Scarecrow Quotes in The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)

The Joker: Your city is under attack by Gotham's greatest criminal minds. Including... The Riddler... Scarecrow...

Scarecrow: Pizza delivery.

The Joker: Bane.

Bane: Hello!

The Joker: Two-Face.

Two-Face: We need that door open, baby.

The Joker: Catwoman.

Catwoman: Meow, meow. You're in! Meow, meow.

Scarecrow: Pizza delivery.

The Chechen: [after bringing out a man under the influence of fear toxin] Look at what your drugs did to my customers.

Scarecrow: Buyer beware. I told you my compound would take you places. I never said they'd be places you wanted to go.

The Chechen: My business... repeat customers...

Scarecrow: If you don't like what I have to offer, you can buy from someone else. Assuming Batman left anyone to buy from.

Scarecrow: Buyer beware. I told you my compound would take you places. I never said they were places you wanted to go!

[as the Batman wanna-bes attack the drug deal]

Scarecrow: That's not him.

[Mayhem ensues, with lots of gunfire]

The Chechen: Loose the dogs!

[after more fighting, the Batmobile crashes into the garage]

Scarecrow: That's more like it!

Dorothy: How can you talk, if you haven't got a brain?

Scarecrow: I don't know. But, some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?

Dorothy: Yes. I guess, you're right.

Cowardly Lion: All right, I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I'll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there. There's only one thing I want you fellows to do.

Tin Woodsman, Scarecrow: What's that?

Cowardly Lion: Talk me out of it!

Scarecrow: I haven't got a brain... only straw.

Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?

Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?

Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.

Dorothy: Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything?

Cowardly Lion: Not nobody! Not nohow!

Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros?

Cowardly Lion: Imposerous!

Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?

Cowardly Lion: Why, I'd thrash him from top to bottomus!

Dorothy: Supposing you met an elephant?

Cowardly Lion: I'd wrap him up in cellophane!

Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?

Cowardly Lion: I'd show him who was king of the forest!

Dorothy: Now which way do we go?

Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way.

Dorothy: Who said that?

[Toto barks at scarecrow]

Dorothy: Don't be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don't talk.

Scarecrow: [points other way] It's pleasant down that way, too.

Dorothy: That's funny. Wasn't he pointing the other way?

Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways.

Cowardly Lion: Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Woodsman: Courage!

Cowardly Lion: You can say that again! Huh?

Scarecrow: Help! Help! Help!

[the Flying Monkeys walking away, Tin Man and the Lion comes to him]

Tin Woodsman: Well, what happened to you?

Scarecrow: They tore my legs off and they threw it over there! Then, they took my chest off and they threw it over there!

Tin Woodsman: Well, that's you all over.

Cowardly Lion: They sure knocked the stuffings out of you, didn't they?

Scarecrow: Don't stand there talking, put me together. We've got to find Dorothy.

[the Tin Man and the Lion trying the fix the Scarecrow]

Tin Woodsman: Now, let's see.

Scarecrow: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. Oh joy! Rapture! I got a brain! How can I ever thank you enough?

Wizard of Oz: You can't.

Dorothy: My goodness, what a fuss you're making! Well naturally, when you go around picking on things weaker than you are. Why, you're nothing but a great big coward!

Cowardly Lion: [crying] You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all. I even scare myself.

[sobs]

Cowardly Lion: Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven't slept in weeks!

Tin Woodsman: Why don't you try counting sheep?

Cowardly Lion: That doesn't do any good, I'm afraid of 'em.

[sobs loud]

Scarecrow: Aw, that's too bad.

Dorothy: Did you say something?

Tin Woodsman: [indiscernible sounds from the Tin Man, who is rusted]

Dorothy: He said oil can!

Scarecrow: Oil can what?

Dorothy: Oil can.

[Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Tin Man watch as the Wicked Witch of the West vanishes into a fireball]

Scarecrow: I'm not afraid of her! I'll see you get safely to the Wizard now, whether I get a brain or not. Stuff a mattress with me. Ha!

Tin Woodsman: I'll see you reach the Wizard, whether I get a heart or not. Beehive, bah! Let her try and make a beehive out of me!

[snaps]

Dorothy: Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had. And it's funny, but I feel as if I'd known you all the time, but I couldn't have, could I?

Scarecrow: I don't see how. You weren't around when I was stuffed and sewn together, were you?

Tin Woodsman: And I was standing over there, rusting for the longest time.

Dorothy: Still, I wish I could remember, but I guess it doesn't matter anyway. We know each other now, don't we?

Scarecrow: That's right.

Tin Woodsman: We do.

Scarecrow: To Oz?

Tin Woodsman: To Oz.

Dorothy: [Reaches to pick an apple from the apple tree, the tree grabs the apple and slaps her hand] Ouch!

Angry Apple Tree: What do you think you're doing?

Dorothy: We've been walking a long ways and I was hungry and... did you say something?

Angry Apple Tree: She was hungry!

Apple Tree: [Repeating after The Angry Apple Tree] She was hungry!

Angry Apple Tree: Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?

Dorothy: Oh, dear! I keep forgetting I'm not in Kansas!

Scarecrow: Come along, Dorothy. You don't want any of those apples!

[harrumphs]

Wizard of Oz: They have one thing you haven't got: a diploma. Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitartus Committiartum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of ThD.

Scarecrow: ThD?

Wizard of Oz: That's... Doctor of Thinkology.

Scarecrow: Witch? Hmph, I'm not afraid of a witch. I'm not afraid of anything - except a lighted match.

[points to the straw in his arm]

Dorothy: I don't blame you for that.

Cowardly Lion: [singing] I'd be brave as a blizzard...

Tin Woodsman: [singing] I'd be gentle as a lizard...

Scarecrow: [singing] I'd be clever as a gizzard...

Dorothy: [singing] If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve.

Scarecrow: [singing] Then I'm sure to get a brain...

Tin Woodsman: [singing] A heart...

Dorothy: [singing] A home...

Cowardly Lion: [singing] The nerve!

Tin Woodsman: Help! Help!

Scarecrow: It's no use screaming at a time like this. Nobody will hear you. Help! Help!

Cowardly Lion: Come on, get up and fight, you shivering junkyard!

[goes over to the Scarecrow]

Cowardly Lion: And put your hands up, you lopsided bag of hay!

Scarecrow: Now that's getting personal, Lion.

Tin Woodsman: Yes. Get up and teach him a lesson.

Scarecrow: Well, what's wrong with you teaching him?

Tin Woodsman: Well, I hardly know him.

Scarecrow: I've got a way to get us in there, and you're gonna lead us.

Wizard of Oz: [booming voice] And you, Scarecrow, have the affrontery to ask for a brain, you billowing bale of bovine fodder!

Scarecrow: Y-Yes... Yes, Your Honor... I mean, Your Excellency... I-I mean, Your Wizardry.

Wizard of Oz: [booming] Enough!

Scarecrow: [singing] I could while away the hours/conferrin' with the flowers/consultin' with the rain/And my head I'd be scratchin'/ While my thoughts were busy hatchin'/If I only had a brain.

Scarecrow: Come along, Dorothy. You don't want any of *those* apples.

[harrumphs]

Angry Apple Tree: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be?

Scarecrow: Oh, no. It's just that she doesn't like little green worms!

Dorothy: Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?

Tin Woodsman: Mm, we might.

Scarecrow: Animals that eat... s-traw?

Tin Woodsman: Some, but mostly lions, and tigers, and bears.

Dorothy: Lions?

Scarecrow: And tigers?

Tin Woodsman: And bears.

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Who rang that bell?

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, Tin Woodsman: [all four together] We did!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Can't you read?

Scarecrow: Read what?

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: The notice!

Dorothy: What notice?

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: It's on the door - as plain as the nose on my face! It... oh...

[does a "tisk tisk tisk" expression, goes inside door for a moment]

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: [Guardian hangs the notice and goes back inside]

Dorothy, Scarecrow, Cowardly Lion, Tin Woodsman: [Reading notice, all together] Bell out of order, please knock.

[Dorothy knocks]

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Well, that's more like it! Now, state your business!

Dorothy: [Dorothy and friends, all together] We want to see the Wizard!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: [gasps] The Wizard? But nobody can see the Great Oz! Nobody's ever seen the Great Oz! Even I've never seen him!

Dorothy: Well, then how do you know there is one?

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, you're wasting my time!

[starts to close the window]

Dorothy: Oh, please! Please, sir! I've got to see the Wizard! The Good Witch of the North sent me!

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Prove it!

Scarecrow: She's wearing the ruby slippers she gave her.

Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Oh, so she is! Well, bust my buttons! Why didn't you say that in the first place? That's a horse of a different color! Come on in!

Scarecrow: What about the heart that you promised Tin Man? Or the courage you promised Lion?

Tin Woodsman, Cowardly Lion: And Scarecrow's brain?

Cowardly Lion: [getting a panic attack walking into the Wizard's foyer] Wait a minute, Fellows. I was just thinking. I really don't want to see the Wizard this much. I'd better wait for you outside.

Scarecrow: What's the matter?

Tin Woodsman: Oh, he's just a scared again.

Dorothy: Don't you know the Wizard's going to give you some courage?

Cowardly Lion: I'd be too scared to ask him for it.

[sobs]

Dorothy: Well then, we'll ask him for you.

Cowardly Lion: I'd sooner wait outside.

Dorothy: Why? Why?

Cowardly Lion: Because I'm still scared.

[sobs]

Dorothy: [On her final guess Dorothy is about to guess on a bird statue, but then spots and emerald and chooses that instead] Oz!

Scarecrow: [Restored from ornament form] Dorothy!

The Nome King: [In his throne room the Nome King hears the echo of the scarecrow saying "Dorothy"] Smudge and blazes!

Dorothy: [Back in ornament room] Scarecrow!

Scarecrow: Dorothy.

[the two embrace]

Dorothy: You were green.

Scarecrow: What?

Dorothy: You were a green ornament.

Scarecrow: I was?

Dorothy: Maybe people from Oz turn into green ornaments.

Dorothy: [On her final guess Dorothy is about to guess on a bird statue, but then spots an emerald and chooses that instead] Oz!

Scarecrow: [Restored from ornament form] Dorothy!

The Nome King: [In his throne room the Nome King hears the echo of the scarecrow saying "Dorothy"] Smudge and blazes!

Dorothy: [Back in ornament room] Scarecrow!

Scarecrow: Dorothy.

[the two embrace]

Dorothy: You were green.

Scarecrow: What?

Dorothy: You were a green ornament.

Scarecrow: I was?

Dorothy: Maybe people from Oz turn into green ornaments.

Scarecrow: Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent!

Scarecrow: Success, fame, and fortune, they're all illusions. All there is that is real is the friendship that two can share.

Dorothy: That's beautiful! Who said that?

Scarecrow: [modestly] I did.

Scarecrow: Now I'll never get my brain!

Tinman: Nor my heart.

Lion: Or my courage

Dorothy: But you don't need them now because you've had them all the time. Scarecrow, you're the one who figured out how to find the yellow brick road and how to destroy Evillene, and every smart move we've made, didn't you? Lion, you wouldn't even give up when Evillene strung you up by your tail. And, Tin Man, you have more heart than anyone I've ever known.

Tinman: [hopeful] Honest?

Dorothy: Yeah, you never needed anything from the fake wizard, anyway.

Scarecrow: Barnum said there's a sucker born every minute.

Tinman: I was there when he said it, but I never thought I'd be one of them.

Scarecrow: Stay right there.

Tinman: [stuck underneath a big heavy round tin-woman] Don't worry, I wasn't planning any promenades.

Lion: Mamma would be so proud - goin' to see da WIZ!

[preens]

Lion: My momma used to say ta me, Fleet -...

Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy: FLEET?

Lion: That's my name: Fleetwood Coupe de Ville!

Tinman, Scarecrow, Dorothy: [snickers]

Lion: Momma had high ideals...

Tinman: Yeah!

Lion: Y'know what I mean?

Tinman: Yeah!

[Lion and Tin Man high-five]

Tinman: Ha hah!

Scarecrow: I'll think about you all the time, Dorothy!

Tinman: And I'll miss you... every day. Even if I had to go back to that junk pile... even as teeny's seat cushion... I wouldn't mind... because I have known... real love.

[cries]

Dorothy: Aww... don't rust yourself now.

[wipes away the tears]

Scarecrow: [after Tinman's crying] He rusted himself cryin'.

Scarecrow: [quoting] "Heavy is the head that wears a crown." - W. Shakespeare.

Dorothy: [Attempting to make the Tinman cry] Quick! Find a really sad saying!

Scarecrow: [Reaches into his hair and pulls out a piece of paper] Uh... showers this morning, clearing by tonight!

Scarecrow: [after finding out the Wiz is actually is politian from New Jersey, quotes] 'Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent' - Penrose!

The Wiz: [laughs hysterically] Incompetent! That's me!

Scarecrow: But Bacon said -...

The Four Crows: Bacon? Once over lightly, please.

Scarecrow: "Knowledge is power," and Cicero says -...

The Four Crows: Cicero, row, row your boat...