Sara Quotes in The Huntsman: Winter's War (2016)
Sara: We blind ourselves to the truth because we are weak, because we hope. But there's no hope for love. Love ends in betrayal. Aye and always.
Sara: Dead? Is that what you told everyone? You poor heartbroken widower. That story must have wet the eyes of many young lasses. Maybe more than their eyes.
Sara: This is a Remington 870. One blast could cut you the fuck in half.
Joe: In half. Yeah, that's telling. You're holding a gun, I say I'm not afraid, so you describe the gun to me. It's not the gun I'm not afraid of.
Cid: Where's Joe?
Sara: He had to go away, baby.
Sara: [points her gun at the sugar cane field] Listen up, fucker! I have shot and buried three vagrants in the past year! So I don't care what hobo sob story you've got. I get a dozen a week, pal. It cuts no cash for me. But if you show your face here again, I will cut you the fuck in half!
Joe: Time travel hasn't been invented yet, but in thirty years, it will have been. It's gonna be used by these big criminal syndicates...
Sara: You're a looper?
Sara: You're going to kill this guy, your own self?
Sara: We know you're frustrated, Jack Bruno...
Jack Bruno: No. No more "Jack Bruno this, Jack Bruno that." I've been asking for answers...
Sara: You already know the answers, Jack Bruno. My brother and I are indeed not from your planet.
Jack Bruno: [laughs] That's it? So that's it? Mystery solved! You two want me to believe that you're both aliens.
Seth: It is the truth.
Jack Bruno: Really? Well, you don't look like aliens.
Sara: Well, what does an alien look like, Jack Bruno?
Jack Bruno: You know what aliens look like. They look like, like little green people with antennas and, and laser guns and, "Take me to your leader, Earthlings."
Sara: He require some sort of proof. He thinks we're insulting his intelligence.
Jack Bruno: YOU THINK? You just can't just drop the "we're aliens" bomb, just like that on somebody. Now, I know I've seen some pretty weird things today, but you can't expect me to believe that...
Sara: [using telekinesis to levitate the objects in the car] I have the ability to move objects with my mind.
Jack Bruno: That's impossible...
Sara: No, it's quite possible. On our planet as well as yours. You don't do it, because you haven't learnt to use your full brain capacity.
Jack Bruno: No... I don't do it because it's kind of creepy and I would like you to stop.
Sara: A wise human once said "You are what you think you are!"
Jack Bruno: Well why don't you ask HIM?
Seth: It was the Buddha... He's unavailable!
Sara: [Seeing all the researchers around their spaceship] We have to hurry.
Jack Bruno: Well, tell them that.
Dr. Alex Friedman: Good idea.
Sara: How could it be that a human who is so large in form felt so small inside?
[puts her hand on Jack's]
Sara: Maybe you need help too, Jack Bruno.
Sara: Why Melvin you're beautiful. You're a beautiful person. You're so muscular. It's been two years since I've touched a man.
Sara: [tearfully] You're an animal!
Manny: No, worse! Human. Human!
Sara: Boy, I guess you guys picked the wrong train.
Sara: Hold me. I don't want to die alone.
Buck: We gonna be all right.
Buck: We gonna be fine.
Manny: Ha,ha. We all die alone.
Sara: [after Manny says he will jump from the moving train] If you jump here, you're gonna break every bone in your body, and then what?
Manny: They been broke before.
Manny: You got real guts! More guts than brains!
Sara: What did you say?
Manny: No brains!
Sara: That's mean!
Manny: That's the truth!
Sara: I'm not sure there is much to say anyway... You are done with that shit. Done. We're going home and we're gonna live in our house like normal people.
Sara: I'm alone here, as you can see, with my baby. I need to believe you mean no harm.
[Inman takes out his gun]
Inman: No, I mean to give it to you.
Sara: I don't want it. If I had my way they'd take metal altogether out of this world. Every blade, every gun.
Sara: Don't you want a woman of your own?
Hogan: What for?
Sara: To share your name, bear your children, be a companion.
Hogan: To ask me to quit drinking, quit gambling and save my money? And to bitch about her aches and pains all day? No thanks!
Hogan: Sister! This here is a cathouse!
Sara: Oh no, Hogan. This is no cathouse. This is the best whorehouse in town!
Sara: [Wants Hogan to bury the three men he's just killed] Do you have a shovel?
Hogan: Sister, raise your eyes to heaven.
[They both look up at the sky, to see vultures circling overhead]
Hogan: Now are they or are they not God's creatures?
Sara: Of course they are.
Hogan: Well, why do you want to rob them of all this convenient nourishment?
Sara: [Helping Hogan practice shooting, before the train arrives at the trestle] Sober up! Sober up, you dirty bastard, or I'll kill ya'!
Hogan: [Sara has stopped at a small shrine by the road, and begins to pray] Now what're you doing?
Sara: I must say a prayer at this shrine.
Hogan: You said your prayers last night and this morning. You're gonna' wear 'em out.
Sara: It's a sin to pass a shrine without praying.
Hogan: Not if you close your eyes, it isn't.
Sara: Please, Mr. Hogan.
Hogan: All right. It's a small shrine. Let's make it a small prayer.
Sara: Sober up! You sober up, you dirty bastard or I'll kill you! Sit up! Now, tell me when to hold my breath... Dear Mary, Mother of God, help this no-good atheist to shoot straight.
Hogan: Hold your breath.
Hogan: [after shooting straight at the dynamite] What did I tell you? Did I or did I not hear you call me a bastard?
Sara: Well, I suppose whiskey can make a man hear anything. Dear Lord, forgive him for the impurity of his thoughts.
Hogan: Sister Sara, you're gonna slow me up some, but I'm gonna take you to one of those guerilla bands you're looking for.
Sara: Do you belong to one of them?
Hogan: Till I get paid, yeah.
Sara: Paid? You mean in gold?
Hogan: Well, let's put it this way: they pay me off in tortillas, I'm gonna shoot 'em right in the eye.
Sara: But the Juaristas are too poor to hire anybody.
Hogan: Well, I made a deal to work out a plan to take the garrison. If it pays off then I get half the French treasury.
Sara: Then you don't have any sympathy for their cause?
Hogan: Not theirs or anybody else's. See I spent two years in a war in the States. Right now, all I'm interested in is money.
Sara: If money is all you care about then why did you fight in that war?
Hogan: Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once.
Hogan: You praying for me?
Hogan: Well then I must be drunk enough 'cause, damn my eyes, I find that kinda touching.
Sara: The least you can do is take off your hat.
Hogan: Haven't got time for that.
[as Hogan kisses Sara, she removes his hat]
Sara: [Sensing a mountain lion is nearby, Hogan is having Sara climb a tree for her own safety] Please, Mr. Hogan. Looking down from heights frightens me.
Hogan: Then look up.
Hogan: How 'bout you, ma'am? Haven't you ever wanted to be a whole woman? Have a man make love to you? Have children?
Sara: [Demurely] I've chosen a different way of life.
Hogan: Well, what about when you get those feelings that your God gave every woman, including you? You know, I always wondered about that.
Sara: Well, we're human, of course. When we get those feelings, uh... we pray until they pass.
Hogan: In your case, sister, just how much prayin' does that take?
Sara: [Incapacitated due to the arrow wound, Hogan is having Sara climb a high train trestle to set a charge of dynamite] If I climb that trestle, I'll fall.
Hogan: A fine, psalm-singin' hypocrite you are! The French are gonna' slaughter a whole outfit of your Juaristas, and you're the only one who can help 'em. And you won't climb one lousy, stinkin' trestle.
Hogan: Did I or did I not hear you call me a bastard?
Sara: Well! I suppose whiskey can make a man hear anything. Oh, Dear Lord, forgive him for the impurity of his thoughts!
Sara: Mr. Hogan, you should be happy you're still alive. What do you want from life, anyway? A ranch? Cattle? What do you want?
Hogan: A ranch? You mean get up at sunrise, go to bed at sunset, rearin' the saddle all day. No thanks, sister, I'd rather be dead. No sister, there's this town called San Francisco that's booming. And if I get this stake, well, I'm gonna' open myself up the biggest gambling saloon in the whole area. With long red mahogany bars and green felt tables. And we'll play roulette, and dice and faurot and all those wonderful games. And I realize that doesn't mean much to you, but to me, that's livin'.
Sara: [Faint smile] Some men have strange dreams.
Hogan: [Referring to Sara's lone mule, sparsely equipped] Your mule?
Hogan: No provisions, no canteen? Just how'd you figure on existing?
Sara: I was confident the Lord would provide.
Hogan: [Motioning to the bodies of the three men who'd tried to rape her] Three more like them?
Sara: He also provided you.
Hogan: By the way, Sister, I guess I owe you an apology. When I was trying to get you up the tree, I...
Sara: Oh, no apology is necessary, Mr. Hogan. In emergencies, the Church grants dispensation. It's no sin that you pushed me up the tree with your hands on my ass.
Hogan: [Shocked] Where'd you learn that kind of English?
Sara: What kind?
Sara: Oh, in the convent. Sister Harriet taught us words for parts of the body. This part she called the ass.
Hogan: Where is this Sister Harriet from, anyway?
Sara: New Orleans. Why?
Hogan: I'd sure as hell like to know what she did before she became a nun.
Sara: [Sara and Hogan are in the cantina 'El Gato Negro'] You're getting drunk again, are you?
Hogan: Oh, I never get drunk unless I'm shot by Yaquis.
Sara: Then why the tequila?
Hogan: Just to oil up my arm. That's all.
Hogan: [Sara has returned with a batch of peasants' donated valuables, that will help Hogan purchase dynamite back in Texas] How did you do?
Sara: I'm not sure.
Hogan: You must know if you've got something worthwhile?
Sara: I just don't know how much it'll bring in Texas...
Hogan: You don't?
Hogan: [Looks at the small pile of jewelry, impressed] This will buy enough dynamite to give my horse a rupture. You did real well for me, Sister.
Hogan: [in Colonel Beltran's direction] Uh... for the cause.
Sara: Maybe this will buy you a bottle of 'medicine' to keep your arm well-oiled.
Sara: We have to get that trap door open, too, don't we?
Hogan: You know what you're talkin' about's crazy, Sara.
Sara: Listen, Hogan, everybody's got a right to be a sucker once.
Hogan: [knocking on the door] Sara, open up.
Sara: I'm taking a bath!
Hogan: Well, get out of the bath.
Sara: Will you come back later? I want to be all dressed up for you.
Hogan: [break down the door with his foot] Who the hell wants to see you dressed?
Hogan: Remember what I told you about accidents? We didn't have to run across those damn Yaquis but we did. No miracle, just a rotten, lousy accident that's gonna cost me my whole deal. Get me up straight. Get me up straight. You are a beautiful woman, Sister Sara. You feel like a beautiful woman, you smell like beautiful woman.
Sara: Please, Mr Hogan.
Hogan: I can't help thinking, that first time I saw you and you were almost naked...
Sara: You must forget that.
Hogan: I can't, my beautiful Sister. I don't want to forget. Every night when we bed down next to each other I think of you that way and I want to reach out and touch you and hold you and feel you.
Sara: I forgive you because I know that if you weren't drunk...
Hogan: Maybe. Maybe so. But you can't stop a man from wishing. I sure wish you weren't a nun.
Sara: Please, Mr Hogan.
Hogan: All right.
Hogan: You let me down, Sister. You let me down.
Sara: Then why don't you get on your horse?
Sara: You're too drunk to ride alone. I'll have to get on with you. Hold on to the mane. Lean back against me. Lean back. Tell your horse to get moving.
Hogan: I like being in the arms of a good-looking nun. How do you like it, Sister?
Sara: The Church allows this for your safety but you may not take liberties.
Hogan: I apologise, ma'am. I most sincerely do.
Sara: Hello, Mr Hogan.
Hogan: How do, Sister?
Sara: Glad to see you're back safe.
Hogan: Waiting for the dynamite?
Sara: And you.
Hogan: What, me personal?
Sara: Mm, I missed you. Yeah.
Hogan: It's felt kinda wrong the past few days not having you slowing me up.
Sara: Did it?
Hogan: Yeah, damn it.
Sara: What's the matter?
Hogan: Well, you see, there's a problem, Sister... I should have never met up with you in the first place.
Sara: What are you doing?
Hogan: I'm doing for you what no Holy Virgin's in any position to do.
Hogan: We'll walk slowly so as not to stir up this stream bed any more than we have to.
Sara: Why did you put that dead man on the horse?
Hogan: A horse with a rider makes a deeper print than a horse without. If we're lucky, the French will follow those ponies. Here... Eat this. I told you to eat something back there. Your stomach keeps growling, we'll have the whole French army on us.
Sara: These little noises can't be heard. Why are you so angry with me?
Hogan: Well... maybe a nun ought not be so good-lookin'.
Sara: The way I look is of no importance. I'm married to our Lord Jesus Christ.
Hogan: That's what I'm steamed up about, if you'll pardon my being frank.
Sara: I'm not offended, Brother Hogan.
Hogan: Don't "Brother" me!
Hogan: They split up, damn it, and they're catchin' up. I wouldn't just sit there, move.
Sara: We can't outrun 'em. You can get in here.
Hogan: I may not shoot all of them but I'll get their attention. Wait, then head on out the other way.
Sara: You've been a wonderful friend, Mr Hogan. Go with God.
Hogan: Leave Him out of this, huh? Get movin'!
Hogan: I guess you haven't slept much on the ground.
Sara: Oh, I'm very tired. I'll sleep.
Hogan: For somebody who's wore out, you sure got a happy look.
Sara: It was a miracle you found me when you did, Mr Hogan.
Hogan: That was no miracle, just an accident and life is full of 'em.
Sara: No. It was a miracle.
Hogan: Yes, ma'am. Two men are ridin' along side by side, a bullet ricochets off a rock, kills one of them but not the other - just an accident, no miracle.
Sara: Then you believe there are no miracles?
Hogan: Well, um... Now, you take that fella this morning. He could've picked up that stick of dynamite and thrown it back at me before I shot him. Now, that would have been a miracle.
Hogan: It's nice to hear you laugh, ma'am.
Sara: You think nuns don't laugh?
Hogan: I don't know. I never spent the night with one before.
Hogan: Good night, Mr Hogan. Thank you again for everything.
Sara: You make very good coffee.
Hogan: A man on his own has to take care of himself.
Sara: So you're not married?
Sara: Ever been?
Sara: Want to be?
Sara: Don't you want a woman of your own?
Hogan: What for?
Sara: Share your name, bear your children, be a companion?
Hogan: To ask me to quit drinkin', quit gamblin', save my money and to bitch about her aches and pains? No, thanks.
Hogan: What about those feelings your god gave every woman, including you? I've always wondered. Well, we're human, of course.
Sara: When we get those feelings, we pray until they pass.
Hogan: In your case, just how much praying does that take? What about before you became a nun? Did you ever have a man?
Hogan: Ever been kissed by one?
Hogan: Haven't you ever laid awake wondering what it would be like?
Hogan: All the women I've ever met were natural-born liars but I never knew about nuns till now.
Sara: You're right. I lied.
Hogan: I'll say one thing, Sister. I sure woulda liked to have met up with you before you took to them clothes and them vows.
Hogan: Get me some gunpowder out of my saddle bag. Don't come near me till I tell you. Pour some in your hand... and leave the pouch there. Fill the groove. Fill the groove. That's fine. All right, now comes the hard part. Cos we gotta time this perfect. As soon as I light the powder, you drive the arrow through me and pull it out the other side.
Sara: What do I hit it with?
Hogan: Take the knife, put the flat part over the end... and hit it with the gun. And please, Sister Sara, please hit it a straight blow, not a glancing one, huh?
Sara: What if I don't hit it straight?
Hogan: The hell with that, my beautiful Sister. The arrow will break off inside me. Now, I know you're an A-1 gravedigger but...
Sara: All right. What do I do with the moss?
Hogan: Plug the holes both sides. Push it in about a half-inch. All right. One last swallow and it's up to you, Doc.
Sara: [Sara prays before pulls out the arror]
Hogan: Prayin' for me?
Hogan: Well, then I must be drunk enough. Damn my eyes, I find that kind of touchin'. One last thing, Sister. The powder will flare up when I light it, so watch yourself.
Sara: Oh, no, Mr Hogan. No. - Now, wait a minute. Remember I saved your life.
Sara: I saved yours today, too.
Hogan: I saved yours twice from the French.
Sara: I saved yours twice - the arrow?
Hogan: What are you gonna do? Are you gonna desert me in my hour of need? What about that rattlesnake when you were hiding?
Sara: That was easy, no risk at all.
Hogan: Did I or did I not come to you in your hour of need? This is my hour of need.
Sara: What kind of need is your need? All you have on your mind is money.
Hogan: What's more important than that?
Hogan: When I give the signal, you get ready to move.
Sara: This little cottontail wishes she had that cross back.
Sara: [after drinking from Hogan's whiskey] I'm not intoxicated!
Hogan: Well, you ought to be - that's a hell of a lot of whiskey before breakfast.
Sara: My faith in god will turn it into water.
Sara: We'd better hurry... I've never seen a train blown to hell-and-gone before.
Sara: Why did you put that dead man on the horse?
Hogan: Because a horse with a rider makes a deeper print than a horse without a rider. If we're lucky, the French will follow THOSE ponies.
Sara: Dear Mary, Mother of God, help this no-good atheist to shoot straight.
Sara: In Mexico a nun can travel safely among murderers and thieves.
Sara: [Having eaten for dinner the rattlesnake Hogan had killed earlier - a snake that had thoroughly repulsed her] It's hard to believe that rattlesnake could taste so delicious.
Sara: Alright, Mr. Mule. You know you were right. You are as stubborn as my mule.
Sara: Tyrant! Doesn't anyone have the guts to stick up to him?
Sara: You can't go see Herod. When he finds you what you're up to, he'll slit your throats. It's suicide! It's said that he's controlled by an evil being.
Gaspar: And now there's an evil being! This is just too much.
Melchor: Sarah, my dear, it's impossible for a king to be evil. Just look at the city he's built. Kings are good people. It's in their nature.
Sara: Listen to me! I'm begging you.
Balthazar: Sarah, it was the star that brought us here. You'll stay outside the palace gate. Let's go.
Sara: Not even scorpions cross his path.
Sara: [to Marion] I'm holding you so the ice in you will melt from my warmth.
Sara: Don't you like kisses? A kiss won't eat you up.
Sara: [bathes Marion] You almost got pneumonia. Young boys are so reckless... but that's what's good about them.
Alejandro as a child: The darkness is swallowing everything. It's going to devour us.
Sara: Alejandrito, do I love you?
Alejandro as a child: Yes, Mama.
Sara: How much?
Alejandro as a child: From the sky to the earth.
Sara: This is not my love, it comes from God. I am merely the sender. As God creates all, so we all radiate His love. My son, the darkness loves you as much as I do, for it is God's shadow.
Joe: Yeah, my man's gonna get it on tonight. Yes sir.
Sara: Yeah, you better get on me too.
Joe: What is wrong with this woman? Mercy mercy mercy.
Sara: He scares me.
David: He's a two-star Michelin chef. He's supposed to be scary.
Sara: Well, "two" doesn't seem like many.
David: To get even one Michelin star, you have to be like Luke Skywalker. Okay? To get two, you have to be... whoever Alec Guinness was. But if you manage to get three... you're Yoda.
Sara: Well, what if he's Darth Vader?
Sara: You don't have to understand. You just have to have faith.
Jonathan: Faith in what?
Jonathan: This is the ultimate blend to drink. How'd you find this place?
Sara: I first came in because of the name: Serendipity. It's one of my favorite words.
Jonathan: It is? Why?
Sara: It's such a nice sounding word for what it means: a fortunate accident.
Sara: Okay. Favorite movie.
Jonathan: The correct answer is Cool Hand Luke.
Sara: I've never seen it.
Jonathan: Oh, come on. You've never seen Cool Hand Luke? Paul Newman? Oh my god. Come on! "Failure to communicate." Sadistic cop in sunglasses with no name. Reminds me of you in that way.
Sara: Um, favorite New York moment.
Jonathan: This one's climbing the charts.
Jonathan: Let's go do something.
Sara: Alright, what d'ya wanna do?
Jonathan: I don't care.
Sara: Alright, come on.
Jonathan: Happy anniversary.
Sara: When did you get to be so unimaginably romantic?
Jonathan: I think that it's good luck that we return this year to the scene of the crime.
[pours a paper cup of champagne]
Bloomingdale's Salesman: Oh, I don't think so, no beverages on the premises, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Jonathan: Hey, how are you doing? Don't you remember me?
Bloomingdale's Salesman: Yes I do.
Jonathan: This is her, This is the girl!
Bloomingdale's Salesman: Ms. Carbon-copy.
Bloomingdale's Salesman: I see.
Jonathan: This is the guy who helped me find you!
Sara: Oh, hi!
Bloomingdale's Salesman: If you're not going to purchase anything, please make room for paying customers.
Jonathan: We do, we want some gloves, some cashmere gloves.
[closing bell rings]
Bloomingdale's Salesman: Oh, I'm sorry, that would be the closing bell. Perhaps tomorrow...
Sara: You're not serious...
Bloomingdale's Salesman: Store hours 10 to 7 except Sundays and holidays.
Jonathan: He warms up...
Bloomingdale's Salesman: At the discretion of management or with the possible visit of dignitaries...
[Sara goes behind the counter]
Bloomingdale's Salesman: No, no, no, no, please, on the other side of the counter! You cannot come back here, this is for authorized personnel only, please stay on your side of the counter, thank you very much!
Jonathan: I hope you enjoy the gloves you bought yourself.
Sara: Oh, I'm sure I will, I usually enjoy my own thoughtfulness.
Jonathan: So are you gonna meet your boyfriend now or what?
Sara: No, I think he's out probably doing what you're doing.
Jonathan: Getting a crush on somebody else's girlfriend? No, I'm sorry, I just meant I had a really nice time. You know, maybe you should give me your phone number. Just in case.
Sara: In case of what?
Jonathan: In case of life. I just had a really great time and for all we know I wouldn't be able to find you again.
Sara: Well, if we're meant to meet again, we'll meet again. it's just not the right time now.
Jonathan: Maybe we're supposed to meet on British time and we're five hours too early.
[Discussing the Cool Hand Luke poster Sara saw]
Eve: Sara, it was a movie poster, it's no big deal.
Sara: It's peculiar though, right? Don't you think?
Eve: I thought you were through with all this new-age bullshit, feng-shuey and all that crap.
Sara: Eve, for someone who owns a new-age store you're incredibly earth-bound
Eve: Oh yeah, well, for a shrink-in-training, you're a little bit crazy, I'll tell you that much.
Eve: Prada! Ooh! Prada! I love this stuff!
Salesman: That's 20 bucks.
Sara: Eve, that's a horrific knockoff! At least my knockoff says 'Pradi,' yours says 'Prado!'
Eve: Well, I say for a dollar I can buy a magic marker and fix it. I'll take it!
Jonathan: [man takes black cashmire gloves] Whoa, whoa, whoa, sir, there are ours.
Customer at Bloomingdale's: Oh, your gloves? Well how come, I mean, they're just sorta hanging there. Sleeping with their little price tag on
Jonathan: We were just discussing them. This is uhh...
Customer at Bloomingdale's: Well I have news for you, you can go on discussing them long after I've paid for them.
Jonathan: Listen, just calm down, all right. Just calm down.
Customer at Bloomingdale's: [to Sara] It's 5 days before Christmas and I'm in the middle of a New York department store and he's asking me to calm down?
Jonathan: Listen these were meant to be a very special gift for someone.
Sara: Yeah, we've put quite a lot of thought into those.
Customer at Bloomingdale's: Aww, is that right? Well, who were they for?
Jonathan: [says simultaneously with Sara] My girlfriend. Her boyfriend.
Sara: [says simultaneously with Jon] My boyfriend. His girlfriend.
Customer at Bloomingdale's: One pair of gloves for two people?
Jonathan: This is hard to explain.
Customer at Bloomingdale's: Try.
Jonathan: [to Sara] All right, go ahead.
Sara: Oh, uh, well he is at the present time my boyfriend...
Jonathan: ...but in 18 months...
Sara: ...after the operation
Jonathan: ...he will be...
Sara: ...she will be...
Jonathan: ...my girlfriend. Do you understand?
Lars: How does Bora Bora sound?
Sara: Very sexy sexy.
Jonathan: Happy Anniversary.
Sara: When did you get to be so UNABASHEDLY romantic?
Jonathan: I think that it's good luck that we return this year to the scene of the crime.
Sara: What should we toast to?
Hitch: Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.
Hitch: Do you know the definition of perseverance, Miss Melas?
Sara: An excuse to be obnoxious?
Hitch: Continuing a course of action without regard to discouragement, opposition or previous failure, over.
Sara: So, you kinda like me, huh?
Hitch: No. I love you.
Sara: Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy Vance?
Hitch: Wow. I don't believe this. That's your source?
Sara: You buried yourself, Alex.
Hitch: Then you weren't listening.
Sara: I heard every word. You're a scam artist. You trick women into getting...
Hitch: Into getting out of their own way, so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance!
[host gestures for him to leave]
Hitch: Okay, no, no, no, no. I want everybody to take a good look at this right now. Because this, this right here, this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard!
Speed Dating Guy: Sir, let's go, now.
Hitch: And Vance Munson is a pig! And I refused to work with him. You need to get your facts right. It's because of jerks like him that I even have a job... *had* a job!
Sara: Can you believe that guy?
Casey Sedgewick: Actually... I do.
Sara: [dejectedly] Me, too.
Hitch: Now, on the one hand, it is very difficult for a man to even speak to someone who looks like you. But, on the other hand, should that be your problem?
Sara: So life's kind of hard all around.
Hitch: Not if you pay attention. I mean, you're sending all the right signals - no earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back, you're wearing reading glasses with no book, drinking a Grey Goose martini, which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it. And if that wasn't clear enough, there's always the "fuck off" sign that you have stamped on your forehead.
Max: Spoken like a true cynic.
Sara: I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist!
Max: Or a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist.
Sara: Relationships are for people who are just waiting for something better to come along.
Sara: }: If he's stupid enough to cheat, the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught.
Chip: I noticed your glass was getting a little low so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini.
Sara: [bemused] Thank you.
Chip: And I couldn't help but notice... you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
Sara: What's your name?
Chip: They call me Chip.
Sara: Aww, you can't get them to stop?
Chip: [laughs] That was funny.
Sara: Listen, Chip, I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room and try to generate a relationship out of thin air, so don't take the following personally...
Chip: You have fantastic eyes.
Sara: [chuckles] Thanks, try to listen. I... uh, this is no reflection on you, I'm just not interested. But thank you for the compliment of coming over.
Chip: You're welcome. So, do you like Cuban food?
Sara: Chip, seriously, that wasn't code for "I wish you'd try harder".
Chip: Are you always so shut down and afraid? That the right man might make you feel...
Hitch: [puts a hand on Chip's shoulder] ... Feel like a natural woman?
Hitch: Sorry, I'm late, honey, I couldn't get a cab. How was the meeting?
Sara: Ooh. Well, there was a beginning, a middle... and an end. Nice to meet you, Chip.
Chip: [stands up to walk away] You, too.
Sara: [on the phone talking to Geoff] Did I call it or did I call it? I mean, what did I say, six months? And when was her first date? So five-and-a-half? God, I hate it when I'm right. I mean, what is it about guys that makes them want to screw anything that walks, even when they're going out with someone as awesome as Allegra Cole? I mean, she's only the single most fabulous thing walking around New York.
[takes a paper from the newsstand]
Sara: Thanks, Young.
[back to phone]
Sara: Are you kidding? Of course I'm going to run it! Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat, even if he is gorgeous? Hey, if he's stupid enough to cheat, then the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught.
Sara: So how'd you meet him?
Casey Sedgewick: I was in La Perla just buying some weekend thongs.
Sara: And he was doing likewise?
Casey Sedgewick: No. Actually he said he was buying something for his mom.
Sara: His mom? Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie for their mother?
Casey Sedgewick: Well, maybe he was looking for a robe.
Sara: Oh Casey. Casey, he was hitting on you while he was buying lingerie for another woman.
Casey Sedgewick: Well, I prefer the mother story.
Sara: I know you prefer it, but that's not the point.
Casey Sedgewick: No, the point is I'm not gonna start out assuming the guy's a liar.
Sara: Why not?
Casey Sedgewick: Because, that's how you wind up...
Sara: Like *me?* Is that what you were gonna say?
Casey Sedgewick: No, I was going to say 'like you.'
Vance: Okay, okay. How much will it cost me to stay out of this?
Sara: I don't want money. I want a name.
Vance: I don't know his name.
Sara: Well what do you know?
Vance: I know this.
[hands her Hitch's business card]
Vance: All this for a lousy lay. Are we satisfied?
[knees Vance in the crotch]
Sara: [to Officer Hallet] I don't know about the Bulgarian, but I would not be surprised if he turned up in a ditch somewhere.
Patty: Sara, that is not true! She's not saying they murdered him, just that maybe they shook his hand, and then... he died. It's very mysterious.
Sara: Rudy, do you ever think about anything other than food?
Rudy Grimes: Wouldn't you like to know?
Freddie Harris: Fear is good. Fear is what gives us the feeling of being alive.
Sara: Fear makes me want to throw up.
Sara: Look, every time I let you two talk me into something I live to regret it.
Rudy Grimes: Listen, without me you would die of boredom.
Jenna Danzig: Us! Without us you would die of boredom.
Rudy Grimes: Whatever.
Sara: I don't want to be famous.
Freddie Harris: What do you mean you don't want to be famous? That's the American dream!
Sara: Aren't we supposed to be looking for answers?
Jim Morgan: All right, the devil made him do it. I'm done.
Sara: [to Derek , who has just exposed a deep secret] You better fucking chew on that fear, 'cuz it isn't going away until you swallow it.
Sara: And if I were to go?
Harris: All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power, I would turn the winds around, I would roll in the fog, I would bring in storms, I would change the polarity of the earth so compasses couldn't work, so your plane couldn't take off.
Harris: Ordinarily, I don't like to be around interesting people because it means I have to be interesting too.
Sara: Are you saying I'm interesting?
Harris: All I'm saying is that, when I'm around you, I find myself showing off, which is the idiot's version of being interesting.
Harris: [answering the telephone] Hello, this is Harris. I'm in right now, so you can talk to me personally. Please start talking at the sound of the beep.
Sara: Is this a person?
Harris: Yes, it is a person.
[Harris kisses Sara. ]
Sara: Oh no, I can't. This is how Mommy met Daddy.
Harris: Let your mind go and your body will follow.
Sara: Why didn't you tell me you had just broke up with someone?
Harris: How do you know I just broke up with someone?
Sara: Because when men just break up with someone, they always run around with someone much too young for them.
Harris: She's not so young. She'll be 27 in four years.
Roland: Sara just got off a plane from London.
Trudi: Oh, you must be exhausted.
Sara: Yes, I'm shattered, but it's nothing that some sleep and a good fuck wouldn't cure, as my sister used to say. Ha ha ha.
Roland: You'll have to forgive Sara.
Sara: Oh, it was just... it was just a figure of speech. I've been on a plane for twelve hours next to a crying baby.
Sara: Let your mind go and your body will follow.
Harris: You're on time.
Sara: Actually I'm late.
Harris: You're exactly on time.
Sara: But I had planned to be early.
Sara: What did you have in mind?
Harris: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A.
Sara: That's the first fifteen minutes, then what?
Harris: All right, a cynic. First stop is six blocks from here.
Sara: Why don't we walk?
Harris: Walk? A walk in L.A.?
Sara: Roland thinks L.A. is a place for the brain-dead. He says, if you turned off the sprinklers, it would turn into a desert. But I think - I don't know, it's not what I expected. It's a place where they've taken a desert and turned it into their dreams. I've seen a lot of L.A. and I think it's also a place of secrets: secret houses, secret lives, secret pleasures. And no one is looking to the outside for verification that what they're doing is all right. So what do you say, Roland?
Roland: I still say it's a place for the brain-dead.
Sara: I keep thinking I'm a grown up, but I'm not.
Harris: [Sara dodges cars while driving on the left] Right side... right side! Get on the right side!
Sara: I don't think he can hear you.
Sara: Forgive me if I get a little emotional, but this is the day every mother dreams of. The day she watches her only daughter put a lock on her bedroom door, to keep her husband out.
[talking to her mom on the phone and eating candy corn]
Sara: What are you eating?
Audrey: Are you crazy?
Sara: Yes, but I'm also your mother.
Daniel: Are you really 56?
Sara: Parts of me are.
Daniel: Do you mind if I use the kitchen?
Sara: He cooks? You didn't tell me he cooks.
Sara: Do you want him dead?
Sara: I mean socially.
Sara: Is this Rafferty guy cute?
Audrey: I didn't notice. Besides he's not your type. He's old enough to drive.
Sara: Would you like a cocktail?
Daniel: Oh, yes, please, only if it's an extremely large one.
Sara: You are so adorable when you're going for the kill.
Sara: Is it because you just don't understand the vagina? I'd be happy to draw you a chart.
Matt: Well hey, Sara.
Sara: Hey, Matt. Grogan's so funny.
Matt: Yeah. Hey, sounds to me like you like him.
Matt: Wow. You and Garbage Dick. That's great, I mean he was just saying that...
Sara: Wait, what did you say?
Matt: I was just saying how Garbage Dick told me how he thought you were...
Sara: Garbage Dick?
Matt: Yeah. Oh, no, no. It's no big deal. I mean, that was at least a year to two ago, anyway.
Sara: Wait, what does that mean?
Matt: Ah, I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, everyone wears condoms these days, right?
Sara: What are they doing?
David: They're dancing!
Melody: Are you... you?
Sara: I'm not sure. But I'm sure as shit not one of them.
Sara: It's like a bad horror movie!
Sara: 'Happiness is: being happy.'... What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?
Sara: When he didn't come to the office, 10:30, 11:00, I called the house. Catherine... he went in his sleep, peacefully. The doctor said if you'd been sleeping right next to him, you wouldn't have even known. You couldn't have done anything.
Sara: Oh my God. Jess told me that he's like way into Ella. Ugh. Can you say slut?
Lisa: [on video chat] I heard she gave him a blumpy.
Sara: Boys are disgusting. And that guy Nick? He's thinks he's all like, look at me, I'm so beautiful.
Lisa: I think he's kinda cute.
Sara: No. No. I mean he's kinda hot, but he's *not* God's gift. No.
Lisa: I heard he hooked up with Michelle.
Sara: *No* he did not.
Elliot Vincent: [mockingly] He totally did. Like for real.
Louis: She's not coming back, is she, Sarah?
Sara: She never was here. You were married to a dream. A dream that stole your soul. God must have been angry with you the day he let you look in that woman's face.
Sara: You know, he asked me to marry him.
Chaz: He's not the first...
Sara: No, but it was the first time I wanted to say "Yes".
Sara: Remember me.
Sara: You're my immortality Nelson.
Sara: What are you doing?
Nelson Moss: Buying redemption.
Sara: Redemption's not for sale today.
Nelson Moss: Why a month?
Sara: Because it's long enough to be meaningful, but short enough to stay out of trouble.
Chaz: Now, don't forget, dinner is at eight. It's dressy because we are going to eat and we are going dancing.
Chaz: We're gonna see if Last of the Mohicans here's got rhythm.
Sara: Nelson do you want to be my November.
Sara: What are you more afraid of: spending more than two consecutive nights with the same woman, or finding out this thing might not be as crazy as it seems?
Chaz: Did you change the beans or something?
Sara: Yep, it's hazelnut. You don't like it?
Chaz: Honestly, it tastes like camel piss. Lets stick to the classics in future.
Chaz: Three hours sleep last night. Took Valerian root, melatonin, the Shoping Channel. You know what did the trick in the end?
Chaz: Jimmy Cagney. Public Enemy. Violence is a tranquiliser. How twisted is that.
Chaz: I do believe that is my favourite sweatshirt I see.
Sara: Uh huh.
Chaz: You must be November.
Nelson Moss: I must be November?
Sara: That's Nelson.
Chaz: Hey Nelson, how are you? I'm Chaz.
Nelson Moss: Hey.
Chaz: You know what? Keep the sweatshirt. It looks better on you.
Nelson Moss: Is this some kind of uh, communal, culty, squeaky charlie type a deal?
Brandon: A little lovin' from the oven. Cous cous for everyone.
Sara: Wow. Did you make that?
Brandon: Uh huh.
Chaz: Excuse me. What did you just say?
Brandon: Well making, buying, it's all a very thin line.
Nelson Moss: Have you ever heard of Phalaenopsis Sunderiana? It reminded me of you.
Sara: You got the job, didn't you?
Nelson Moss: Best offer anyone ever made me.
Sara: So when do you start?
Nelson Moss: We had a little problem agreeing on that. He suggested immediately, I suggested... never.
Nelson Moss: Never.
Nelson Moss: What are you doing?
Sara: Taking your shirt off.
Nelson Moss: Why?
Sara: Because you smell like puppy pee.
Sara: So, besides your job, what else makes you miserable?
Sara: You live in a box. I could lift the lid, let some light in.
Nelson Moss: Wow, that's deep! I feel almost cured just hearing it.
Nelson Moss: Have you uh... ever considered a career in sales?
Sara: [laughs] No.
Nelson Moss: Well, you should. You're relentless.
Sara: You know Snook, you talk a lot of shit for someone who never says anything.
Sara: You know what? Derek and I like each other and if you have a problem with that, then screw you.
[after Sara and Nikki's fight]
Nikki: It ain't over, bitch.
Sara: I don't even know why it started, bitch.
Derek: "Stepps" ain't no square dance.
Sara: That's okay, I'll dance in circles, probably around you.
Chenille: You need to take off that 5th grade dance lookin' top.
Sara: It's from The Gap!
Chenille: It's country and you look country in it!
Sara: We spend more time defending our relationship than actually having one.
Derek: Do you get along with your dad? You tight and shit?
Sara: Yeah, we're "tight and shit"; our DNA matches.
Chenille: Who? Because in this crowd you're going to have to be a bit more specific.
Sara: There's only one world, Chenille.
Chenille: That's what they teach you. We know different.
Sara: Then you must be in the wrong spot because I'm pretty sure there aren't any Negroes here.
Sara: [sobbing] I just want someone there who loves me.
Roy Johnson: [looks up] I love you.
Derek: So was that a good night as in, "I'll bust a cap in your ass if you ever darken my doorstep again"?
Sara: No! No, I would never - um, bust a cap in your ass.
Sara: [when talking to her dad] It's not that I hate you, it's just that I miss her.
Sara: It's about me and him, not about us and other people.
Sara: So you're not down with the things he does, but you're still down with him? That makes perfect sense. I understand.
Derek: He's my friend, Sara. You don't have to understand.
Sara: Screw you, I'm brilliant and cool.
Derek: You're not quite there yet.
Chenille: I saw you workin' it out there tonight, girl!
Sara: Oh, yeah... slammin'!
Chenille: Ah-huh! Later!
Sara: A lot of people read them.
Derek: People like who? Like you?
Derek: Didn't think so.
Sara: I am such a dork!
Sara: We have an audience.
Sara: Miranda knows lots of things other people don't know. Secrets. She knew she wouldn't come back.
Sara: [to Minnie] She was afraid I'd run away, so she shaved my head. I bit her arm - it bled. So she painted my head with gentian violet.
Brink: The next time you want your pussy eaten out, you can just ask me! I like pussy!
Alicia: What the fuck?
Brink: Shut up! You want them to know? Really?
Alicia: What are you talking about?
Brink: Shut up! You came into my room and you rubbed your pussy in my face. Who told you to? Why did you do that?
Alicia: Get away from me! Sara!
Sara: Hey, baby!
Alicia: This freak grabbed me! He told me I rubbed my pussy in his face!
Brink: She did! She did!
Sara: Whatever! She didn't, man.
Brink: She did! I swear she did!
Sara: She did not, okay?
Brink: Okay, she didn't.
Sara: Fucking asshole!
Alicia: I didn't. I didn't!
Brink: She did.
Sara: Good-bye, father Isak. Can't you see you're the one I love? Today, tomorrow and forever
Isak Borg: I'll keep that in mind
Sara: [shoots Hollander] Was that a hit, Hollander?
Hollander: Don't drop
Sara: I won't
[overbalances him over a ledge and he falls to a messy demise]
Sara: I just... I don't really know you, I... I just feel connected to you, I feel... I feel safe with you. Like it's okay to be honest. It's just one of those things. I'm just attracted to you. And it's not just because I think you're incredibly sexy.
Sam: [laughs, exhales, scratches his head] I think that you're incredibly attractive too, Sara, I do.
Sara: You do?
Sam: Yeah, I think about you. Trust me. A lot.
Sara: How do you think about me?
Sara: Yeah. Do you think about me having sex with you?
Sam: How do I think about having sex with you?
Sara: Yeah. Do you think about me going down on you?
Sam: Yeah, that's... that's part of that.
Sara: Me too. I think about how you taste.
Sam: I'm sure you taste sweeter.
Sara: Do you resist me?
Sara: Do you give yourself over?
Sara: [exhales] That gets me on.
Sam: You're easy.
Sara: No. With you I am.
Sam: So I get to... I get to work on you for a while or do we just fall asleep?
Sara: You can work on me all night long.
Sara: [on the phone with Sam] I can't control my heart... I wouldn't want to, even if I could.
Sara: [riding in a car] I don't remember this.
Dave: It hasn't changed much. Look out for number 42.
Sara: You know Calabasas is full of fucking J.A.P.s and daddy's girls. I didn't exactly have the debutante thing goin' on. One day I saw her at McDonalds with the nose job crew. That was before I knew my place, so I sat down. My friend rolls her eyes and she says: 'What, you actually think you're good looking? 'Cause you walk around like you're all hot and you're really not.' Then the whole table started to laugh. And I cried for about three days and then I fuckin' resurrect, you know? I just realized that everyone I knew was fucking full of shit. And that's when I started doing whatever the fuck I wanted and not giving a flying fuck what people thought. So I don't really have any friends. I don't need any.
Tracy: We're friends.
Sara: [softly] Yeah.
Chad: That's gotta be the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my entire life!
Sara: Don't fucking call me stupid.
Chad: I didn't say you were stupid, butch, I said your opinion was stupid, because it is!
Sara: Wolverine has steel plates in his bones
Chad: [interrupting] So what?
Sara: And Batman has a little fucking belt and a little fucking cape. What the hell is he gonna do with that? Wolverine would take him down in 2 seconds.
Chad: Batman is so much smarter, and so much more of an intelligent fighter then like
Sara: [interrupting] What is he gonna do? Throw fucking razors?
Chad: he knows like 8 different types of martial arts, he's like a ninja...
Sara: Batman is fucking homo.
Chad: Batman is not a homo. Batman bangs the hottest chicks in Gotham city, left and right, okay? He's a PLAYER!
Ben: You used to get to calling these "The Ben".
Sara: [Not expecting Ben to bring up the past] Yeeeeeah, I'll think about it.
Seth: You and Ben...
Seth: ...used to date, right?
Sara: Is that what he told you? Yeah, we used to.
Seth: So, isn't that like weird seeing him again.
Sara: No, no. It's long time ago. We're friends.
Seth: Shh... that so weird to me because the way Haley makes me feel when I see her, I can't see that ever going away, you know...
Sara: [thinking about her relationship with Ben] Well it does.
[Looks up to Seth, realising that Seth misunderstood]
Sara: I did not mean you and Haley. I'm so sorry. No, I just meant, you know, as you get older, it's... it's a lot easier to control that stuff.
[Walks away but turns back]
Seth: But, even if you can control it; doesn't mean it's not there, right?
Sara: I, for one, I'm happy we got a second chance to sort things out.
Ben: [Raises his cup high] Me too.
[Clinks his cup with Sara's]
Sara: [Straightens up] Clink.
[Ben exhales amusedly]
Sara: Not all guys are as dumb and shallow as you.
Ben: Oh, but they are.
Sara: You know what's funny... when we were together, I used to picture this moment with you in it. And then we broke up and I just stopped envisioning it that way... I just removed you.
Ben: I never left.
[They share a kiss]
Ben: [talking about the mural] What'd you think her score is?
Sara: I don't think she cares.
Atum Vine: Just trying to prove a point. Relax. I saved your ass before. You should be thanking me.
Sara: You told him to KILL me.
Atum Vine: Yeah, well. He didn't, did he?
Sara: He will. I can't stop him. But you could. You have a gun.
Atum Vine: No, thanks.
Sara: Why not? Why won't you help me?
Atum Vine: Status quo, kid.
Sara: What's that?
Atum Vine: Hunger. Everybody's hungry for something. They can't control it and they can't ignore it. Sometimes you're the mouth and sometimes you're the meal. It's just the way it is.
Sara: My mother's just afraid of change.
Michael: Most people are, nowadays.
Sara: How long do you want to stay here?
Margaret: I don't know. Until your baby's born.
Sara: I'm not going back to the basement.
Margaret: That's our home.
Sara: No it's not. We're refugees, remember? Internally displaced persons.
Margaret: Sara, the world is not like your books and magazines. It's not like the stories I tell you, or Samuel's stories. You have to think about your safefy.
Sara: If you're right then we're just waiting to die.
Samuel: Uh-uh, one question a piece. My turn. That is how you two do this, correct? Each person in the room gets to ask one question, until everyone's motives are out in the open. Aren't you curious how I knew that?
Margaret: Is that your question?
Samuel: Is that yours?
Sara: How did you know that?
Sara: My mother says you're a foolish for trying to talk to that other man.
Sara: She says he's probably 100 miles away from here.
Michael: Once upon a time, 100 miles wasn't very far.
Sara: I'm going upstairs.
Doug: Are you tired?
Sara: Do you mind sleeping in the bottom bunk tonight?
Doug: Why, you wanna sleep in the top?
Doug: Sara, I think I'm in heaven.
Sara: I think I'm in love.
Samantha: Come on, Sara. Strip and dip.
Sara: Sam, I said no.
Samantha: Well then, I'm gonna go under and stay under until you do.
Sara: I don't know how you do it.
Samantha: I don't know how you don't.
Sara: I mean... you do it with everybody.
Samantha: Oh, I do not. I do it with Paul.
Samantha: Come on, Sara. I mean, you know how guys are. They lie about that all the time. They say that about everybody.
Sara: They don't say anything about me. I mean, I don't have...
Samantha: Ah ha ha... a reputation?
Sara: I didn't say that.
Samantha: Look, I got my reputation in the 6th grade.
Sara: What does Paul think?
Samantha: Paul thinks I'm great in bed, so that's where I keep him.
Sara: [from trailer]
Sara: My sister Jess and I, we are identical twins. Once something happens to the one of us, the other one could tell. It's hard to explain, but I can just feel it. She's in trouble, and she needs me.
Sara: [from trailer]
Sara: You're not real! You're not real! You're not real!
Sara: I don't know if this forest made you psycho or you were always this crazy.
Michi: [from trailer]
Michi: Do not stay after dark.
Sara: I'm not leaving without my sister.
Eddie: [Eddie and Sara are atop a tall tower] That was one kickass party!
Sara: Okay, but one more thing: how do we get down from here?
Sara: I'm trying to figure out who or what Melissa was taping when she disappeared.
Eddie: Right. Then where will we be?
Pritchett: Out of Scotch thanks to you, ass!
Eddie: That was the most fun I've had all day.
Sara: You need to get out more.
Sara: Is this house really haunted?
Pritchett: [near hysterics] It's uh, well, bleh... hah... yeah, it's pretty scary.
Eddie: I've never in my life met an executive who could tie their shoes, much less rewire an entire building.
Sara: There's always exceptions.
Eddie: No. Come on, what's the truth?
Sara: The truth is if we keep taking rights, we're going to have to end up where we started.
[the kids show up to pick up Rhonda from her decorated jack-o'-lantern home as she walks out]
Sara: This is weird.
Chip: [Chip points] Is that Rhonda the retard?
Macy: She's not a retard. She's an idiot savant.
Sara: Here she comes.
Macy: You're on Schrader.
[the rest of the kids walk ahead]
Schrader: Did you carve all of these yourself?
Rhonda: Yeah. Made my costume too. Like it?
Schrader: [smiles] I do. I'm Schrader.
Rhonda: [smiles] Rhonda.
[the response of the kids after Macy tells them the school bus massacre story]
Sara: You are so full of shit.
Macy: Really? Well, then I guess you won't mind being first.
Sara: First what?
Macy: Eight victim, eight jack-o'-lanterns, each one representing a lost soul. So we're going to leave them by the side of the lake as an offering to those who died.
[Steven Wilkens drags Charlie into the house when he gets some unexpected Trick or Treaters]
[the kids knock saying Trick or Treat!]
Chip: We know you're in there.
Sara: We can see you.
Steven: [the kids start pounding and ringing the door bell as Mr. Wilken's screams] Just a minute!
[Steven opens the door and the kids scream at his bloody chocolate covered shirt]
Steven: Wait. No, no. Shh, shh. No.
[the kids start laughing]
Chip: Uh, great costume, Mr. Wilkens.
Steven: [muttering] Oh, right, candy.
Macy: Uh, Principal Wilkens, do you think that we might be able to have your jack-o'-lantern, please?
Steven: You're not gonna smash it, are you?
Macy: No, it's a scavenger hunt, for UNICEF.
[Macy smiles then gets nervous]
Steven: Anything for a good cause.
[Chip notices the blood trail leading from Steven's porch into his home, Chip slowly looks up at him]
Steven: [whispers] Happy Halloween.
Chip: Yeah. Happy Halloween.
[Chip leaves and reveals Sam standing behind him]
Steven: [Steven jiggles the candy bowl at Sam] Did you get one?
[Sam quickly grabs a candy before walking down the porch steps, Sam drag his candy bag that let's out what sounds like a cat screaming when Steven closes the front door]
Sara: That bus is around here somewhere. I think it's over here.
Schrader: Over where? I can't see shit in this fog. Think I found a dead retard.
Macy: That's me asshole.
Schrader: Like I said.
Macy: Both of you shut up and keep looking.
Schrader: There's something moving by that rock.
Macy: I can't see.
Sara: Jesus, what is that?
Sara: Help me!
Macy: Sara! Where's Sara? Run!
Schrader: There's nowhere to go!
Chip: Up! I wanna go back up!
[the kids arrive at the location site of the old Halloween School Bus Massacre]
Schrader: Great, a rock quarry. Nice way to celebrate Halloween, Macy.
Chip: Why are we here?
Macy: To pay our respects to the dead.
Chip: What happened? Did somebody die here?
Sara: Wait. Is this where - ? It is isn't it? This is where that school...
Macy: Shut up, Sara.
Chip: The Halloween School Bus Massacre.
Macy: Just don't call it that.
Schrader: What's she talking about?
Sara: It's this awesome town legend. There's this bus full of...
Macy: Jesus, will you shut up and let me tell the damn story?
Rhonda: You said a bad word.
[Macy rolls her eyes at Rhonda before telling the story]
Macy: It happened 30 years ago on a late Halloween afternoon.
Macy: [begins narrating the flashback] A school bus was on its usual route. But this wasn't your typical school bus and they weren't your typical kids. There were eight of them and they were different. Troubled. Disturbed. Every day, parents put their dirty secrets on this bus to be driven to a school miles out of town.
[we see the kids each in their creepy Halloween masks and costumes]
Vampire Kid: [we see the vampire kid in his seat counting the addresses outside] 3260. 3264. 3266.
Macy: [continuing to narrate] But that day... the driver took a different route.
Vampire Kid: Wrong way. Wrong way. Wrong way.
Macy: And instead of taking the students home he drove the bus to an abandoned rock quarry. This rock quarry.
Macy: What the kids didn't know is that, over the years, their parents had become exhausted, and embarrassed. And they were willing to do anything to ease their burden. So one day, the parents approached the bus driver and made him an offer. With the money collected together, they asked him to do the unthinkable. It almost worked perfectly.
[the bus driver quiets the kids and begins to walk down the bus checking that each chained down kid is correct, passing them each a piece of candy]
Vampire Kid: [the vampire kid begins to try and slip out of his chains] Wrong way. Wrong way. Home. Home. I wanna go home. I wanna go home. Home.
Vampire Kid: [the vampire kid manages to get behind the steering wheel of the bus] Home. Home. Home. I wanna go home. Home.
[the bus drives forward off the rock quarry with the bus driver surviving]
Macy: [narrating] The driver was never heard from again. As for the bus, some say it sank so deep that it couldn't be found. Others say the town just didn't want it to be found. For all we know, it's still down there and so are those kids.
[silence as the kids look down into the rock quarry]
[the kids ring the door bell and in unison say trick or treat]
Mrs. Henderson: [screams and laughs looking very tipsy with a house party behind her] Aren't you guys adorable?
Macy: Thanks, Mrs. Henderson. That's a great costume.
Mrs. Henderson: I know.
[Mrs. Henderson gives them a spin in her kitty outfit]
Mrs. Henderson: Isn't it just purr-fect? You want a drink or something?
Mrs. Henderson: It'll be our little secret.
Sara: [smiles] Sure.
Macy: No, thanks. But, um...
Mrs. Henderson: All right, fine. I'll see what I got for you.
[Mrs. Henderson walks away leaving the door open]
Macy: Actually, Mrs. Henderson, we were sort of wondering if you might...
Coach Taylor: [the kids look in and see in the distance a couple in costume having sex] Oh yeah!
Macy: If you might...
Chip: [Chip raises his pirate eye patch] Holy shit.
Macy: ...Have a jack-o'-lantern... we could borrow.
Mrs. Henderson: [Mrs. Henderson returns with candy] Here you go. Now, be safe... and watch out for monsters.
[closes the door]
Sara: [talking along the street] I don't even know what that was.
Chip: Coach Taylor was in a hot-dog costume butt-fucking a pig. I think. And then...
Macy: Chip, let's just not.
Kenia: [Kenia has just walked in after Jenna finished having sex with Vincent and Sara with Bridget] You guys are a bunch of slut monkeys!
Vincent: Heard of knocking?
Kenia: Porter has already left. Kyle and Claire are probably waiting for us on the mountain. My car leaves in five minutes whether you guys wanna be in it or not.
Sara: Why don't you just relax and jump under the covers for a bit?
Kenia: I don't think Bridget would appreciate that very much.
Bridget: I don't really mind.
Vincent: I don't mind either.
Vincent: Just kidding.
Kenia: Five minutes, you rabbits.
Sara: Have you ever heard of the Three Sisters?
Carlo: You mean those black singers?
Sara: No, I'm talking about mythology.
Carlo: Hold on, if you're talking about spooks and stuff, I don't believe in any of that.
Sara: How can you be so sure?
Carlo: I don't believe in such things, that's all, and without any philosophical discussion.
Sara: Then what do you believe in?
Carlo: In whatever I can see and touch.
Sara: May I ask a strange question?
Mark Elliot: How strange?
Sara: I want you to close your eyes, and listen to the sound of my voice.
Sara: I don't want to disintegrate any graves.
Cal: Disintegrate. It's desecrate, ya idiot. It's a good thing you're hot.
Papaya: My name is Papaya.
Sara: Papaya? What a funny name!
Papaya: And what's your name?
Sara: Me? Sara!
Papaya: Oh! What a funny name!
Sara: It's ok to be fascinated by me, they always are.
Sara: You shouldn't sit on that wall. It's dirty and there's germs and you could get sick.
Christopher: Yeah, well, I wish I would get sick. I wish I would catch some horrible disease and *die*. My chest hurts. My heart feels like it's shrinking into a little raisin. A little raisinette.
Sara: Well, you *may* have a chance with Isabelle.
Christopher: What are you talking about? She dropped the flowers and then she said she wasn't interested...
Sara: Don't be a dummy. When a girl says she's *not* interested, it means she really *is* interested.
Christopher: Well, I mean, what should I do? I'll do anything. I mean I'll, I'll come to the school until I'm too old to walk. I'll, like, buy her a million flowers -
Sara: Woahhh, flowers are good, but there's a little issue with the boyfriend.
Christopher: [shrugs] I'll kill him.
Christopher: This is stupid. Who am I kiddin'?
Sara: What happened to coming to school every day until you were too old to walk?
Christopher: Sara, when I'm too old to walk, she'll have graduated. DUH!
Sara: You had passion! You followed your heart!
Christopher: Well, I'm using my head now.
Browse more character quotes from The Huntsman: Winter's War (2016)