Shang Quotes in Mulan (1998)

The Emperor of China: The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.

Shang: Sir?

The Emperor of China: You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty.

Grandmother Fa: Great. She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should've brought home a man.

Shang: Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here?

[Grandmother and Mother dumbly point to the garden]

Shang: Thank you.

Grandmother Fa: Whoo! Sign me up for the next war.

Mulan: Shang!

Shang: Mulan?

Mulan: The Huns are alive! They're in the city!

Shang: You don't belong here, Mulan. Go home.

Mulan: Shang, I saw them in the mountains. You have to believe me!

Shang: Why should I?

Mulan: Why else would I come back? You said you'd trust Ping. Why is Mulan any different?

Shang: Let me see your conscription notice.

[Reads it]

Shang: Fa Zhou? The Fa Zhou?

Chi Fu: I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.

Mulan: Well, he doesn't talk about me much.

[Tries to spit, but ends up with a glop of spit hanging from her lip]

Chi Fu: I can see why. The boy is an absolute lunatic.

Shang: Ping, you are the craziest man I've ever met, and for that I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust.

Ling: Let's hear it for Ping, the bravest of us all!

Yao: You're king of the mountain!

Shang: [nervously struggling to tell Mulan he loves her] Um... You... You fight good.

[a disbelieving look crosses Shang's face]

Mulan: [disappointed] Oh. Thank you.

Shang: [singing] Let's get down to business to defeat the Huns./Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons?/You're the saddest bunch I've ever met,/But you can bet, before we're through/Mister, I'll make a man out of you.

Shang: I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp.

Mulan: Sorry...

Mulan: [in her 'man' voice] Uhh... I mean, uh, sorry you had to see that, but you know how it is when you get those, uh, manly urges, and you just gotta kill somethin'... fix things, uh, cook outdoors...

Shang: A life for a life. My debt is repaid.

Shang: [as Yao starts to climb the pole to retrieve Shang's arrow] One moment. You seem to be missing something.

[Chi Fu comes forward with two bronze disks, which Shang hangs on Yao's wrists]

Shang: This - represents discipline... and this - represents strength.

[Yao collapses, as everyone else snickers]

Shang: You need both to reach the arrow.

Shang: What's your name?

Mulan: Uh... I, I, uh...

Chi Fu: Your commanding officer just asked you a question.

Mulan: Uh, I've got a name. Ha! And it's a boy's name, too.

Mushu: [whispering in Mulan's ear] Ling. How 'bout Ling?

Mulan: [looking toward Ling] His name is Ling.

Shang: I didn't ask for *his* name. I asked for *yours!*

Mushu: Try, uh, uh, ah, Chu.

Mulan: Ah Chu.

Shang: Ah Chu?

Mushu: Gesundheit.

Mushu: [chuckles] I kill myself.

Mulan: Mushu...

Shang: Mushu?

Mulan: No!

Shang: Then what is it?

Mushu: Ping! Ping was my best friend growin' up.

Mulan: It's Ping.

Shang: Ping?

Mushu: Of course, Ping did steal my girl...

[Mulan muffles him]

Mulan: Yes, my name is Ping.

Shang: Captain Li Shang. Hm. Leader of China's finest troops. No, the greatest troops of all time.

[exits his tent to find the troops fighting each other; we see one soldier with a black eye salute Shang, then promptly faint]

Chi Fu: Most impressive.

Shang: Soldiers!

[all assemble into line]

Shang: You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. Anyone who acts otherwise, will answer to me.

Yao: Ooh, tough guy!

Shang: Okay, gentlemen, thanks to your new friend Ping, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice. And tomorrow, the *real* work begins.

[all the soldiers grumble]

Mushu: [to Mulan] You know, we'll have to work on your people skills.

Chorus: Be a man!

Shang: We must be swift as the coursing river!

Chorus: Be a man!

Shang: With all the force of a great typhoon!

Chorus: Be a man!

Shang: With all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon!

Shang: [Runs at the soldiers] Bastards!

Jackie O'Hara: So... Teddy fuckin' Timmons, huh? I heard you were back.

Teddy: Yeah.

Jackie O'Hara: You don't call me!

Teddy: Well, no, you see, Jackie, I-I just got back...

Jackie O'Hara: -What are you boys drinkin'? Hey, Shang, get a round in here will you?

Shang: [calls out] Sure, Jack.

Jackie O'Hara: Fuckin' Celtics, huh?

Teddy: I-I-I g-guess you've been hearin' stories about me, huh, Jackie?

Jackie O'Hara: I heard you was back was all.

Teddy: Well, let me tell ya. This is fuckin' hilarious, you're gunna piss your pants. Remember that Perez, that fuckin' spic from Dorchester? Remember him?

Jackie O'Hara: What, the little guy?

Teddy: R-remember you sent me and Gavin down to talk to him? Gavvy, you remember that?

Gavin: [nods] Sure, I remember that.

Teddy: So about a month ago these F.B.I. guys come to talk to me in the joint. And, I don't even talk to regular cops, ever, you know? Like when they came to me after I got busted for all that coke... And they said 'Jackie O' and I said 'I know the guy, but I don't work for anyone'.

Jackie O'Hara: Hey, thanks for that by the way.

Teddy: That's no problem, Jackie. So, these F.B.I. guys want to know about Perez 'cause they're building a case against him, right? You're going to love this. I say, 'You mean Junior Perez of Columbia Avenue in Dorchester, about five-two, got a fat-assed girlfriend that looks like a fuckin' pitbull?' They said yeah, and I said 'No, never heard of the guy'.

[everyone laughs]

Teddy: Right? So now they roll up their sleeves. They're not going nowhere. And I sit there for three hours, fuckin' sweatin', shakin'. I almost start cryin'. It's like fuckin' Academy Award time. Finally I break down. And you know, I tell 'em the truth. I-I'm like George fuckin' Washington, I cannot tell a lie. 'I know Perez, and I used to work for him.'. I-I give 'em Perez, that fat fuckin' Columbian prick Menendez, locations, everything. And then they come back to me, and they want me to testify. It's like Witness Protection bullshit, and i'm like, 'Fuck you. I'm not going into any Witness Protection bullshit fuckin' plan. Fuck that! We made a deal!'. So now this lawyer they gave me is all over 'em. I'm not even safe in the joint with the witness protection and shit, and they got no choice! They gotta let me go.

Jackie O'Hara: [pause, everyone looks at each other] Fuck! Can you believe that? Fuck!

Teddy: Yeah, I tell ya it was a fuckin' nightmare. Never trust those Feds, man, they fuckin' lie. I'm lucky to be here.

Jackie O'Hara: Yeah, fuckin' Feds. Cocksuckers, huh?

Red: Pricks.

Jackie O'Hara: They're in Boston looking for Puerto Ricans. In Washington they're stealing us blind!

Red: Absolutely right.

Jackie O'Hara: Hey, here's to Teddy.

[raises glass]

Jackie O'Hara: Welcome home!

[all toasting, shouting]

Jackie O'Hara: When the cops gonna learn, huh? This town don't talk. Especially this kid right here.

[points and playfully slaps Seamus]

Jackie O'Hara: A fuckin' chatterbox, the gift of gab, huh?

[everyone laughs]

Jackie O'Hara: Hey guys I gotta go. Katy's mother's cookin' dinner. Anyone got any rolaids?

[laughing]

Teddy: Hey, hey, Jackie, uh, we're cool, right?

Jackie O'Hara: Sure, sure, hey. Give me a call on the weekend. We got some work.