Sam White Quotes in Dear White People (2014)

Professor Bodkin: ...Might I also remind you that I read your entire fifteen-page unsolicited treatise on why the Gremlins is actually about suburban white fear of black culture.

Sam White: The Gremlins are loud, talk in slang, are addicted to fried chicken and freak out when you get their hair wet.

Dean Fairbanks: Your show is racist.

Sam White: Black people can't be racist. Prejudice, yes, but not racist. Racism describes a system of disadvantage based on race. Black people can't be racist since we don't stand to benefit from such a system.

Sam White: Dear white people, the minimum requirement of black friends needed to not seem racist has just been raised to two. Sorry, but your weed man, Tyrone, does not count.

Gabe: [Gabe and Sam are locked in Sam's room arguing] I'm sorry if I can't be your Nubian Prince on my black horse ready to take you back to fucking Zamunda.

Sam White: That's not a real African country.

Gabe: Can I at least get a little credit for a solid 'Coming to America' reference? This isn't you Sam.

Sam White: No? And who am I?

Gabe: You're this girl...

Sam White: Perceptive...

Gabe: Who likes to argue with me about *every fucking thing.* And I hate it because we both know you're smarter than me. Your favorite director is Bergman. But you tell everyone it's Spike Lee. You love bebop but you've got a thing for Taylor Swift. And I know because my Mac picks up your Mac's library.

Sam White: I was so careful...

Gabe: You like to watch me when you think I'm sleeping and trace the outlines of my face. You're more Banksy than Barack. But you've been co-opted as some sort of revolutionary leader or something. But really, you're an anarchist. A shit-starter. A beautiful filmmaker. And beautiful in general.

Gabe: So, Sam, how would you feel if someone started a "Dear Black People"?

Sam White: No need. Mass media from Fox News to reality TV on VH1 makes it clear what white people think of us.

Troy Fairbanks: Do you seriously think you can win?

Sam White: Troy, we live in a world where there's a Big Momma's House *3*. I don't think I have a chance in hell.

Sam White: Dear white people, this just in: Dating a black person to piss off your parents is a form of racism.

Sam White: Dear white people, please stop touching my hair. Does this look like a petting zoo to you?

Sam White: You're trying to frighten me, but I think you're the one who's scared.

President Fletcher: And I think you long for days when blacks were hanging from trees and denied actual rights that way you'd have something to actually fight against.

Sam White: So what do you want me to do? Go over and yell at them?

Lionel Higgins: Have you heard you yelling?

Gabe: I'm trying to be here for you!

Sam White: Can you be somewhere *else* for me?

Sam White: [to Gabe] You're more Banksy than Barack.