Sailor Quotes in Koroshiya 1 (2001)

Ichi: From now on, I'll beat you up.

Sailor: You will?

Ichi: Yes.

[Kaneko smiles]

[seeing the Vasier's mask]

Sailor: I've heard of gold going to a man's head, but this!

Sailor: Boy, you just bought the whole can of whup-ass!

Sailor: You don't ever quit, boy. Not when it's for real!

Sailor: Boy, you usin' that oriental martial bullshit on me's gonna get real expensive.

Sailor: Man, I'm so far beyond that shit now. I get energy from the air. I talk to polar bears. I converse with paramecium. Man, I fuck nuclear waste.

Charts: [Wondering if Scott is a Viet Nam vet] So, uh, how long were you there?

Kevin Scott: I wasn't. Too young.

Johnson: [Looking a little skeptical] Is he goin' with us?

Col. Cal Rhodes: He served with 4th Recon Marines.

Johnson: "Served"?

Kevin Scott: I was discharged for striking a radio operator who fell asleep at his post.

Kevin Scott: [the other men look a little askance at him, but he continues] You're worried that I have no combat experience. You're right. There's no way of proving that I won't fail in combat. But then again, you can't prove that I will, either.

Sailor: [Grinning mischievously at Scott] This is gonna' be a whole lotta' fun with this one.

Kevin Scott: [During night training, Sailor sprays gunfire indiscriminately at cardboard targets] Congratulations, Sailor, you just killed a prisoner.

Sailor: [scoffs] He's a collaborator!

Col. Cal Rhodes: [talking to Sailor in the prison exercise yard] You know, I had a heck of a time tracking you down. You, uh, wandered around all over the United States. I know a lot about you: Frank used to mention you in his letters. He said you were the best man in the unit.

Sailor: Yeah?

Col. Cal Rhodes: What the hell happened to you?

Sailor: Man, I'm so far beyond that shit now... I get energy from the air! I talk to polar bears. I converse with paramecium. Man, I fuck nuclear waste! Shit...

Sailor: You guys are gonna' be using real grenades and stuff, man. You know, they took mine when I got in here.

Col. Cal Rhodes: Hey, look, asshole. This isn't some kind of a bullshit biker's acid trip. This is a precise military operation.

Sailor: Hey, listen. Frank was the best man in anybody's unit. I got enough brain cells to remember that... You gotta' give me a shot, man. You gotta'.

Sailor: Hey, master Wilkes, how ya' been?

Wilkes: What happened to your grenade?

Sailor: I had to use that for an emergency enema!

Sailor: [calling from the top of the wall] Hey, look out, it's Kong! Kong's comin'!

Thor Heyerdahl: [Taking with two sailors in a bar, showing them a drawn about a raft] A dozen logs or so, big balsa wood logs, and a hut for five crew. All very capable, of course. The mast, the rudder, there you go: the Kon-Tiki.

Sailor: [angry] I spent 22 days on a raft. We have torpedoed. North Atlantic, winter of '43. You can't sail it or steer it. All you can do is sit there and wait to die. These logs... they are going to move against each other in the waves and eventually they are going to break the lashings. And you will each be sitting on a log floating your separate ways at the mercy of the elements.

Thor Heyerdahl: [ashamed] Thank you for your time.

Sinbad: A sword at my throat

[pause]

Sinbad: at my chest

[pause]

Sinbad: at my

[points towards his groin]

Sinbad: [quick cut to sailor]

Sailor: Pickles and eggs.

[after hooking onto the fish and everyone is seasick]

Sailors: No Spike... Don't...

[Spike vomits]

Sailor: Who gave *him* carrots?

[from trailer]

Pirate Captain: Avast! I'm a pirate captain, and I'm here for your gold!

Sailor: Gold? Afraid we don't have any gold, old man. This is a leper boat.

[his arm falls off]

Sailor: See?

Fozzie: There was this sailor who was so fat!

Sailor: How fat was he?

Sailor: [breaks bottle and points it towards him threateningly]

Fozzie: [Nervously] Uh, he was so fat that everybody liked him and there was nothing funny about him at all.

Sailor: Pills, do you think prayers do any good?

Pills: Yes, they do. I *know* they do.

Boatswain: This voyage is accursed.

Sailor: It's the work of the devil.

Boatswain: It's the devil himself.

Scottish Captain: Devil or witch, or whatever you are, you may have the wind on me now, but you'll not scuttle my ship!

Young Women at Bar: [in a scene being filmed at Capitol Pictures, a bar full of sailors is closing for the night, and the young women are going home] So long, fellas. See ya in eight months.

Bartender: Eight months?

Sailor: Yeah, we're shippin' out in the morning.

Sailor: Golly, eight months without a dame.

Burt Gurney (as Sailor in Bar Scene): Can you beat it?

Bartender: You're gonna have to beat it!

Sailor: Did I ever tell ya that this here jacket represents a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom?

Lula: About fifty thousand times.

Idiot Punk: You look like a clown in that stupid jacket.

Sailor: This is a snakeskin jacket! And for me it's a symbol of my individuality, and my belief... in personal freedom.

Idiot Punk: Asshole.

Sailor: C'mere.

Lula: That Johnnie is one clever detective. You know how clever?

Sailor: How clever?

Lula: He told me once he could find an honest man in Washington.

Sailor: Man, I had a boner with a capital "O".

Sailor: I'd like to apologize to you gentlemen for referring to you all as homosexuals. You taught me a valuable lesson in life.

Lula: When'd you start smoking, Sail?

Sailor: I guess I started smoking when I was about... four. My momma was already dead then from lung cancer.

Sailor: She turns over, peels off them orange pants, spreads her legs real wide and says to me..."Take a bite of Peach."

Sailor: Stab it and steer.

Sailor: Rockin' good news.

Sailor: Those toenails dry yet, sweetheart? We got some dancin' to do.

Bob Ray Lemon: Marietta tells me you been tryin to fuck her in the toilet for the past ten minutes... How 'bout that, tryin to fuck your girl's mama... Tell me, what's that little cunt Lula think about that?

Sailor: Uh-oh.

Lula: One of these days the sun's gonna come up and burn a hole clean through the planet like a giant electrical x-ray.

Sailor: I wouldn't worry about that, Peanut. By then people'll prob'ly be drivin Buicks to the moon.

Marietta Fortune: [stumbling into men's room with a martini] Yoo-hoo! Sailor boy! How would you like to fuck Lula's momma?

Sailor: Uh, no ma'am, I sure don't...

Marietta Fortune: Lula's momma would like to fuck you. Come on.

Sailor: Ms. Fortune, I really think you need a cup of coffee. I really do.

Sailor: [to Lula] The way your head works is God's own private mystery.

Bobby Peru: Say cheese!

[Shoots bank employee]

Sailor: Cool it man!

Bobby Peru: You're next... fucker!

[Sailor's gun doesn't fire]

Bobby Peru: Those are... dummies... dummy!

Sailor: [Sailor talking about Lula's Cousin Dell] Too bad he couldn't visit that old Wizard of Oz, and get some good advice.

Lula: Too bad we all can't baby.

Sailor: That ain't never will happen, baby. Least not in our lifetime.

Sailor: Why don't you be reasonable?

Working Girl #2: Oh, shut up.

Sailor: Oh, come on, Sweetheart. I ain't like most sailors.

Working Girl #2: Then, I ain't interested.

[Walks away]

Sailor: [Ensign Pulver is smuggling liquor aboard in a case marked "Brassieres"] Are bras that heavy, Mister Pulver?

Ens. Frank Pulver: Only when they're full.

Sailor: Pops ain't gonna be around long; his 'elevens' are up.

Goddard Bolt: What?

Sailor: His elevens! Look at the back of his neck. You see them two cords, stickin' out? They make, like, an 'eleven'. Once they're up that's it. He's a goner.

Fumes: Maybe he'll come back in the world as somethin' better. Personally, when I die, I'd like to come back as a bird.

Sailor: Why?

Fumes: Ohhh, because man, I could fly free, and easy, and if I saw someone I really didn't care for, I'd drop a hot one on 'em!

Sailor: When I die, I want to be 'excramated' and I want my ashes sprinkled in the old briny. At least I'd be part of the sea forever, and ever.

Fumes: Oh, that's beautiful, man, beautiful. Like when I die, I want to go just like my daddy, boom! Peaceful, in his sleep.

Sailor: Yeah, they told me my grandmother died peacefully in her sleep. It's a good way to go.

Molly: Nobody dies peacefully, in their sleep! It's what they tell people, to make them feel good. Want to know how people really die, in their sleep?

[Sailor looks uneasy, not sure he wants to know]

Molly: Okay. First, they go to bed.

[imitates drawing up bed sheets to her neck and getting cozied in]

Molly: Ahhhhh, mmm... Then, about two in the morning, they go...

[sits up, gasps, pretends to choke]

Molly: Ahhh! Oh! Get a doct...

[everyone in the mission is watching her, in shock]

Molly: [she gasps, holds her throat, and falls to the floor]

Fumes: I ain't never goin' to sleep again!

Janis Zuckerman: Have you ever made love to a woman until she lost consciousness?

Sailor: Twice. No, four... four times.

Sailor: [chasing Hala to have sex] Your house? Are you crazy? Where are your parents?

Hala: My father's at work.

Sailor: And your mother?

Hala: She's dead.

Jadzia Pzoniak: [awakens and walks to outside door where Hala and sailor are] Hala?

Sailor: I thought you said your mother was dead?

Hala: She was.

[laughs evilly]

[Powell has just discovered that Eddington has flown off on a suicide mission]

Commander Egan Powell: You mean you just gave him a plane without checking with Operations?

Sailor: Sir, Captain Eddington is Chief of Staff; sir, he *is* Operations.

Sailor: [as Eddington takes off on his recon flight] Sir! How shall I log this flight?

Captain Paul Eddington: Joy ride with the Chief of Staff!

Sailor: Shoulder to shoulder. The land is ours. Tomorrow is ours.

Sailor: If you think about it, cattle ain't got it much worse than us.

Gloria Beatty: They got it better. There's always somebody feeding them.

Sailor: [the car's crashed] What happened?

Sam Masterson: The road curved, I didn't.

Eddie Cantor: How about it, soldier? Show the little lady all the homes of the movie stars?

Sailor: I'm sorry, Mac. I got an hour. I gotta get back to my ship.

Eddie Cantor: What better way can you spend your last hour than a nice bus ride.

Sailor: [Arm in arm with a beautiful blonde] Are you kidding?