Shareholder Quotes in Mr. Deeds (2002)

Longfellow Deeds: You, sir. What did you want to be when you grew up?

Shareholder: I wanted to be veterinarian.

Longfellow Deeds: Cool. Why did you want to do that?

Shareholder: I wanted to help sick animals.

Longfellow Deeds: And what do you do now?

Shareholder: I own a chain of slaughterhouses.

Longfellow Deeds: Kind of went the other way on that one.

Longfellow Deeds: Anyone else?

Shareholder: I wanted to be a magician!

Longfellow Deeds: What do you do now?

Shareholder: I operate a pornographic website.

Longfellow Deeds: I guess that makes people happy too, in a much grosser way.

Longfellow Deeds: I bet if we ran into the sixth grade version of ourselves, they'd give us wet willies and put bubble gum in our hair for even thinking about doing this.

Shareholder: He's right! I would've beaten my greedy ass red!

Shareholder: I would've thrown myself off the merry-go-round.

Shareholder: I would've duct tape myself naked to a chair and burnt myself with lit cigarettes.

Longfellow Deeds: Did anyone dream of becoming a psychiatrist? Just kidding.