Sam Weber Quotes in The Big Chill (1983)


Sam Weber Quotes:

  • Michael: I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.

    Sam Weber: Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex.

    Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

  • Sam Weber: [Sam enters a room where Nick is up late watching TV] What's this?

    Nick: I'm not sure.

    Sam Weber: What's it about?

    Nick: I don't know.

    Sam Weber: [Sam shakes his head, pats Nick on the shoulder, then sits in a nearby chair] Who's that?

    Nick: I think the guy in the hat did something terrible.

    [shot of TV shows a man being thrown through the glass window of a door; all the people on the TV screen are wearing hats]

    Sam Weber: Like what?

    Nick: You're so analytical! Sometimes you just have to let art... flow... over you.

    [Sam rolls his eyes]

  • Harold: I always thought masturbation was the ultimate act of self-absorption.

    Sam Weber: Do you jerk off?

    Harold: Does a bear have fleas?

    Sam Weber: No, no, "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

    Harold: Does a bear jerk off?

    Nick: You know, I shit in the woods, but I can't jerk off.

  • Sam Weber: Do you think we're all trying trying to avoid dealing with Alex? You know, every time it comes up somebody changes the subject.

    Nick: Hey, it's a dead subject.

  • Sam Weber: Hey, Nick? You know, we go back a long way, and I'm not gonna piss that away 'cause you're higher than a kite.

    Nick: Wrong, a long time ago we knew each other for a short period of time; you don't know anything about me. It was easy back then. No one had a cushier berth than we did. It's not surprising our friendship could survive that. It's only out there in the real world that it gets tough.

  • Autograph Seeker: Are you J. T. Lancer?

    Sam Weber: No, that's just a character I play. I'm Sam Weber.

    Autograph Seeker: Well, can I have your autograph, whoever you are?

    Sam Weber: Don't you think we ought to be thinking about Alex?

    Autograph Seeker: I'll give you a buck.

    Sam Weber: Okay, you're on.

    [Karen laughs]

  • Sam Weber: In Hollywood, I don't know who to trust. I don't know who likes me or why they even do like me.

    Harold Cooper: Well you don't have that problem here.

    [Sam smiles]

    Harold Cooper: You know I don't like you.

    Michael: Me neither.

    Meg: Ditto.

    [Gets up and leaves the room]

    Harold Cooper: So relax.

    Sam Weber: [Rolls over on the floor, on his back, and pulls off one of his boots] Assholes.

  • Sam Weber: So how's your life?

    Karen: Oh, great. How's yours?

    Sam Weber: Not so great.

    Karen: Ohhh, we're telling the truth.

  • Sam Weber: I'm hungry. I had this really dirty dream.

    Nick: Was it about Karen?

    Sam Weber: Why do you say that?

    Nick: Why should anything have changed?

    Sam Weber: You're the one she always wanted.

    Nick: In the old days, I wasn't emotionally equipped to satisfy her. Now, as we all know, the equipment doesn't work at all.

    Sam Weber: [wincing] Why do we have to talk about that?

  • Sam Weber: You know, Karen, if we had gotten married, we'd be going shopping like this.

    Karen: No, if we had gotten married I'd be doing this alone.

  • Nick: [in a high-pitched voice] Hey. everyone, it's J.T. Lancer! Let's all go watch this incredible show!

    Sarah: Woo hoo!

    [everyone runs into the living room]

    Karen: Come on, Sam.

    Sam Weber: [lagging behind] Jesus!

  • Nick: That's a crock of shit! We're afraid just the opposite is true. Alex died for most of us a long time ago.

    Sam Weber: I think you're a crock of shit. Don't speak for me or anybody else here. You hate your life. That's your problem. Don't tell us how we feel, okay?

    Nick: That's it. That's all I'm saying.If I hate my life, it's my problem. Too bad you weren't around to comfort Alex as compassionately.

  • Karen: How about you Michael? So tell us about the world of big time journalism.

    Sam Weber: Yeah.

    Michael: Well iwhere I work we only have one editorial rule. You can't write anything longer than it takes your average person to take an average crap.

    [everyone laughs]

    Michael: I'm getting tired of everything I write being read in the can.

    Harold: You can read Dostoyevsky in the can.

    Michael: Yes, but they can't finish it.

  • Sam Weber: You alright?

    Chloe: Yeah. I'm a little disappointed though, I wanted to ride up there. I always wanted to ride in a limo.

    [Michael and Sam exchange a look]

    Michael: I do half my work in limos.

    Chloe: Are you a chauffeur?

    Michael: No I'm a journalist.

    [Sam starts to laugh]

    Michael: I write for People Magazine.

    [Looks at Sam]

    Michael: I can't believe you're still mad about that thing.

    Sam Weber: Michael this isn't the time. Let's just drop it.

    Michael: I will if you will. You know at this day most of all we should remember we're friends.

    Sam Weber: Alright, alright.

    Chloe: And you're an actor?

    Sam Weber: Mm-hm.

    [Michael starts to laugh]

  • Michael: [Dialogue in video being watched by several characters] Nobody thinks they're a bad person. I'm not even claiming that people always think they're doing the right thing; they may know that they're doing something dishonest or insensitive or manipulative but they almost always think that there's a good reason for doing it. They almost always think it will turn out for the best in the end, even if it just turns out best for them, because by definition what's best for them is what's best. In addition, you instantly come up against the question of style. My style may be too direct, perhaps given my style I seem more nakedly opportunistic or jerky or... what was the other thing?

    Sam Weber: Manipulative?

    Michael: Whatever, really all that's happening is I'm trying to get what I want. Which is what everybody does, it's just that some of their styles are so warm or charming or sincere or otherwise phony that you don't realize they're just trying to get what they want. So you see, my transparent efforts are in a way much more honest and admirable.

    Sam Weber: Why is it what you just said strikes me as a massive rationalization?

    Michael: Don't knock rationalization; where would we be without it? I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.

    Sam Weber: Oh come on, nothing's more important that sex.

    Michael: Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

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Characters on The Big Chill (1983)