Sam, The Fun Police Quotes in Club Dread (2004)

Coconut Pete: I thought it was time to bring in the pro.

Sam, The Fun Police: Hank?

Coconut Pete: Yes, Hank. The head of security on all my tours.

Jenny: So, what? He keeps aging hippies from stealing the bong out of your tour bus?

Coconut Pete: It just so happens Hank used to be a federal agent. Yes, that's right. Headed a FBI task force on serial killers. Single-handedly caught the Minneapolis Mangler.

Lars: Who's the Minneapolis Mangler?

Hank: Exactly.

Dave: Pete, you are aware that I've personally served this guy twenty beers a day for the last ten years, right?

Hank: [shows a nasty scar on his side] Hey, I was in Nicaragua, junior! When you can stuff your intestines back in your pockets and walk twenty clicks to an aid station after a knife fight with guerilla drug lords, then you talk to me!

Sam, The Fun Police: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Coconut Pete's Pleasure Island. You have the right to fun. If you choose not to have fun, fun will be provided for you.