Rufio Quotes in Hook (1991)

Peter Banning: [to Rufio, who pulls a sword at him] Okay, mister. All right, show's over. Now, you put that thing away! Now, put it down before you poke somebody's eye out.

[the Lost Boys all laugh]

Peter Banning: You're not old enough to shave! What are you doing with a sword? And flying around... this is an insurance nightmare! What is this, some sort of "Lord of the Flies" preschool? Where are your parents? Who's in charge, here?

[the Lost Boys all point to Rufio, who bows]

Peter Banning: No! No, Mr. Skunkhead with too much mousse. You are just a punk kid. I want to speak to a grown-up!

Rufio: All grown-ups are pirates!

Peter Banning: Excuse me?

Rufio: [smiles] We kill pirates.

Peter Banning: I'm not a pirate. It so happens I am a lawyer.

Rufio: Kill the lawyer!

Lost Boys: [drawing their weapons] Kill the lawyer!

Peter Banning: [backs away nervously] I'm not that kind of lawyer...

Rufio: Boil-dripping beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt!

Kids: Bangarang, Rufio!

Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ca-ca mouth, you know that?

Rufio: You are fart factory, slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!

Kids: [in unison] Ugh!

Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher.

Lost Boy: Come on, Rufio, hit him back.

Rufio: Mung tongue.

Peter Banning: Math tutor.

Rufio: Pinhead.

Peter Banning: Prison barber.

Rufio: Mother lover.

Peter Banning: Nearsighted gynecologist.

Rufio: In your face, camel cake!

Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derrière.

Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig.

Peter Banning: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.

Thud Butt: [with the rest of the Lost Boys] Bangarang, Peter!

Rufio: You... you man! Stupid, stupid man!

Peter Banning: Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger why don't you just eat me! You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin' paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!

Don't Ask: What's a paramecium brain?

Peter Banning: I'll tell you what a paramecium is! That's a paramecium! It's a one-celled critter with no brain, that can't fly! Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!

Kids: [chanting] Banning, Banning, Banning is bangerang.

Rufio: Rufio! Rufio!

Peter Banning: Oh, Rufio, why don't you just go suck on a dead dog's nose.

Rufio: [after getting stabbed by Captain Hook] Do you know what I wish?

Peter Pan: What?

Rufio: I wish I had a dad... like you.

Jack: [tearfully] Oh, Dad, I'm sorry.

Rufio: [falls to his knees holding his sword up in his hands] You are the Pan.

[Peter takes the sword from him, draws a line in the sand between him and Rufio and all the lost boys run over to stand behind him. Rufio stands up walks towards him]

Rufio: [very pleased] You can fly! You can fight! And you can...

[Peter crows and bows to Rufio. Rufio does the same and the lost boys cheer]

Rufio: [while fighting Hook] Lookie Lookie, I've got Hookie.

Antony: Queens. Queens. Strip them naked as any other woman, they are no longer queens.

Rufio: It is also difficult to tell the rank of a naked general. Generals without armies are naked indeed.