Stanley: I had to go to three different stores.

Sheridan Whiteside: How did you travel? By ox cart?

Sheridan Whiteside: Suppose your parents are unhappy with you. It's good for them. It develops character.

Sheridan Whiteside: We are not amused.