Santa Claus Quotes in Trancers (1984)

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Santa Claus Quotes:

  • Santa Claus: [mouth closed; voice of Whistler] Welcome to the twentieth century, Jack Deth.

  • Santa Claus: This bell is a wonderful symbol of the spirit of Christmas - as am I. Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart.

  • Santa Claus: There's no greater gift than friendship.

  • Santa Claus: [holding up the silver sleigh bell] The first gift of Chrstmas!

  • Santa Claus: [voiceover, as the Hero Boy opens his package to reveal the lost sleigh bell] Found this on the seat of my sleigh. Better fix that hole in your pocket. Mr. C.

  • Santa Claus: Don't you know who I am?

    Joe: Sure, you're a nut.

    Santa Claus: I'm Santa Claus.

    Joe: Right, and I'm the tooth fairy.

  • Santa Claus: How can I do so much in just one night?

    Ancient Elf: Oh, yes, well know this: time travels with you. The night of the world is a passage of endless night for you, until your mission is done.

  • Santa Claus: You have folks saying that Santa Claus only rewards the good little boys and girls.

    Anya Claus: Isn't that how it should be?

    Santa Claus: All right. Dooley, make up a list of who is naughty and nice.

    Dooley: Yes, sir.

    Santa Claus: And be careful. I'll be checking it twice.

  • Joe: [after he gets his present from Santa] Did Cornie get anything?

    [pauses]

    Joe: The er... little girl.

    Santa Claus: Oh? Are you two seeing a lot of each other?

    Joe: Actually, yes.

    [blushes quite a lot]

    Joe: Actually.

  • Santa Claus: Next Christmas, you and I will have a date.

    Joe: Really?

    Santa Claus: Santa Claus never lies, Joe.

  • Anya Claus: [Dooley is reading Twas The Night Before Christmas] What is it?

    Santa Claus: It's a poem. A poem about me. They say it's a big hit.

    Dooley: He had a broad face, and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

    Santa Claus: What was that? That last part.

    Dooley: [reading with hesitation] He had a broad face.

    Santa Claus: Yes. Go on.

    Dooley: [continues reading with hesitation] And a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of...

    Santa Claus: Jelly.

    Dooley: It's... just a poem.

    Santa Claus: [upset] Is that how they think I look?

    Anya Claus: [struggling not to laugh] Well... The cookies.

    Patch: It's the cookies.

    [the other elves snicker]

  • Santa Claus: Patch gone? Where will he go? What will he do? The world is no place for an elf.

    Boog: The world's a nice enough place, isn't it?

    Honka: I mean, they send such nice letters from there! It must be!

  • Andy Henderson: What is this strange looking creature over here?

    Santa Claus: Oh, Winky made that. That's his idea of a Martian.

    Andy Henderson: A Martian? Wow-wee-wow! I'd hate to meet a creature like that on a dark night.

  • Santa Claus: Well, when Voldar "accidentally" left us in the airlock and then came up here and "accidentally" threw the door switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry or that would be the end of us. Eh, uh, "accidentally," of course.

  • Kimar: Santa, you will never return to Earth, you belong to Mars now.

    Santa Claus: Ho Ho, Hooo...

  • Santa Claus: Ho ho, we meet again, eh?

  • Kimar: How are you feeling today? Tired?

    Santa Claus: Oh, no, I'm not tired. But my finger is.

  • Santa Claus: Oh me, oh my, oh me!

  • [after being asked if he is going to use a rocket sleigh]

    Santa Claus: No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names.

  • Santa Claus: Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What's next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?

  • Kevin McCallister: Santa, hold on. Can I talk to you for a second?

    Santa Claus: Yes, but make it quick. Santa's got a little get together he's late for.

    Kevin McCallister: Okay. I know you're not the real Santa Claus.

    Santa Claus: [his beard is pulled down, revealing his real face] What makes you say that? Er, just out of curiosity.

  • Santa Claus: Gimme that watch!

    [Elroy's Rolex]

    Uncle Elroy: Oh, no. Not the Roley!

    Santa Claus: Now it's a Stoley. Gimme the watch! Looking like a Mississippi pimp. Bitch better have my sweet potatoes. Ho, ho, ho, Top Flight Security. Merry christmas motherfucker!

  • Craig Jones: [walks into kitchen to discover Burglar dressed as Santa Claus eating a sandwich]

    Craig Jones: What the hell you doing in my house; eating a big ass sandwich and shit?

    Santa Claus: Nigga, I'm Santa Claus; where the FUCK the milk and cookies?

  • Santa Claus: You remind me of them old players that hang out in the clubs wit da young girls.

    Uncle Elroy: You know, you remind me of a young nigga that's fuckin' with the wrong old nigga!

  • Santa Claus: [robbing Craig and Day-Day's refrigerator] Damn, these niggas are broke. Got no Christmas ham in here...

  • Craig Jones: [getting robbed] I ain't got nothin' but twenty funky-ass dollars.

    Santa Claus: Oughta shoot yo broke ass.

  • Santa Claus: [taking Day Day's baby picture] That's a ugly-ass baby. Eyes cocked like a pistol.

  • Santa Claus: If Higbee thinks I'm working one minute past 9:00, he can kiss my foot. Ho ho ho.

  • [Ralphie is visiting Santa at the department store, only he can't remember what he wanted]

    Santa Claus: How about a nice football?

    Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Football? Football? What's a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out 'football'.

    Santa Claus: Okay, get him out of here.

    Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] A football? Oh no, what was I doing? Wake up, Stupid! Wake up!

    Ralphie: [Ralphie is shoved down the slide, but he stops himself and climbs back up] No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!

    Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

    Santa Claus: [Santa pushes Ralphie down the slide with his boot] Merry Christmas. Ho! Ho! Ho!

    Ralphie: No-o-o-o!

  • Santa Claus: [to the next kid in line] Come on up on Santa's lap.

    [Kid sits]

    Santa Claus: Ahhh, here's a wet one. And what's your name little boy?

    Billy: Billy

    Santa Claus: And what do you want for Christmas, Billy? A toy truck?

    Santa Claus: [Billy starts crying] Get him off my lap and get my a towel.

    [Billy is pushed down the slide]

    Santa Claus: Oh, I hate the smell of tapioca.

  • Head Elf: COME ON, KID!

    [pulls Ralphie]

    Head Elf: COME ON!

    Santa Claus: HO! HO HO!

    [spins Ralphie around]

    Santa Claus: HOOOO... HOOO... HOO... And what's your name little boy?

    Male Elf: Hey, kid! HURRY UP! THE STORE'S CLOSING!

    Head Elf: Listen little boy, we have A LOT of people waiting here, so GET GOING!

  • Santa Claus: It's Lee Majors! The Six Million Dollar Man!

    Lee Majors: Santa, is there a back way outta this place?

    Santa Claus: Of course there is Lee, but this is one Santa who's going out the front door.

    Lee Majors: Look, it don't matter a hill of beans what happens to me but the world couldn't afford it if anything happened to you. Now stay put.

    Santa Claus: Oh that's very nice of you, Lee. And Lee... You've been a real good boy this year!

    Mrs. Claus: Yes you sure have!

  • Nicholas Yuleson: The clock just struck midnight at the pole. Christmas is officially over for you, Santa!

    Santa Claus: You know, most people make the same mistake. The correct time at the pole is completely discretionary, because the poles are where all the time zones actually converge.

    Mary "Mac" Mackenzie: He's scary, yet educational.

  • Santa Claus: I'm Santa Claus, not fuckin' Dracula!

  • Santa Claus: [while reading a copy of the book 'A Christmas Carol' in the school library] Boy, Christmas can sure scare the Dickens out of people.

  • Virginia Mason: Santa?

    [laughs nervously]

    Santa Claus: Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus!

  • [entering the strip club]

    Santa Claus: Ho, ho...

    [oogles topless waitress as she walks past him]

    Santa Claus: [lustily] HOES...

  • Santa Claus: I see you have met my helldeer

    Pastor Timmons: What in god's name are you doing?

    Santa Claus: Why I'm just trying to spread a little yuletide FEAR!

  • Pastor Timmons: Honey I had the most terrible nightmare.

    Santa Claus: Visions of sugarplums?

    [Santa hits Pastor over the head with a mallet]

  • Santa Claus: Looks like Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.

  • Santa Claus: [smirking while he's reading his list] Who's next?

  • Santa Claus: Christmas is over when I say it's over!

  • The Toy Maker: [showing off one of the toy soldiers built for Santa's order] Isn't it wonderful? It does everything but talk.

    Santa Claus: Wonderful, yes. But not what I ordered.

    The Toy Maker: What do you mean?

    Santa Claus: I ordered 600 soldiers at 1 foot high.

    The Toy Maker: What?

    [turning to Stannie Dum]

    The Toy Maker: You took that order. What was it?

    Stannie Dum: I thought you said 100 soldiers at 6 foot high.

    Santa Claus: [laughing] You've got the order all wrong! I couldn't get those thing to my children to play with.

    [laughing continues]

    The Toy Maker: Put it back in the box and get out of here! You're through!

  • Pedro: Don't forget that you've got to return to the castle ahead of the sunrise because the sun will turn the reindeer into dust.

    Santa Claus: Ho ho ho, no siree, no! I'll be here all right. In that case, I couldn't get back to the castle, and on what they use for food I'd perish! Because here our main food is pastries and ice cream made of soft clouds, and on the earth there's no such thing.

    Pedro: What food do they eat on Earth, Santa Claus?

    Santa Claus: Oh, everything in sight! They eat most of the animals, the plants, the flowers, the roots, birds, even smoke and alcohol!

  • Santa Claus: Oh! Darn that Devil Pitch! Why, if I were on Earth right now, I'd put him in his place! But even he knows I can only return to Earth one night a year.

  • Santa Claus: What would you like for Christmas?

    Little girl on his lap: My own credit card.

  • Sam Whipple: Wait a minute! If you are Santa, what are you doing here? You're early!

    Santa Claus: Christmas is not coming this year.

  • Santa Claus: I don't think you've ever cared about anybody, ever.

    Anna MacLaren: I care!

  • Santa Claus: I think I'd better my coat on, very quickly. Can't let anybody see Santa Claus without his coat. Just put this belt on, quickly as you can, and, uh, see what's going on.

  • Santa Claus: What is that? What is that I hear? Where's it coming from? I hear a siren, but I don't see any fire, I don't see any smoke. Whenever there's a siren, it means there's a fire, but I don't see any smoke. That siren. Where is it coming from? Where's that sound coming from?

Browse more character quotes from Trancers (1984)

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