Sarge Quotes in Doom (2005)

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Sarge Quotes:

  • Sarge: Semper Fi, Motherfucker! Faithful to the corps John.

  • Sarge: I'm not supposed to die.

  • Sarge: Kill them all, let God sort them out.

  • Samantha Grimm: [about Carmack's transformation] It may even be reversible...

    Sarge: It's irreversible.

    Samantha Grimm: You don't know that...

    Sarge: Doctor-Carmack's-condition-is-irreversible.

    [turns to Carmack and raises his pistol]

    Samantha Grimm: NO-!

    [Sarge shoots Carmack]

    Sarge: Because Carmack's condition is that... he's dead.

  • [after Sarge shoots Kid]

    John Grimm: [shouting] It was his first mission!

    Sarge: And it's not gonna be my last.

  • Sarge: Are you gonna shoot me?

    John Grimm: Yeah, was thinking about it

    Sarge: What you got left?

    John Grimm: Half a clip. You?

    Sarge: [points BFG] I've got one round.

  • Sarge: [Talking about where the Imp came from] Is there anyway this thing came from the outside, on the surface?

    Samantha Grimm: The planet is completely dead.

    Corporal Dean Portman: It came from *some where*, lady.

    Sarge: Portman, shutup.

    Samantha Grimm: The atmosphere on the surface can't support life.

    Corporal Dean Portman: Maybe it doesn't need air, it could've come from another planet or something.

    Samantha Grimm: [scoffs] What, like an alien?

    Corporal Dean Portman: LOOK AT THAT THING!

    Sarge: PORTMAN, YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

  • Sarge: I didn't see shit. And I ain't paid to see shit.

  • [after blasting a hole in the wall with the BFG3000]

    Sarge: Holy shit.

  • Sarge: Pinky, do you see Portman?

    [Pinky watches Portman being attacked by a demon on his gun-cam]

    Pinky: No.

  • Corporal Dean Portman: [looks down the sewer hole] I thought "being in the shit" was a figure of speech.

    Sarge: Get in the goddamn hole, Portman.

  • Sarge: Eliminate the threat.

    The Kid: What threat?

    Duke: It goes that this see, if its trying kill ya. Its a threat

  • Sarge: How long's it been?

    John Grimm: Ten years.

    Sarge: You sure she's even still up there?

    John Grimm: [nods] Yeah.

    [pause]

    John Grimm: I guess you got to face your demons sometimes.

  • Sarge: [after unlocking Bio-Force Gun vault] Big fucking gun.

  • Sarge: Shoulder your fucking weapon, soldier!

  • [repeated line]

    Sarge: Portman, you need to shut up.

  • Sarge: We're gonna need something with a little bit more kick.

  • Sarge: Nothing gets back till everything on this planet is dead. We're going in hot.

  • Destroyer: [Destroyer lifts a gate off of a vent and shoots at something] Agh!

    Sarge: What was it?

    Destroyer: A monkey Sir. Some kind of monkey.

  • Corporal Dean Portman: We don't know what we are dealing with here. Its S.O.P. to call reinforcements when its insecu...

    Sarge: WE ARE... The reinforcements.

  • Sarge: [after pulling Portman out of the water] Portman, what the hell happened?

    Corporal Dean Portman: I fell in the damn hole.

  • [Before entering the lab]

    Samantha Grimm: In one of the carbon dating labs, there was an internal telephone left off the hook.

    Sarge: Did you get any information from it?

    [Sam looks at Hunegs, who clicks on a small tape recorder: loud screaming]

    Sarge: Open the door.

  • Sarge: Listen up, men. Leave is canceled.

    [Groans and murmuring from the squad]

    Duke: [under his breath] Aw, man... I don't believe it. Fuck!

    Sarge: You got a problem with that, Duke?

    Duke: Me, Sarge? Hell, no! I love my job!

  • Sarge: [after shooting one of his men dead] I need soldiers. I don't need anyone else, but "soldiers".

  • Sarge: You against the war, Doonesbury?

    Napoleon: Not all wars, Sarge, I just think the president lies too much.

    Sarge: All presidents lie, asshole! That's their fucking job!

    Napoleon: Yes, sir.

    Sarge: No president has told the truth since Truman! And you know what he said?

    Napoleon: No, Sarge.

    Sarge: He said that the buck stops here!

  • Sarge: A stunning display of individual and group stupidity! Seventeen civilians killed and yourselves. I'm in fucking awe!

  • Sarge: Are you fucking kidding me? You are in mountain assault training. There are no port-a-potties in Kandahar. You will take your dumps behind the cactus with the scorpions. Do you understand me?

    Napoleon: What do I use for T.P., sir?

    Sarge: Use your fucking hand.

  • Sarge: Do you like fucking with me, Napoleon? I think you do. You know what? You're officially in charge of guarding the latrine. Not using it, but guarding it. I want you to stand with one leg and hold your rifle over your fucking head and make sure that no one steals or molests that port-a-potty, or I will have your Gomer Pyle ass court-martialed immediately.

  • Sarge: There is No Heaven.

  • Big Ben: Hey Sarge!

    Sarge: Yo!

    Big Ben: That dude sittin' on the curb over there, he out of your old outfit?

    Sarge: Hell, that dude ain't never been in no outfit, probably bought that coat at the Army Surplus.

    Big Ben: I thought maybe he mighta' been one of the guys you trained, Sarge.

    Sarge: Well if you got down wind of him, he'd probably smell more like a cowboy. Whaddya think of that, pig farmer?

  • Lightning McQueen: The bad guys hit me with the beam from the camera, so, why didn't I... you know.

    Mater: Explode in a fiery inferno?

    Lightning McQueen: Yeah.

    Finn McMissile: We couldn't figure that one out, either.

    Holley Shiftwell: Our investigation proved that Allinol was actually gasoline, and Axelrod engineered it so that when it got hit by the beam, it would explode.

    Lightning McQueen: Wait a second, Fillmore. You said my fuel was safe.

    Fillmore: If you're implying that I switched out that rot-gut excuse for alternative fuel with my all natural sustainable organic bio-fuel, just because I never trusted Axelrod, you're dead wrong man...

    [points to Sarge]

    Fillmore: It was him.

    Sarge: Once big oil, always big oil... man.

  • Sarge: [tasting gas in Italy] How do they do it? These are the same ingredients as back home, but it tastes so good.

    Fillmore: It's organic, man!

    Sarge: Treehugger.

  • [repeated line]

    [Sarge is raising the flag while playing "Reveille" and Fillmore is playing Jimi Hendrix's rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner" loudly next door]

    Sarge: Will you turn that disrespectful junk OFF?

    Fillmore: Respect the classics, man! It's Hendrix!

  • Sarge: [at Sarge's SUV Boot Camp] A-TEN HUT! Kiss the pavement GOODBYE, gentlemen! When I'm finished with you, you'll have mud in places you didn't know you HAD.

    SUV: Yo! I've never been off road!

    Sarge: Well, THAT'S gonna change RIGHT now! ABOUT FACE! Drop and give me twenty miles! Go, Go, GO!

    SUV: Aw, MAN. Now I've got DIRT in my rims!

  • Fillmore: [looking at a stoplight blinking yellow] I'm tellin' you, man, every third blink is slower.

    Sarge: The '60s weren't good to you, were they?

  • [McQueen is going to surprise Sally with his new look]

    Mater: Here she comes!

    Lightning McQueen: Okay, places, everybody! Hurry! Act natural.

    [McQueen hides and everybody else gets in a perfectly straight line as Sally approaches]

    MaterRamoneFloLuigiSargeFillmore: Hi, Sally!

    Sally: All right, what's going on?

  • Fillmore: You know, some automotive yoga could really lower your RPMs, man.

    Sarge: Oh, take a carwash, hippie.

  • Sarge: Good to see ya, soldier. Come on by Sarge's Surplus Hut for all your government surplus needs.

    Minny: Oh, honey, surplus.

    Van: Honey, we have too much surplus.

  • Fillmore: How about some organic fuel?

    Sarge: That freak juice?

  • Fillmore: There's a lot of love out there, man.

    Sarge: Don't embarrass me, Fillmore.

  • [on the telephone]

    Sarge: Yeah, I know the line is busy. Find out if Miss Divine is talking, or if the phone is out of order. Hello? Operator?

    [hangs up]

    Sarge: Damn, Hamburg operators. Why the hell don't they learn English?

  • Sarge: [in an irritable voice as he disgustedly watches the Candy Man lean back and forth and crane his neck in various directions and climb around to look on different sides of the closet walls and tap the panelling with his knuckles] What're ya BUILDIN'?

  • Sarge: [seeing that Miss Devine is exiting the booth that he was planning to go into] Hey - - what're you doing in there?

    Dawn Divine: [flashing a bright mischievous smile and replying in a pretend furtive whisper] Robbing a bank!

  • [the battered and bloodied Candy Man enters while the Sarge is beating up the Major over the stolen money]

    Candy Man: Let him go! He doesn't have the money.

    Sarge: What do you know about it?

    Candy Man: My box got hit too.

    Sarge: You're kidding! All 'em boxes at the bank got hit?

    Candy Man: Not all.

    Sarge: Only us?

    Candy Man: People like us.

    Sarge: What the hell do I have to do with you? Look at yourself! You're up shit creek without a paddle.

    Candy Man: You're in the same boat.

    Sarge: Not me! I'm not connected with you in any way.

    Candy Man: Can you go to the police and report it? Huh?

    Major: He's right.

    Sarge: You shut up! The Candy Man's right. Whoever it was, if we can't call a cop... neither can they. Okay, Mr. Candy Man, you're the brains here. Who?

    [the Candy Man suddenly sees a photo of Dawn Divine and the Sarge together and he recognizes her]

    Candy Man: When we know how... we'll know who.

  • [with the Candy Man and the Major looking on, Sarge is on the phone with Mr. Kessell trying to get Joe's home address]

    Sarge: [into the phone; cheerful tone] So anyway, I go to the hotel to get my baggage and it isn't here.

    [pause]

    Sarge: Yeah, those stupid mothers never put it on the connecting plane to Munich. Now get this, my address book is inside the missing suitcase. So here we are with no way to contact my old friend Joe without knowing where he lives.

    Mr. Kessel: [into the phone] His number is not listed. I don't like to give out private numbers. But if you have his phone number anyway why...

    Sarge: [into the phone; cutting Kessel off] No, no, I can't phone him because that way we can't suprise him.

    Mr. Kessel: [into the phone] Surprise him?

    Sarge: [into the phone] Yeah, it's sort of a... going away party. Didn't Joe tell you anything?

    Mr. Kessel: [into the phone] I only know that tomorrow is his last day at the bank. All right.

    Sarge: [into the phone as he writes down the address] Yeah, go ahead. Fifty-six, what? Uh... yeah, I got it. Well, thanks a million pal. Good bye.

    [Sarge hangs up and then rises to his feet to face the Candy Man and the Major]

    Sarge: [serious tone] Let's go to a surprise party.

  • [Sarge has his gun on Joe in the train cabin]

    Sarge: [as he takes away Joe's suitcase] Stay where you are! Up! You ought to be ashamed at yourself. Jesus, boy... you work for the bank!

    [feels around the suitcase]

    Sarge: All right, where's the key?

    [Joe laughs slightly]

    Sarge: The key!

    Joe Collins: [continuing to laugh] Uh... you're not going to believe this...

    Sarge: That's right!

    [Sarge pulls out a switchblade knife and cuts into the suitcase cutting open a large hole, he feels inside and pulls out a bottle of champaigne and throws the suitcase back at Joe who has stopped laughing]

    Sarge: Count it!

    Joe Collins: Well, I know how much there is. Your share is...

    [Joe is suprised when he pulls out of the cut open suitcase crumbled newspaper with fish wrapped up in it]

    Joe Collins: Uh... Sarge? We've been had!

    Sarge: Shut up.

    Joe Collins: As I said, your share of this is around $765,000.

    Sarge: Shut up!

    Joe Collins: What? You think I lugged this goddamn thing across Germany just for the exercise?

    Sarge: SHUT UP!

  • Sarge: I can't believe this. You're a heavyweight to pull off a million dollar caper, but foolish enough to get caught by a lightweight hustler like me?

    Joe Collins: Million-and-a-half, Sarge. One million and a half. That's how much that Dawn and I took from yours and the two other bank boxes.

    Sarge: Where is Dawn? Where is she?

    Joe Collins: Now?

    Sarge: Right now!

    Joe Collins: Gee, it looks like... she's where the money is!

  • Nurse Brenda: [Nurse Brenda walks into Sarge's office and closes the door] Hey Sarge...

    Sarge: [Sarge gets up from the couch] Hello there. I have to say that last night was spectacular... Incredible! I'm getting hot just thinking about it.

    Nurse Brenda: I feel the same way. You were just amazing!

    Sarge: You do? I mean, I was? Well, of course you feel that way.

    Nurse Brenda: I mean six times in one night is quite an achievement.

    Sarge: That's nothing babe.

    Nurse Brenda: Why don't we go for seven!

    [Nurse Brenda jumps on Sarge, wrapping her legs around his waist. She starts kissing his neck and lips]

    Sarge: What? Now? Here?

    Nurse Brenda: Sure, for starters.

    [Sarge looses his balance. He falls on the couch, on top of Nurse Brenda]

    Sarge: Oops.

    Nurse Brenda: Oh Sarge! You're just raring to go!

    Sarge: Now, just hold on.

    [She unbuttons her blouse]

    Nurse Brenda: Do me! Do me! Ride me, you wild stallion! Oh! I want you to fuck me all over this camp.

    Sarge: No! Not here. We can't do it now!

    [She unzips his shorts and put her hand down his fly]

    Sarge: Whoa!

    Nurse Brenda: Come on, Sarge. Give it to me.

    Sarge: What? Wait, just wait! Someone could come in. Someone could see us.

    Nurse Brenda: That's what makes it so hot! I want it now! Oh god, you're getting me all goose pimply. Have a feel.

    [She opens her bra]

    Sarge: Oh, oh my!

    Nurse Brenda: My tits changed your mind, huh?

    Sarge: Oh Brenda!

    [Sits on couch. Brenda sits on his lap, her legs wrapped around his waist]

    Nurse Brenda: Oh Sarge, let's christen the whole camp.

    [She puts her hand down his shorts]

    Sarge: I'm not in the mood.

    Nurse Brenda: That's not the feeling I'm getting.

    Sarge: Look, you have to go. She could walk in on us.

    [Brenda gets off Sarge and closes her bra]

    Sarge: Look Brenda, last night was great but we can't do it all over camp. Someone might see us.

    [Brenda buttons her blouse and walks to the door]

    Sarge: I'm meeting her tonight. ButI promise, I'll be all set for tomorrow.

    Nurse Brenda: No one keeps Brenda waiting! I guess I'll have to take all this sexual energy out on a poor, virginal camper. Too bad. I'm horny enough for the bee costume.

    [She exits]

  • Ernest P. Worrell: Gosh Ben, you never let me do anything, ever since we were kids.

    Sarge: I let you do stuff.

    Ernest P. Worrell: What kind of stuff?

    Sarge: ...Stuff.

    Ernest P. Worrell: Well okay, stuff, but you never let drive.

  • Sarge: Van Hauser wants to file a complaint on you, Taylor.

    Brian Taylor: Oh, the USS Van Houser? The LAPD's stealthiest submarine, only surfaces at the end of watch?

  • Sarge: [at Taylor's wedding reception, Sarge, looking a bit drunk, is talking to a group of US Marines] My boy Garcia? He's a fucking beast, man. Right? I've seen this motherfucker knock an asshole out with one punch. Yoked assholes, man. Yoked assholes from the joint when they had weight piles. You know what I'm talking about? You don't know what I'm talking about, you're fucking twelve years old. Cops like him... Like soldiers. He took a bullet for me. My bullet, man. He took my bullet. He took my bullet. That's what he was. That's what he was to me. It should have been me, cause he was a good guy. I was shit. Fuck it, man.

  • Sarge: LAPD! Drop the guns! Drop 'em!

    La La: Curbside Gang, putos!

    Sarge: Fuck you!

    [the police open fire]

  • Sarge: Taylor, why didn't you shoot that son of a bitch? You had him dead to rights.

    Brian Taylor: I just didn't feel like killing anyone tonight, Sarge.

    Sarge: You feel like writing this up? Brass is gonna want clean paper, make sure all the logs match.

    Mike Zavala: Sarge, did you see that? Van H has a fucking Ginsu sticking out of his eye.

    Sarge: His eye was cut in half. The lens was hanging out. He's not coming back. Rookie, too. She ain't coming back. She gave me this to give to the watch commander.

    [holds up Sook's badge]

    Mike Zavala: On the spot?

    Sarge: Yeah.

    Davis: Oh well. She wouldn't have made probation anyway.

    Orozco: Hell no.

    Sarge: What, because her daddy's not a captain?

    Davis: You know she wasn't cut out for this shit.

    Sarge: Why is that?

    Davis: The evidence.

    Orozco: She almost got Van Houser killed.

    Sarge: You guys are cold, man. You got cold, dead eyes. You know that? Yeah both of you. You have a soul?

    Davis: Yes, we just leave it at home.

    Brian Taylor: Yo, we gonna sit around yapping or we gonna get this done?

    Orozco: Dude, you guys saved that rookie's life. That was one big fucking fat ese.

  • Sarge: Hold my cane. Step outside & I'll kick both of ya's ass like you stole something!

  • Sarge: Dames! They're like poison ivy; rub some all over yourself and things start to swell up.

Browse more character quotes from Doom (2005)

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