Sheldon Flender Quotes in Bullets Over Broadway (1994)

Sheldon Flender: You, you, you're all missing the point, the point is I can give pleasure many times a day!

Rita: Oh, now, really Flender, what does quantity got to do with it?

Sheldon Flender: Quantity, quantity affects quality!

David Shayne: Says who?

Sheldon Flender: Karl Marx!

Rita: Oh, so now we're talking economics.

Sheldon Flender: Sex is economics!

Sheldon Flender: [bragging] I have never had a play produced. That's right. And I've written one play a year for the past twenty years.

David Shayne: Yes, but that's because you're a genius. And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent. Means you're a genius.

Sheldon Flender: Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?

David Shayne: I've become involved with Helen Sinclair, and I feel terrible. But I can't help myself. She's so charismatic, and she's brilliant and beautiful. I mean, a real artist, and, and we speak the same language.

Sheldon Flender: You're wracked with guilt.

David Shayne: I'm wracked with guilt.

Sheldon Flender: You're wracked with guilt. You are wracked with guilt.

David Shayne: I don't know whether... I can't sleep.

Sheldon Flender: Guilt is petit-bourgeois crap. An artist creates his own moral universe.

David Shayne: I know that. I know...

Sheldon Flender: Well? What is the problem then? I'm gonna give you some advice. The same advice that was given to me many years ago when I had a very similar dilemma.

David Shayne: Similar to mine. To...

Sheldon Flender: Yes. Yes.

David Shayne: What did you do? What?

Sheldon Flender: You gotta do what you gotta do.

Sheldon Flender: Hey, look who's here. The big Broadway success. I don't write hits. My plays are art. They're written specifically to go unproduced.