Sergeant Quotes in Hot Fuzz (2007)

[after being told they are reassigning him to a nice village he originally planned for retirement]

Nicholas Angel: I don't know what to say.

Metropolitan Police Inspector: Yes.

Sergeant: Yes, thank you.

Sergeant: Hello Nicholas.

Nicholas Angel: Hello Sergeant.

Sergeant: How's the hand?

Nicholas Angel: Still a bit stiff.

Sergeant: It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did.

Nicholas Angel: I prefer to think my office is out on the street.

Sergeant: Indeed you do! Your arrest record is four hundred percent higher than any other officer, which is why it's high time that such... skills... were put to better use. We're making you sergeant.

Nicholas Angel: I see.

Sergeant: [mumbles]

Nicholas Angel: In where, sorry?

Sergeant: In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

Nicholas Angel: But that's in the country...

Sergeant: Yes! Lovely!

Nicholas Angel: Isn't there a sergeant's position here in London?

Sergeant: Oh, no.

Nicholas Angel: Can I remain here as a PC?

Sergeant: No.

Nicholas Angel: Do I have any choice in this?

Sergeant: No!

Nicholas Angel: Sergeant, I kinda like it here.

Sergeant: Well, you've always wanted a transfer to the country.

Nicholas Angel: In twenty years or so, yes.

Sergeant: Well done you.

Cali: What's your name?

Sergeant: Shh.

Cali: You're good with guns. I'm guessing you're either a cop or a criminal, huh?

Sergeant: And I'm guessing you're either a pain in my ass or a pain in my ass.

Sergeant: look at me , look at me ,look at me ,look at me , look at my face , Do you remember me ? look at my face , Do you know what you took from me ? You took my boy , You took my boy , You took my fucking boy , you took my son , you killed my son , you son of bitch . I'm so sorry .

Warren Grass: Look at me , look at my face , did you see him when you hit him ? Did you see him? tell me what he looks like ? tell me what he looked like ? tell me what he looks like ? tell me you saw his face , tell me you saw his face ,you're gonna pay for what you did to me , for what you did to my boy . I'm so sorry for what i did .

Ethan Renner: [about the squatters in his apartment] What exactly then am I supposed to do?

Sergeant: Wait for spring. Like the birds, the bees, the girls and the boys.

Ethan Renner: Did you really just say that to me?

Colonel Tim Brown: Last night, the enemy hit our Special Forces camp here at Plei Me.

Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: How many casualties did we sustain?

Colonel Tim Brown: None. The enemy forces withdrew here towards this mountain, Chu Pong, that sits right on the Cambodian border. How many men do you have battle ready at your disposal give or take?

Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: [to Plumley] Sergeant Major?

Sergeant Major Basil Plumley: 395 sir... exactly.

Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: [to Colonel Brown] What do you estimate the enemy strength is?

Sergeant: We appraise their numbers as manageable.

Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: [grim tone] You mean... you have no idea?

Colonel Tim Brown: No, sir. We have no idea. But we have our orders. Simple orders from High Command: find the enemy and kill him. Nothing more.

[the SWAT team escorting Barnes reaches the moving sidewalk on the Annex Skywalk]

Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: [on the phone with Trudeau] We're in the Annex Skywalk. I can see the array. I'll give you a call for protocol tests as soon as it's hot. That's all for now.

[hangs up; we hear Barnes give an instruction to the SWAT team's sergeant. At the other end of the sidewalk, we see Sheldon set down his roller and start to reach for his gun]

Sergeant: Right, sir. You've got it.

[At the end of the sidewalk, O'Reilly presses the stop button that shuts down the walkway. All six of the men nearly lose their balance; he then turns his back to them]

Sergeant: What the hell's going on?

[to the worker at the end of the sidewalk]

Sergeant: Hey! Put that back on!

[as they continue along the walkway, Mulkey and Shockley start to reach for their weapons]

Sergeant: Hey, asshole! Whadda I look like to you?

[O'Reilly turns around, holding a Glock 17 in his left hand]

O'Reilly: A sitting duck!

[He shoots the Sergeant in the head, killing him instantly; he then dives for cover as the other officers return fire; McClane hears the gunfire from inside the ventilation shaft]

John McClane: Shit!

[He draws his Beretta 92FS and checks the slide]

John McClane: Damnit! I hate it when I'm right!

[He continues crawling along at a much faster speed]

[the SWAT team is serving as Barnes's escort to the Skywalk]

Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: This kind of thing wasn't in my job description.

Sergeant: Don't worry, Mr. Barnes. We'll watch your back.

Chief Engineer Leslie Barnes: Yeah? Who watches yours?

Sergeant: Now where did a fool like you find such an appetizing string of jewels?

Brom: Interesting you should ask.

Sergeant: [Unsheathing sword and pointing it at Brom's throat] Is that right?

Brom: I was walking up the lane the other day admiring them sitting on the branch. Clap o' thunder, they fell off, dead at me feet. So I thought, 'oh, well can't leave them there. Someone might trip.' So I hung 'em up there ou' of the way.

Sergeant: You know what I think?

Brom: What's that?

Sergeant: I think your a theif.

Brom: [Looking hurt] Ooh.

Sergeant: A poacher.

Brom: Oh ,no

Sergeant: I confiscate them all in the name of the king!

[Kicks out bucket Brom is sitting on]

[last lines]

[Torrey and Sergeant, in car, outside church]

Sergeant: Nothing changes, only the names.

Detective Lt. Lou Torrey: You gotta be kidding. We're chest deep in water. Screaming against the rushing tide.

[Vescari goes into confessional in church, having organized murder of other Dons]

Don Alberto Vescari: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I haven't been to confession for ten days... I lose my temper

[in car]

Detective Lt. Lou Torrey: You know, last three weeks, in New York City alone, there were 159 homicides?

[in confessional]

Don Alberto Vescari: I don't mean to be harsh, but I struck my son in anger last Tuesday.

Detective Lt. Lou Torrey: 3,000 criminal assaults, 6,000 robberies.

Don Alberto Vescari: Ruth, my wife, bless her, I swore at her.

Detective Lt. Lou Torrey: You multiply that by Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Los Angeles.

Don Alberto Vescari: For these, and all the other sins which I cannot remember, forgive me.

Detective Lt. Lou Torrey: You remember that cartoon of an old Roman Circus, where all the lions are roaring, and the page boy yells down the corridor...

[to camera]

Detective Lt. Lou Torrey: You've got five minutes, Christians.

Sergeant: [Seeing General Hawkes speaking to the men on the flight line while smoking a cigar, whispering to Holland] Sir, that cigar. Doesn't the general know that the aircraft might explode?

Lt. Col. Robert 'Dutch' Holland: It wouldn't dare.

Sergeant: [about the second present Andy opens ] It's... it's bedsheets!

Mr. Potato Head: Who invited that kid?

Sergeant: [he can't see what Andy is holding up] It's a...

Rex: It's A WHAT? WHAT IS IIIITTTTT?

[Rex shakes the table, inadvertently knocking off the TalkBoy and causing the batteries to fall out]

Rex: Oh, no!

Mr. Potato Head: Oh, ya big lizard! Now we'll never know what it is!

Hamm: Way to go, Rex!

[moves forward]

Woody: [as the toys struggle to put the batteries back in the TalkBoy] No, no, turn 'em around! Turn 'em around!

Hamm: He's putting them in backward!

[to Mr. Potato Head]

Hamm: Hey, you're putting 'em in backwards!

Woody: PLUS IS POSITIVE! MINUS IS NEGATIVE! Oh, let me!

[jumps down]

Sergeant: [downstairs, into the Baby Monitor] Red alert! Red alert! Andy is coming upstairs!

[Woody puts the batteries back in properly and picks the Talkboy up]

Sergeant: ...juvenile intrusion, repeat! Assume your positions now!

Woody: ANDY'S COMING! Everybody back to your places! Hurry!

[mayhem breaks out]

Mr. Potato Head: [in a panic] Where's my ear? Who's seen my ear? Did you see my ear?

Minesweeper soldier: [after Andy's mom has stepped on one of the soldiers, they get up and make their way to a plant, but the stepped-on one struggles and is crippled] Just... just go on without me!

Sergeant: [goes over to him and helps him up] A good soldier never leaves a man behind!

Sergeant: Molly's first present is... Mrs. Potato Head! Repeat, a Mrs. Potato Head!

Hamm: Way to go, Ida-ho!

Mr. Potato Head: Gee, I'd better shave!

[pulls off his moustache]

Sergeant: [He and the Other Green Soldiers leap out of the bucket onto Woody] There he is men! Get him!

Mr. Potato Head: Let's string him up by his Pull String!

[He and the other toys, apart from Slinky and Bo Peep rush on over toy Woody, and attempt to throw him out]

Bo Peep: Will you boys stop it?

Andy: Ok Mum, I'll be right down. I've just gotta get Buzz!

[All the toys return to their places as Andy enters his room, looking for Buzz]

Andy: Mum have you seen Buzz?

Andy's Mom: He should be right in your room, where you left him?

[Mr. Potato Head looks grimly from behind Etch, having drawn a hangman noose]

Andy's Mom: Andy, I'm heading out the door!

Andy: Mum, I can't find him!

Andy's Mom: Well honey, just take some other toy. Now, come on!

Andy: [Picks up Woody and heads to the Car] OK.

Woody: Sergeant, establish a recon post downstairs. Code Red. You know what to do.

Sergeant: Yes, sir!

[jumps down]

Sergeant: All right, men, you heard him! Code Red, repeat: we're at Code Red! Recon plan Charlie: Execute! Let's move, move, move, move, move!

Sergeant: [Three of Andy's army men are preparing to jump out the window with parachutes] We've done our duty. Andy's grown up.

Army Man 1: Let's face it. When the trash bags come out, we army guys are the first to go.

Buzz Lightyear: Trash bags?

Woody: Who said anything about trash bags?

Sergeant: It has been an honor serving with you. Good luck, folks.

Army Man 2: You're gonna need it!

[they jump out]

Sergeant: Where'd you come from?

Father Benedict: The good Lord has delivered us, but we could do with a ride, Sergeant.

Sergeant: I'm not Jesus Christ, but I'll give it my best shot.

Sergeant: [with heavy French accent] Name of the fugitive?

Mabel: [struggling to understand] Fyoog tiv?

Sergeant: [frustrated] Fugitive! F - U...

Mabel: Up yours, too, Froggy!... Oh! *Fugitive!* His name's Fredric - without a 'k.' And he's got a horse - I mean a nurse, her name's Ruth and... listen, why don't you just follow me to the castle?

Sergeant: Gentlemen you are the fliers of the FUTURE!

[Tailfeather and Toughwood crash into each other]

Sergeant: [Holds face] The FAR future!

Chief Inspector Hesseltine: From the look of those skidmarks, something must have forced him over. Did you get anything out of the witnesses?

Sergeant: Yes sir. Exactly the same story from all of them. Two motorcyclists jabbing at his tyre with a knife.

Chief Inspector Hesseltine: Any identification?

Sergeant: Yeah, The Living Dead again.

Sergeant: We've gone through Dog Canyon, right?

McIntosh: That's right.

Sergeant: Then you're expecting 'em to jump us, ain't ya?

McIntosh: Could happen.

Sergeant: You're not fooling me, McIntosh, it's supposed to happen. Then Lieutenant DeBuin, he's supposed to just ride up and save us when we're down to our last bullet, ain't that right?

McIntosh: Something like that.

Sergeant: Hmm. Something like that. You're putting a hell of a lot of trust in a man who can't tell an inside curve from a three-legged horse.

McIntosh: These horses they're after... you keep 'em tucked away safe. And if the worse comes to it - shoot them.

Sergeant: Shoot them?

McIntosh: Shoot them!

Sergeant: The army don't take very kindly to sergeants shooting their horses.

McIntosh: Maybe so, but they'll take it a lot less kindly then seven Apache bucks riding 'em off.

Captain Langley: Sergeant!

Sergeant: Yes, sir?

Captain Langley: Have them drive that wagon in back of the arsenal. Keep a guard posted on it until it is unloaded.

Sergeant: Yes, sir!

Butler: Something precious?

Captain Langley: Muskets and powder.

[observes Cynthia's arrival with her Aunt Agatha]

Captain Langley: But there's something really precious!

Butler: She appears to be already well-guarded.

Captain Langley: The chaperone may need relief.

Sergeant: Where did ya learn to shoot York?

Alvin: Well I ain't never *learned* Sergeant! Folks back home used to say I could shoot a rifle before I was *weaned*, but they was exaggeratin' some.

[everybody laughs]

Tom: Hey, Sarge, where yug goin'?

Sergeant: I got my first three day liberty, Tommy. I'm goin' to losAngeles.

Tom: You got a date?

Sergeant: No.

Tom: You call this number when you get there.

Sergeant: I don't like blind dates!

Tom: She'll be sober when you get there. Give 'er a ring.

Sergeant: What's she like?

Tom: Out of this world!

Sergeant: Out of this world, huh?

Tom: Well, L.A. city limits... how much farther can you get?

Sergeant: What's she look like - an umbrella?

Tom: Are you kiddin'? She's a beauty! Big brown eyes like saucers, and when she smiles, she flashes the most beautiful set of teeth you ever saw and what a build! The girl has a figure out of the world. When you see this gir'ls figure... Now I've seen a lotta figures. Now I know what I'm talkin' about! She's got the most... wait aa minute. I'll get my hat. I'll go with yuh.

Sergeant: I do not know what this world is coming to. See that man over there. We arrested him for mopery.

Booger: What's mopery?

Sergeant: Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person. I am sorry about your window, fellas, but that's out of our jurisdiction. This sounds more like a fraternity prank. But there's only one organization that can handle such matters.

Gibert: What is that?

Sergeant: [disdainfully] The Greek Council.

Sergeant: They come in force with stealthy stride. Our obvious course is now to hide!

Sergeant: We observe too great a stress / On the risks which on us press / And of reference a lack / To our chance of coming back! / Still, perhaps it would be wise/Not to carp or criticize / For it's very evident / These attentions are well meant...

Sergeant: If they kill more Russians, they win. If we kill more Frenchmen, we win.

Boris Grushenko: What do we win?

Sergeant: Imagine your loved ones conquered by Napoleon and forced to live under French rule. Do you want them to eat that rich food and those heavy sauces?

Soldiers: No...!

Sergeant: Do you want them to have soufflé every meal and croissant?

Sergeant: And now we're going to see a little hygiene play.

Woman hygiene class: Goodbye. I hope you had a good time!

Soldier: Oh yes, I had a good time. Oh, what's this sore on my lip. I'd better get that checked. Doctor, I have this sore on my lip.

Doctor: You have a social disease! If you don't treat it you'll go blind! Or insane!

[Thunderous applause]

Sergeant: Have a good furlough everyone, and look after yourselves!

Sergeant: Any female trouble?

Capt. Henri Rochard: Nothing but, Sergeant.

Sergeant: What is "prostitute"?

Private: A whore.

Sergeant: How dare you speak to her like that.

Vassilassa: No, "whore's" good, "whore's" good.

Hawkeye: [pointing to tracks] Many horses come this way.

Sergeant: Them are our tracks! Damn you, Hawkeye, you done got us lost again!

Sergeant: Indians, sir!

Brig. Gen. George: My God, we're in luck. We will make our stand here, Sergeant!

Sergeant: Yes sir!

Brig. Gen. George: Circle the wagons!

Sergeant: We ain't got enough, sir.

Brig. Gen. George: Well, then make a half moon!

Sergeant: Put your gun down!

Max: Get back put your hands down! Look,I gotta go!

Sergeant: Put down the gun!

Max: Stop moving! Stop moving. When did this become a negotiation?

[Max makes the sergeant cuff himself to the crashed cab]

Max: Clap your hands together. Hold your hands together. Listen, somebody's gonna get killed if I don't go right now. Now cuff yourself. I'm going to Sixth and Fig. Call the cops.

Sergeant: I'm sorry. I lost my head, Inspector.

Insp. Raoul Leduc: Well, find it. You'll need your head if we're going to discover who committed this murder.

Sergeant: Well, why would anyone want to kill a decent man like Dan Percy?

Insp. Raoul Leduc: Perhaps the murderer didn't stop to ask if he was decent.

[first lines]

Pvt. Gardner: [seeing body bags] Oh, man. Is that what I think it is?

Sergeant: All right, you cheese-dicks, welcome to the Nam. Follow me!

[Waxer pretends to be homosexual to avoid being drafted]

Sergeant: Are you a homosexual?

Waxer: Well, I guess I am. I wrote it down, "Homosexual Tendencies: Yes." Yes.

Sergeant: Well, you're just gonna love it in the United States Army. There's lots of men there. And they get real close in foxholes and tanks, and in combat. Get him out of here and process him in the Marine Corps.

Waxer: If you send me to Vietnam, I'll just die.

Sergeant: You know the difference between "investment" and "commitment"? Take a plate of ham and eggs. The chicken... that's investment. The pig... that is commitment.

Ray Angelo, alias Ray Ferraro: You won't need that gun.

Sergeant: Yeah, I've heard that before, too. That's why I'm a sergeant instead of a captain.

Sergeant: [at various points in film, shouting out of police car] Keep moving!

Sergeant: Remember you're the electricity man for the whole nation.

[Major Towns has proposed a fool-hardy plan of attack]

Sergeant: The Major is in a hurry to get buried on a Montana mountain.

Sergeant: You must be a tame Indian.

Yellowstone Kelly: I wouldn't count on that.