Ruber Quotes in Quest for Camelot (1998)

Ruber: [after the giant ogre sits on him] The ogre's butt.

Lady Juliana: You're mad.

Ruber: I'm *so* glad you noticed. I've been working at it for years.

[Lying under the giant ogre]

Gryphon: Well, at lest things can't get any worse!

Ruber: Wanna bet?

Lady Juliana: Ruber.

Ruber: Juliana. I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I'd invade. How about a kiss? I hear you're still single...

Lady Juliana: Impertinent pig.

Ruber: Is that a no?

[after Ruber melds Excalibur to his arm with his potion]

Ruber: Don't worry, Julianna. I'll make sure Arthur gets it back. Or gets it in the back.

Ruber: Charming singalong. Now let's get down to business. I've waited a long time for this. What about my new land?

King Arthur: Sir Ruber, always thinking of yourself. As knights of the roundtable, our obligation is to the people. Not to ourselves. Lands will be divided to each persons needs.

Ruber: Then I need more than everyone. I wouldn't have supported you all these years if I knew you were running a charity.

Sir Lionel: The king has decided!

Ruber: Then it's time for a new king. And I vote for me.

Sir Lionel: I will not serve under a false king!

Ruber: Then serve... a dead one!

Ruber: [moves in to attack Arthur]

King Arthur: You may kill me... but you'll never destroy the ideals of Camelot.

Ruber: Well, I've got to start somewhere.

Ruber: A spear. How Stone Age. A king would hold a nobler weapon. A king would hold *Excalibur*!

Ruber: Panic sweeps across the land.

Gryphon: Precisely.

Ruber: My plan is perfect.

Gryphon: Precisely.

Ruber: Without the sword, Arthur is vulnerable.

Gryphon: Precisely.

Ruber: And now Excalibur is mine.

Gryphon: Eh... here's where we enter a grey area.

Ruber: Where did you drop the sword?

Gryphon: It all looks so *different* from down here...

Ruber: You've been quite annoying, for a girl.

Ruber: Find them all and report back to me! Did you hear me?

Gryphon: Sorry, Master. My mouth was full.

Ruber: Typical! Of all the evil creatures in the world, I had to find one with *table manners*!

Sir Lionel: I'll not serve a false king.

Ruber: Then serve... A DEAD ONE!

[Ruber attacks Arthur]

Ruber: When I get my hands on that girl...