Russel Quotes in Roadkill (1989)

Ramona: Russel, are you really a serial killer?

Russel: Well, I've never really killed anyone before, but that's what I'm shooting for. That's my ambition. I know it's a hard profession, and it's a competive field and getting tougher every year. You have to kill about 20 people now before you're taken seriously, But let's face it, what other options do I have? There's not a lot of opportunities up here for social mobility. I mean you can either become a hockey player or take up a life of crime. And I have weak ankles, so there you go.

Russel: It will be Terry's job to give the actors their hand cue.

Wayne Campbell: Excuse me, Russel, but I believe I requested the hand job...

[last lines]

Cassandra: I love you, Wayne.

Wayne Campbell: I love you, Cassandra.

Dreamwoman: I love you, Garth.

Garth Algar: I love you, dreamwoman.

Noah Vanderhoff: You know, ever since I did your show, kids are looking at me in a whole new way.

Terry: I love you, man.

Russel: And I love you. Because I've learned that Platonic love *can* exist between two grown men.

Benjamin: And I've learned something, too. I've learned that a flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America - almost to the top - but it can't get you everything.

Wayne Campbell: Isn't it great that we're all better people?

[beat]

Wayne Campbell, Garth Algar: FISHED IN!

Benjamin: Have you spoken to Wayne about the Vanderhoff spot?

Russel: Yes, briefly. He was not very receptive.

Benjamin: Oh really? Well I'll explain it to him that it's not a choice. It's in his contract

Russel: Oh. Well Wayne will understand that right away... NOT!

[Ben glares at Russ]

Russel: Excuse me!

Russel: [On his son being a serial murderer] You know when a dog bites you... you can either chain him up... or put him down

Richard Dane: [Shocked] You're gonna kill your own son?

Russel: I can't well chain him up now... can I?

[Last lines]

Freddy: Are you really my father?

Russel: As far as I know.

Russel: You think Im vain. Cause I like myself? I like my suit. Dont you like my suit? You like my tie? Cute? How about the rest of me? My eyes, hair, profile. Legs long enough?

[Gestures at stomach]

Russel: Mmm, flat.

Russel: What do you do at home? Stare at the wall and go quietly crazy?