Sartana Quotes in Machete Kills (2013)

Lieutenant Brass: Immigration? What the fuck is this?

Sartana: What the fuck does it look like? Get your ass on the ground.

Lieutenant Brass: Sweetheart, I'd lose whatever strapdick you rode in on...

[shoots Lt. Brass in his leg]

Sartana: Don't call me sweetheart.

Sartana: I thought Machete don't text.

Machete: Machete improvises.

Torrez: You're Machete's girl. I know, 'cause you're his type.

Sartana: What type is that?

Torrez: Dead.

Sartana: We didn't cross the border; the border crossed us!

Sartana: Well, there's the law and there's what's right. I'm gonna do what's right.

Sartana: Yes, I am a woman of the law. And there are lots of laws. But if they don't offer us justice, then they aren't laws! They are just lines drawn in the sand by men who would stand on your back for power and glory.

[last lines]

Sartana: Where will you go?

Machete: Everywhere.

Sartana: Then I'll ride with you...

[Torrez is about to behead Machete]

Luz: He's gonna kill him.

Sartana: No he's not. He's Machete.

[Machete stabs Torrez through the stomach]

Luz: Got a point.

Sartana: I started working on the night shift taking out the trash. But I worked my way up. As translator, assistant... Now I'm Special Agent in charge of investigations.

Machete: Sounds like they still got you taking out the trash.

Sartana: I called in a few favors. Look at this. Got you all the right papers. You can start over now, be a real person.

Machete: [hands back the papers] Why do I want to be a real person when I'm already a myth?

El moreno: You look just like a scarecrow.

Sartana: I am your pallbearer.

Sartana: I'd like to get a room.

Trixie: I oughta warn you. The beds are full of bedbugs and uncomfortable, too. We ain't got roulette, there's no floorshow, and there's no girls. Our main activity is keeping out of the graveyard.