Rupert Dibbs Quotes in Another You (1991)

Rupert Dibbs: Listen, I want to know who you are, and I mean Right Now!

Eddie Dash: Well who the fuck are you?

Eddie Dash: Elaine?

Eddie Dash: Look, I'm Abe Fielding's BEST FRIEND asshole!

Rupert Dibbs: Oh come on!

Eddie Dash: What, you think you can just come in here and talk to me like I'm shit?

Rupert Dibbs: You wouldn't even know Abe Fielding if you were talking to him! Elaine?

Eddie Dash: Wait, are you Abe Fielding?

Rupert Dibbs: No I'm not. Elaine? I'm Rupert Dibbs, I run Abe Fielding's business.

George: [George has been listening to the bickering between Eddie and Rupert and now pops out from where he was hiding] Dibsy!

Rupert Dibbs: Abe? Abe!

George: You ol' duffer! Howsa the boy!

Rupert Dibbs: My God, you're back!

George: Long time no see Pal! Eddie,

[George puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder]

George: I bet you thought this was Abe Fielding, huh?

Eddie Dash: yeah...

George: Well, you know how I knew he wasn't Abe Fielding?

Eddie Dash: No.

George: [leans into Eddie's ear and shouts] BECAUSE I'M ABE FIELDING!

Eddie Dash: [Eddie rubs his ear] Oh! Abe! Howsa the boy!

George: Fine!

[looks to Rupert]

George: Come on Dibsy, give me a wet one!

Rupert Dibbs: A what?

[George kisses him on the cheek]

Rupert Dibbs: Ah, ah ha!

[He kisses George back playing along]

Rupert Dibbs: Well what do you expect, you run off to God knows where, you don't write, you don't let anyone know where you are going, leaving me to run things...

George: Oh, no lectures, no lectures!

Rupert Dibbs: Well? What do you expect? You let everyone think you were dead!

George: All right, all right! Come on, have a drink with me!

Rupert Dibbs: I... I don't drink.

George: Geez, I still can't get this guy to take a drink! By the way, Rupert, this is my best friend, Eddie.

Rupert Dibbs: Elaine!

Eddie Dash: No, Eddie.

Elaine: Rupert! What are you doing here?

Rupert Dibbs: Well, I had actually come to see you, but now that Abe is back, I actually need him to sign a few papers.

George: OK!

Rupert Dibbs: All right. Abe, if you would just...

George: You want my Abe Fielding on that?

Rupert Dibbs: Yes.

George: OK!

Rupert Dibbs: Sign here... and here.

Rupert Dibbs: [Elaine sits in Rupert's office, crying] Stop it. Please, will you stop it? I didn't say you didn't have some... limited acting ability.

Elaine: Limited acting ability? Listen bub, these are *real* tears here!

Rupert Dibbs: Regardless of your acting ability, he still left!

Elaine: Listen, you can't take some guy off the street and convince him to be Abe Fielding. I'm very technical...

Rupert Dibbs: [slams his hand down on the desk] That was not the job!

[Elaine gives Rupert an icy stare of contentment]

Rupert Dibbs: [Rupert takes a calmer tone] You're job was to entice them, hmm? To make them *want* to be Abe Fielding. But you've got these guys running away from you like the plague.

Elaine: I will not be handled! I told you that when I took the job, and it still goes, and if that's not the job... I don't want the position anyway!

Rupert Dibbs: OK, that's fine, that's fine Miss Mimi Kravitz! Professional actress!

Elaine: You know, you got a real effort for the jugular here...

Rupert Dibbs: I like the last one. A liar, a liar is perfect.

Elaine: No! Come on, that guy was kind of soft on me...

Rupert Dibbs: And why shouldn't he? You're a very beautiful woman.

Elaine: Thank you. But he'll never come back without his friend.

Rupert Dibbs: Don't worry about his friend. He's not going anywhere. His ass is mine for bail money.

Elaine: What happened?

Rupert Dibbs: I caught the schmuck stealing Abe's credit cards! He won't be a problem. Drink?

Elaine: Yeah, sure.