Secundus Quotes in Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)
[waitress hands Secundus the bill after he has eaten the entire breakfast menu]
Secundus: What's this?
First Waitress: The bill.
Secundus: Did I order this?
First Waitress: Everybody gets one.
Secundus: I see.
[eats the bill]
Secundus: Very pleasant.
[to Sheriff Sharp]
Secundus: Put your gun in my pocket!
[the Sheriff puts his gun in Secundus' pocket]
Secundus: Follow me, and she dies! Have a nice day!
Secundus: [Upon seeing Abraxas] What happened to your face?
Abraxas: I was volted, T-squared!
Secundus: Looks like they lined your skull with pla-steel.
Abraxas: It's over.
Secundus: Right. I win. The girl will bear my child, and he will be the answer.
Abraxas: Why? You had it all. An almost immortal lifespan. Virtually unlimited power!
Secundus: Almost? Virtually? It's not enough, when I can have it all! The key is the birth of a comater. The comater will be able to compute the anti-life equation. That child will be a comater. Join me. To stop me now, you have to kill the girl. I know you, you can't do that.
Abraxas' Answer Box: Communication from command: Secundus will be transported to penal planet Tyrannus 7, a travel warp is operative.
Secundus: HAHAHA! It doesn't matter! I win... see you soon Abraxas.
Garage Owner: Hey, what are you doin' in my shop?
Secundus: I am recharging my answerbox.
Garage Owner: Whatever the hell that is, you sure picked the wrong place to do it.
Secundus: You're quite a big man.
Garage Owner: Big enough to take you, pal!
[grabs the Garage Owner by the throat]
Secundus: Test for the anti-life equation!
Secundas' Answer Box: Subject does not posses the anti-life equation, testing will result in discorporation.
Secundus: RUN THE TEST!
[the Garage Owner evaporates]
Secundus: You failed.
Teacher: Can I help you?
Secundus: Bring me the comater.
Secundus: I said: Bring me the comater, or I will kill all these children... one at the time!
[pats a boy on the head]
Secundus: I looooove children.
Secundus: Are you a birthing member of the human race?
Secundus: I need your body!
Secundus: I'm looking for a man. A wo-man.
Cocky Youth: Women. Ah, you're looking for women. Like exotic dancers.
Secundus: I'm not familiar with the term, "exotic dancer".
Secundas' Answer Box: Exotic dancers are birthing members of this species performing contemporary fertility rites.
Secundus: [to Tommy] There's no more hiding. No more running. Just you, me, and the anti-life equation!
Secundus: [as he overlooks the balcony] I see the kingdom, father. The whole of Stormhold.
Secundus: *My* kingdom?
King: Maybe... Look up.
[Secundus looks up to the sky. The king looks to Septimus. Septimus smiles and pushes Secundus off the balcony. The King laughs uproariously]
[Secundus has just been murdered and has become a ghost, joining his other dead brothers]
Secundus: [trying to laugh off his brothers' frosty stares] Oh, please, you're not annoyed at that whole murder thing, are you? I mean, that was ten years ago.
Quartus: Great deal of good it did you, killing me, Secundus. Because now, of course, you're King of all Stormhold. Oh sorry, wait, no you're not - you're dead!
[deleted scene - the ghosts of Secundus, Quartus, and Sextus are standing in the crater next to an unconcious Yvaine]
Secundus: With all due respect to father, that window thing was a rotten trick!
Sextus: Excuse me? At least you had a chance! Quartus murdered me while I was asleep!
Quartus: How many times do I have to tell you? It was Septimus!
[the ghost of Tertius, recently poisoned, appears]
Quartus: [to Tertius] Don't speak - don't say a word! Let me guess; Septimus?
Tertius: [shrugs, then notices the stone lying next to Yvaine] The stone!
[tries to pick it up and fails]
Tertius: I can touch it! I can feel it, I just can't *shift* it! It's like it's too heavy...
[looks up at his brothers, tearfully]
Tertius: You look like a bunch of FREAKS!
Secundus: Hold on... there are five of us now! We could do it together!
Quintus: We *tried* it before - it didn't work!
Secundus: But Tertius wasn't here, there were only four of us! Come on!
[all of them gather around the stone and grab it, attempting to lift it - unbeknownst to them, Yvaine sits up]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: Come on... yes, yes... come on!
[all groan and give up]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: No...
[Yvaine sees the stone and goes to pick it up]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! N -
[she picks it up]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: Awww...
[Yvaine fastens it around her neck]
Tertius, Secundus, Quartus, Sextus, Quintus: No! Nononononono! Please! Aw.
Quartus: [sighing] Well done, everyone.
[all of them sigh and collapse - Tertius lies down in Quintus' lap]
Quartus: No, you were right, though - it was definately better with five of us.
Quartus: I mean, that's the closest we've come to actually *moving* anything!
[Tertius, in Quintis' lap, looks irritated. Quintus looks down at him]
Quintus: [soothingly] Shhh...
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