Sergeant Hulka Quotes in Stripes (1981)

Psycho: The name's Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you.

Leon: Ooooooh.

Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you.

Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

Sergeant Hulka: Okay, Mr. Push-ups, let's hear your story.

John Winger: Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual. But now I know why I have always lost women to guys like you. I mean, it's not just the uniform. It's the stories that you tell. So much fun and imagination.

[points to the soldier next to him]

John Winger: Lee Harvey, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow. I want to party with you, cowboy. If the two of us together, forget it. I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I'm gonna volunteer my leadership to this platoon. An army without leaders is like a foot without a big toe. And Sergeant Hulka isn't always gonna be here to be that big toe for us. I think that we owe a big round of applause to our newest, bestest buddy, and big toe... Sergeant Hulka.

[the soldiers start clapping]

Sergeant Hulka: Well, okay, hotshot. We're gonna see what kind of soldier you are.

Sergeant Hulka: Soldier, I've noticed that you're always last.

John Winger: I'm pacing myself, Sergeant.

Sergeant Hulka: Men, welcome to the United States Army. I'm Sergeant Hulka. I'm your drill sergeant. Before we proceed any further, we gotta get something straight. Your mamas are not here to take care of you now. It's just you, me, and Uncle Sam. And before I leave you, you're gonna find out that me and Uncle Sam are one in the same.

John Winger: Uncle Hulka?

Cruiser: I joined the army 'cause my father and my brother were in the army. I thought I'd better join before I got drafted.

Sergeant Hulka: Son, there ain't no draft no more.

Cruiser: There was one?

Sergeant Hulka: You better hit those bunks my little babies, or Sergeant Hulka with the "big toe" is gonna see how far he can stick it up your ass.

Sergeant Hulka: We got a full day ahead of us. We're gonna start out with a five-mile run.

[Soldiers groan]

John Winger: I know that I'm speaking for the entire platoon when I say this run should be postponed until this platoon is better rested.

Sergeant Hulka: Well, I'll tell you what, soldier. Let's make it ten miles.

Sergeant Hulka: You don't say "sir" to me, I'm a sergeant, I work for a living.

Soldiers: Yes, sergeant!

Sergeant Hulka: I didn't hear you!

Soldiers: *Yes, sergeant*!

Sergeant Hulka: *That's* what I wanna hear.

John Winger: Do you think this guy's over-doing it a bit?

Sergeant Hulka: I'm getting too old for this shit.

Sergeant Hulka: When I tell you move, you'll move fast. When I tell you to jump, you're gonna say, "How high?" And make no mistake. I don't care where you come from, I don't care what color you are, I don't care how smart you are, I don't care how dumb you are, 'cause I'm gonna teach every last one of you how to eat, sleep, walk, talk, shoot, shit like a United States soldier. Understand?

Cruiser: Yes, sir.

Sergeant Hulka: Now, since nobody else has got the guts...

[turns to John]

Sergeant Hulka: ...to admit it, the rest of this platoon... will do the next two weekends on KP.

[soldiers groan]

Sergeant Hulka: How's that sound to you, mister?

John Winger: I think it sucks.

Sergeant Hulka: I'm talking about something important, like discipline and duty and honor and courage. And you ain't got none of it!

John Winger: Those words mean so much to a man who scrubs garbage cans. Look, if you don't want me in your Army, kick me out, but get off my back.