Ryan Harrison Quotes in Wrongfully Accused (1998)

Ryan Harrison: Your dog sure has a surprised look on his face.

Lauren: That's because you're looking at his butt.

Ryan Harrison: Uh, then he's certainly not going to enjoy that treat I just fed to him.

Ryan Harrison: I'm not going to take it any longer. I'm going to fight back. I am going to prove that I am not guilty.

Security Guard #1: SHUT UP!

Ryan Harrison: No! I've been wrongfully accused.

[Guard hits Harrison with a baton]

Ryan Harrison: How dare you, sir?

Security Guard #1: How dare you?

Ryan Harrison: No, how dare you?

Security Guard #1: No, no, how dare you?

Ryan Harrison: How dare you "no, no" my "how dare you?

Security Guard #1: You dare to dare me?

Ryan Harrison: How dare you "how dare me", when I "how dare you?", you big pee-pee head!

Security Guard #1: *You* are the pee-pee head!

Ryan Harrison: Mr. Booger Lips! Ca-ca mouth!

Cass Lake: Cass Lake.

Ryan Harrison: No, Ryan Harrison. You're mixing me up with some woman.

Cass Lake: You see, I think she's my sister.

Ryan Harrison: Sister?

Cass Lake: It's like a brother, only you do each other's hair.

Customer in bait shop: You know, I've never seen you around here, Mr...

[Harrison quickly improvises a fake story, using objects in view above the counter]

Ryan Harrison: Buzzin. Buzzin Frog. Born on the shores of the Euro Larvae River in Rapala. Couple of husky jerks brought me to Slimy Slug, South Dakota. Up there by Timber Doodle? The Zebco brothers, Smithwick and Salty Dog Shrimp... ohh!

[Bangs hand on counter]

Ryan Harrison: I can't go fishing this afternoon. I've got a big meeting over at... Menzrum.

Ryan Harrison: [starts to walk away] I'd forget my genitals if they weren't superglued in between my legs. Water-skiing accident.

Ryan Harrison: [after bus crash] I can't see!

Bus Prisoner: Take the waste-basket off your head.

Ryan Harrison: [Takes it off] I still can't see!

Bus Prisoner: Take the other one off.

Ryan Harrison: Women and me are like water and fire: wet and flammable.

Ryan Harrison: Don't move. I've got a gun. Not here, but I got one.

Ryan Harrison: Your lies are like bananas. They come in big yellow bunches.

Ryan Harrison: We can go away right now. I pack light. Everything we need is right here in my pants.

Lauren Goodhue: I've never missed one of your concerts. Hibbing, however, wasn't at Friday's.

Hibbing Goodhue: It was a high colonic.

Ryan Harrison: Yes, a Jewish holiday. Mazel tov.

Ryan Harrison: My head is spinning like a dreidel in a sandstorm.

Ryan Harrison: Sit down, Pancakes. Of all the women in all the world, you had to walk into mine.

Cass Lake: I'm sure if we just talk all night, we can work this out.

Ryan Harrison: Sure, Slappy. Let's pull out that wad of cotton and get right to the aspirin. You hired a hit man. You wanted Hibbing dead. I saw the two of you arguing. And you were sizzling like a wiener on a hibachi.

Ryan Harrison: [to Cass Lake] Your lies are like bananas. They come in big yellow bunches!

[after a kiss]

Ryan Harrison: Damn you! Damn you for making me fall in love with you! I can't let you get mixed up in this.

Cass Lake: I want to get mixed up in it.

Ryan Harrison: I can't do it to you.

Cass Lake: I want you to do it to me.

Ryan Harrison: I'm a hunted man. Every time I think that I'm out, they pull me back in.

Cass Lake: Hunt *me*! Pull *me*! Ryan, you can't do this on your own.

Ryan Harrison: I have to. Now, listen. I'm going out that door and where I'm going, you can't follow me. And I'm not trying to be noble. But baby, out there it's a hill of beans. Here's looking at you, kid. You're the stuff dreams are made of.

[Harrison staggers and faints, Cass Lake catches him]

Cass Lake: You see? You're exhausted. Listen, I'm going to give you a sponge bath, give you a bracing enema and make you something to eat. Just put your weight on me. I'll take you into the bedroom.

Ryan Harrison: [startled] An enema?

Ryan Harrison: Put your hand in my pocket.

Cass Lake: All right... What am I looking for?

Ryan Harrison: Nothing. I just missed you, baby. We're going to party like it's 1995.

Cass Lake: Oh, Ryan. I hoped you'd say those words. I love you.

[they kiss]

Ryan Harrison: Boy! You really are something, aren't you? You believed me just then, didn't you? How does it feel? You were lit up like Dennis Rodman at Christmastime. You really are good!

Cass Lake: I do love you, Ryan. I truly do.

Ryan Harrison: And you eat with that mouth? The Beatles said it best: "She loves you. Yeah, yeah, yeah." Listen, Michelle, my belle, this nowhere man is the walrus. Kookookachoo! Up at the apartment, you said you thought I was innocent. But then visions of a big fat reward danced through your head like sugarplums on steroids. You made a call, you got a gat, and you sicced Johnny Law on me!

Cass Lake: You're just a big bully, aren't you? That gun was for your protection. I was calling the airlines for you, you mean man! I was trying to get you on the first plane to South America!

Ryan Harrison: I wish I had a Quarter Pounder with Cheese every time I heard that chestnut. Well, this little nutcracker is not dancing to your suite anymore, princess.

Ryan Harrison: [to Cass] I saw through your lies like Spam in a Ziploc bag.

Cass Lake: Listen to me. I was abandoned as a child. I never knew my mother, I never knew my father, I never knew my dog...

Ryan Harrison: Yeah, pretty words, Baby Crackers. Your Popeil Pasta Maker is spewing out fettuccini full of lies.

Ryan Harrison: [to Cass, Lauren and Sean] You make the Mansons look like the Cleavers.

[after spotting an assassin with a prosthetic leg in the crowd]

Ryan Harrison: Look out! He's got a leg!

Ryan Harrison: Fergus Falls, here's the one-armed, one-legged, one-eyed man! Are you frightened, punk? Did I fire the last bullet or is there is another one in the chamber with your name on it? Does the thought of death play with your mind,uh... punk? Do you... gots to know? Well... you got lucky. There are no more bullets in the chamber.

[Fires in the air, a tree branch falls down and hits Sean Laughrea]

Ryan Harrison: Whoops! My mistake!

Nurse: [refering to a wounded patient] ICU, doctor?

Ryan Harrison: And I see you too, nurse.

[impersonating a doctor, Harrison looks at various patients in a hospital ER]

Ryan Harrison: [refering to a fat man] He's pregnant.

Paramedic #2: [refering to another patient] Doctor, this man has been shot five times!

Ryan Harrison: Put him in the 10 bullets or less line.

Paramedic: [refering to a pregnant woman in labor] Doctor, you may want to take a look at this.

Ryan Harrison: No thank you!

Ryan Harrison: [refering to another patient] This man's in cardiac arrest. Give him 200,000 cc's of adrenaline.

Nurse: But Doc...

Ryan Harrison: But what? Damn your butt! I said 200,000 cc's of adrenaline!

Ryan Harrison: [refering to another injured woman] Balance, rotate, and align the organs.

Ryan Harrison: [to Sean] Right? Signal "yes" by shooting yourself in the head three times.

Lauren: Don't, it's a trick!

Ryan Harrison: [to Cass] When you shot me at point blank range, I knew you loved me.

Ryan Harrison: Well, Lauren, you'll pay the highest price of all where you're going. Those wet lips and hot kisses will be falling on deaf ears for a long time to come.

[to Fergus Falls]

Ryan Harrison: They're all yours, Falls. Tied up tight, like a bride on her honeymoon night.

Lt. Fergus Falls: And so our tracks have finally come together. It's time to drive the golden spike. Ryan Harrison, I say to you, on behalf of law enforcement all over the world... you were wrongfully accused.