Sam Emerson Quotes in The Lost Boys (1987)

Sam Emerson: Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out, buddy!

Sam Emerson: Death by stereo!

Alan Frog: We don't ride with vampires.

Sam Emerson: Fine, stay here.

Edgar Frog: [Looks around, clearly scared] We do now.

Alan Frog: Yeah.

Sam Emerson: Wait, wait. You *have* a TV?

Grandpa: No. I just like to read the TV Guide. Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.

Max: Don't ever invite a vampire into your house, you silly boy. It renders you powerless.

Sam Emerson: Did you know that?

Edgar Frog: Of course. Everyone knows that.

Sam Emerson: [about Star] It's that girl from the boardwalk. Is she one of them?

[Star floats up]

Sam Emerson: She's one of them! And don't tell me it doesn't make her a bad person, Mike.

Edgar Frog: Listen, just so you know, if you try to stop us, or vamp out in any way, I'll stake you without even thinking twice about it!

Sam Emerson: Chill out, Edgar.

Edgar Frog: [coming to his senses] Right.

Sam Emerson: Don't kill me, Mike. I'm basically a good kid.

Edgar Frog: [the Frog Brothers walk in the room, carrying loads of stakes. To Sam] Okay, where's Nosferatu?

Sam Emerson: Who?

Edgar Frog: The prince of darkness.

Alan Frog: The night crawler. The bloodsucker.

Edgar Frog: El Vampiro.

Sam Emerson: Mike! They're here!

Grandpa: Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave?

Sam Emerson: How about some Windex, Grandpa?

Grandpa: Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that.

Michael Emerson: You have a big date tonight, Grandpa?

Grandpa: I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson.

Michael Emerson: What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?

[about Grandpa]

Michael Emerson: Looks like he's dead!

Sam Emerson: If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?

Sam Emerson: You're a vampire! I knew it!

Michael Emerson: I am not!

Sam Emerson: So what are you? The Flying Nun?

Sam Emerson: [bursts into the video store where his mom is working] Mom, listen, I gotta tell you something - it's real important. Shh! Santa Carla is crawling with vampires.

Lucy Emerson: [to customers] Um, excuse me...

Sam Emerson: Mom, I'm serious! Listen, Edgar staked one, it was screaming and fizzing. Look, Mom, there's evidence on my sweater.

Sam Emerson: So where're we going?

Michael Emerson: Nowhere.

Sam Emerson: So what's the rush? You're chasing that girl aren't you? Come on, admit it. I'm at the mercy of your sex glands, bud.

Sam Emerson: Got a problem, guys?

Edgar Frog: Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.

Sam Emerson: Pretty cool, huh?

Alan Frog: For a fashion victim.

Edgar Frog: You did the right thing by calling us. Does your brother sleep a lot?

Sam Emerson: Yeah, all day.

Alan Frog: Does the sunlight freak him out?

Sam Emerson: Uh, he wears sunglasses in the house.

Edgar Frog: Bad breath, long fingernails?

Sam Emerson: Yeah, his fingernails are a little bit longer, um, he always had bad breath, though.

Alan Frog: He's a vampire all right.

Edgar Frog: All right, here's what you do: get yourself a good sharp stake and drive it right through his heart.

Sam Emerson: I can't do that; he's my brother.

Alan Frog: OK, we'll come over and do it for you.

Sam Emerson: No!

Edgar Frog: You'd better get yourself a garlic T-shirt, buddy, or it's your funeral.

Sam Emerson: And then his dog started chasing my mom like the hounds of hell in "Vampires Everywhere."

Edgar Frog: We've been aware there's some very serious vampire activity in this town for some time.

Alan Frog: Santa Carla's become a haven for the undead.

Edgar Frog: As a matter of fact, we're almost certain ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at city hall.

Alan Frog: Kill your brother, you'll feel better.

Sam Emerson: Guys, we're on our own.

Edgar Frog: Good, just the way we like it.

Alan Frog: Notice anything unusual about Santa Carla yet?

Sam Emerson: No, it's actually a pretty cool place... if you're a Martian!

Edgar Frog: Or, a vampire!

Sam Emerson: You guys sniffin' on newsprint or somethin'?

Sam Emerson: There's no TV! Have you seen a TV, Mike? I haven't seen a TV. Do you know what it means when there's no TV? - No MTV!

Sam Emerson: Are you freebasing, Michael? Inquiring minds want to know.

Alan Frog: There's our number on the back. And pray you never need to call us.

Sam Emerson: I'll pray I never need to call you.

Lucy Emerson: You got carried away by a comic book?

Sam Emerson: It was a scary comic, mom. I'm sorry.

Sam Emerson: What's that smell?

Edgar Frog: Vampires, my friend, vampires.

Edgar Frog: Are you OK?

Sam Emerson: I nailed one of them downstairs with a bow and arrow.

Alan Frog: All right, Sambo!

Edgar Frog: We trashed the one that looks like Twisted Sister.

Alan Frog: Totally annihilated his night-stalking ass!

Edgar Frog: Well, Nanook helped a little.

Alan Frog: Death to all vampires!

Edgar Frog: Maximum body count!

Edgar Frog: We're awesome monster bashers!

Alan Frog: The meanest!

Edgar Frog: The baddest!

Edgar Frog: You think you really know what's happening here, don't you? Well, I'll tell you something, you don't know shit, buddy.

Alan Frog: Yeah? You think we just work at a comic book store for our folks, huh?

Sam Emerson: Actually, I thought it was a bakery.

Edgar Frog: This is just a cover; we're dedicated to a higher purpose. We're fighters for truth, justice, and the American way.

Edgar Frog: Come on Sam, let's get out of here. Burn rubber!

[the car accelerates, almost driving over a cliff]

Edgar Frog: Christ!

Sam Emerson: Burn rubber does not mean warp speed!

Michael Emerson: Look, this isn't a comic book, Sam, these guys are brutal killers.

Sam Emerson: So are the Frog brothers!

Max: [reaches for Lucy's hand while strangling Sam] Don't fight, Lucy. It's so much better if you don't fight.

Sam Emerson: Mom! Mom, no! Don't do it, Mom! Mom, don't do it!

Lucy Emerson: Sam...

Sam Emerson: Mom, no!

[Lucy reluctantly decides to abandon her humanity by taking Max's hand]

Sam Emerson: Mom, no!

Lucy Emerson: Sam!

[Max attempts to bite her]

Sam Emerson: I bet you hate garlic, dontcha!

Max: No, I like garlic! It's just a little much! It's raw garlic.

Sam Emerson: [yelling out the window to Star] Don't kill anyone until we get back to you!

Alan Frog: First come, first staked.

Sam Emerson: What was that? A little vampire humor? Well, it wasn't funny!

Dwayne: [standing up after almost getting hit by bow and arrow] You missed, sucker!

Sam Emerson: Only once, pal.

Michael Emerson: [Sam comes out of the bathroom, Michael's hand is cut up, and bloody] Nanook.

Sam Emerson: What about Nanook? What'd you do to my dog, you asshole?

Sam Emerson: [Sam gets in bed with her] Have you been eating pizza?

Sam Emerson: No. Why?

Lucy Emerson: Phew. You smell like garlic.

[Sam opens his robe, he is wearing a garlic necklace]