Shapiro Quotes in Hatchet (2006)

Shapiro: Have you ever heard of Bayou Beavers?

Shapiro: They probably got stuck just like we did and had to walk the whole way home. Right now they're probably sitting in a Denny's or something.

Marcus: Moons Over My Hammy, yo.

Shapiro: Have you ever heard of Bayou Beavers?

Jim Permatteo: [enthusiastically] Sure!

Shannon Permatteo: [disgusted] Certainly not!

Jim Permatteo: [realizing his wife is sitting right next to him] I mean, no.

Misty: [on hearing the legend of Victor Crowley from a local] Do you believe that story she told us?

Shapiro: Absolutely not. The people around here sleep exclusively with their own family.

Misty: Eww!

Shapiro: Tell me this is part of the tour.

Shawn: Oh, yeah - I sink the boat every night. It's hillarious.

[last lines]

Duke: [referring to Sefton's safe escape with Dunbar] Whadda ya know? The crud did it.

Shapiro: I'd like to know what made him do it.

Animal: Maybe he just wanted to steal our wire cutters. You ever think of that?

Shapiro: I'm tellin' ya, Animal, these Nazis ain't kosher.

Animal: Ya can say that again!

Shapiro: I'm tellin' ya, Animal, these Nazis ain't kosher!

Animal: I said ya can say it again, that doesn't mean ya hafta repeat it!

Shapiro: Hey Schultz, sprechen Sie Deutsches?

Sgt. Schulz: Ja?

Shapiro: Then droppen Sie dead!

Hoffy: They ought to be under the barbed wire soon.

Shapiro: Looks good outside.

Animal: I hope they hit the Danube before dawn.

Price: They've got a good chance. The longest night of the year.

Duke: I'll bet they make it to Friedrichshaven.

Animal: I bet they make it all the way to Switzerland.

Sefton: And I bet they don't get out of the forest.

Duke: Now what kind of crack is that?

Sefton: No crack. Two packs of cigarettes say they don't get out of the forest.

Hoffy: That's enough, Sefton. Crawl back in your sack.

Shapiro: He'd make book on his own mother getting hit by a truck.

Sefton: Anybody call?

[Shapiro received 7 letters at mail call]

Animal: What do all those broads say?

Shapiro: What do they always say?

Animal: Lemme read one.

Shapiro: It's not good for you, Animal.

Animal: Hey, this is with a typewriter... it's from a finance company.

Shapiro: So it's from the finance company. So, it's better than no letter at all. So they want the third payment on the Plymouth.

[dropping each letter on the floor in turn]

Shapiro: So they want the fourth... the fifth... the sixth... the seventh... So they want the Plymouth.

Animal: Sugar Lips Shapiro. Amazing, ain't it?

Price: Must you two always be last?

Animal: Oh, yeah? You try jumping in those trenches first. Everybody jumps in on top of you.

Shapiro: How do you think I got my hernia?

[coughs]

Duke: Come on, Trader Horn, let's hear it. What'd you give the krauts for that egg?

Sefton: 45 cigarettes. Price has gone up.

Duke: They wouldn't be the cigarettes you took us for last night?

Sefton: What was I gonna do with them? I only smoke cigars.

Duke: Niiice guy. The krauts shoot Manfredi and Johnson last night, and today he's out trading with them.

Sefton: Look. This may be my last hot breakfast on account of they're going to take that stove out of here, so would you let me eat it in peace?

Animal: Now ain't that too bad? Tomorrow you'll have to suck a raw egg.

Shapiro: Oh, he don't have to worry. He can always trade the krauts for a six-burner gas range. Maybe a deep freeze, too.

Sefton: What's the beef, boys? So I'm trading. Everybody here is trading. So maybe I trade a little sharper. That make me a collaborator?

Duke: A lot sharper, Sefton. I'd like to have some of that loot you got in those footlockers.

Sefton: Oh you would, would you? Listen, stupe. The first week I was in this joint, somebody stole my Red Cross package, my blanket, and my left shoe. Well, since then I've wised up. This ain't no Salvation Army - this is everybody for himself, dog eat dog.

Shapiro: Tea is being served on the veranda. Animal, where are the napkins?

[Animal puts down some napkins as Dunbar and Bagradian approach the table]

Bagradian: [Imitating Ronald Colman talking to his real-life wife, Benita Hume] Do be seated, Benita. Hwah, hwah, what a perfectly charming table arrangement. They must have copied the pattern from "House Beautiful."