Secundus Quotes in Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe (1990)


Secundus Quotes:

  • [waitress hands Secundus the bill after he has eaten the entire breakfast menu]

    Secundus: What's this?

    First Waitress: The bill.

    Secundus: Did I order this?

    First Waitress: Everybody gets one.

    Secundus: I see.

    [eats the bill]

    Secundus: Very pleasant.

  • [to Sheriff Sharp]

    Secundus: Put your gun in my pocket!

    [the Sheriff puts his gun in Secundus' pocket]

    Secundus: Follow me, and she dies! Have a nice day!

  • Secundus: [Upon seeing Abraxas] What happened to your face?

    Abraxas: I was volted, T-squared!

    Secundus: Looks like they lined your skull with pla-steel.

    Abraxas: It's over.

    Secundus: Right. I win. The girl will bear my child, and he will be the answer.

    Abraxas: Why? You had it all. An almost immortal lifespan. Virtually unlimited power!

    Secundus: Almost? Virtually? It's not enough, when I can have it all! The key is the birth of a comater. The comater will be able to compute the anti-life equation. That child will be a comater. Join me. To stop me now, you have to kill the girl. I know you, you can't do that.

    Abraxas' Answer Box: Communication from command: Secundus will be transported to penal planet Tyrannus 7, a travel warp is operative.

    Secundus: HAHAHA! It doesn't matter! I win... see you soon Abraxas.

  • Garage Owner: Hey, what are you doin' in my shop?

    Secundus: I am recharging my answerbox.

    Garage Owner: Whatever the hell that is, you sure picked the wrong place to do it.

    Secundus: You're quite a big man.

    Garage Owner: Big enough to take you, pal!

    Secundus: Yes?

    [grabs the Garage Owner by the throat]

    Secundus: Test for the anti-life equation!

    Secundas' Answer Box: Subject does not posses the anti-life equation, testing will result in discorporation.

    Secundus: RUN THE TEST!

    [the Garage Owner evaporates]

    Secundus: You failed.

  • Teacher: Can I help you?

    Secundus: Bring me the comater.

    Teacher: What?

    Secundus: I said: Bring me the comater, or I will kill all these children... one at the time!

    [pats a boy on the head]

    Secundus: I looooove children.

  • Secundus: Are you a birthing member of the human race?

    Sonia: Huh?

    Secundus: I need your body!

  • Secundus: I'm looking for a man. A wo-man.

    Cocky Youth: Women. Ah, you're looking for women. Like exotic dancers.

    Secundus: I'm not familiar with the term, "exotic dancer".

    Secundas' Answer Box: Exotic dancers are birthing members of this species performing contemporary fertility rites.

  • Secundus: [to Tommy] There's no more hiding. No more running. Just you, me, and the anti-life equation!

  • Secundus: [as he overlooks the balcony] I see the kingdom, father. The whole of Stormhold.

    King: And...

    Secundus: *My* kingdom?

    King: Maybe... Look up.

    [Secundus looks up to the sky. The king looks to Septimus. Septimus smiles and pushes Secundus off the balcony. The King laughs uproariously]

  • [Secundus has just been murdered and has become a ghost, joining his other dead brothers]

    Secundus: [trying to laugh off his brothers' frosty stares] Oh, please, you're not annoyed at that whole murder thing, are you? I mean, that was ten years ago.

    Quartus: Great deal of good it did you, killing me, Secundus. Because now, of course, you're King of all Stormhold. Oh sorry, wait, no you're not - you're dead!

  • [deleted scene - the ghosts of Secundus, Quartus, and Sextus are standing in the crater next to an unconcious Yvaine]

    Secundus: With all due respect to father, that window thing was a rotten trick!

    Sextus: Excuse me? At least you had a chance! Quartus murdered me while I was asleep!

    Quartus: How many times do I have to tell you? It was Septimus!

    [the ghost of Tertius, recently poisoned, appears]

    Quartus: [to Tertius] Don't speak - don't say a word! Let me guess; Septimus?

    Tertius: [nods]

    Sextus: Poison?

    Tertius: [shrugs, then notices the stone lying next to Yvaine] The stone!

    [tries to pick it up and fails]

    Tertius: I can touch it! I can feel it, I just can't *shift* it! It's like it's too heavy...

    [looks up at his brothers, tearfully]

    Tertius: You look like a bunch of FREAKS!

    Secundus: Hold on... there are five of us now! We could do it together!

    Quintus: We *tried* it before - it didn't work!

    Secundus: But Tertius wasn't here, there were only four of us! Come on!

    [all of them gather around the stone and grab it, attempting to lift it - unbeknownst to them, Yvaine sits up]

    TertiusSecundusQuartusSextusQuintus: Come on... yes, yes... come on!

    [all groan and give up]

    TertiusSecundusQuartusSextusQuintus: No...

    [Yvaine sees the stone and goes to pick it up]

    TertiusSecundusQuartusSextusQuintus: No, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! N -

    [she picks it up]

    TertiusSecundusQuartusSextusQuintus: Awww...

    [Yvaine fastens it around her neck]

    TertiusSecundusQuartusSextusQuintus: No! Nononononono! Please! Aw.

    Quartus: [sighing] Well done, everyone.

    [all of them sigh and collapse - Tertius lies down in Quintus' lap]

    Quartus: No, you were right, though - it was definately better with five of us.


    Quartus: I mean, that's the closest we've come to actually *moving* anything!

    [Tertius, in Quintis' lap, looks irritated. Quintus looks down at him]

    Quintus: [soothingly] Shhh...

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