Roy Pulsipher Quotes in R.I.P.D. (2013)
Roy Pulsipher Quotes:
Roy Pulsipher: [to Nick] You are just gonna have to learn to sit on your regret and pain until it turns into a dull, persistent ache. The way I do it. The way a man does it.
Business Person: [walks up to Roy's avatar] I do music videos. Home phone number's on the back.
Roy Pulsipher: Excuse me? I'm not a piece of meat put on this earth for your gratification, I'm a woman. Respect me or I will castrate you like a three-year-old steer.
Roy Pulsipher: One of them coyotes, he made love to my skull. You know what that practice is commonly called?
Nick: I do... and I certainly hope he got both eyes, Roy.
Roy Pulsipher: [prepping his guns] Just like Main Street, Dodge City. Them dudes, they picked the wrong venue to make a stand. I invented this shit.
Roy Pulsipher: I knew you weren't happy with Grandpa Chen, so I pulled a few strings, for you some new ID.
Nick: Thank you. Thank you, Roy. I mean that. This is great.
[looks in his new wallet]
Nick: Oh, you gotta be shitting me.
Roy Pulsipher: Ah, I did what I could. Inventory is what it is.
Nick: [looking in the wallet] You thought this was an improvement?
Nick's New Avatar: [Gets in the car and drives off]
Roy Pulsipher: The universe, in its ultimate wisdom, will not let you reveal yourself. It's smarter than us.
Nick: That's sick.
Roy Pulsipher: Consider it the universe's witness protection program.
Nick: When exactly was your day?
Roy Pulsipher: 1800s, buddy. I'm what we used to call a lawman. Marshal Roysephus Pulsiper.
Roy Pulsipher: It was considered a very sexy name at the time.
Nick: It sounds like an STD.
Roy Pulsipher: Damn. I don't know what eyes to shoot you between.
Roy Pulsipher: Fun, Right?
Nick: Don't tense up!
[Throws Roy in front of a moving bus]
[R.I.P.D. headquarters exits out into a VCR repair shop in Boston]
Nick: You ever think about hiding this place a little better?
Roy Pulsipher: When was the last time you got a VCR repaired?
Nick: [eyeing the shop clerk] Point taken.
Roy Pulsipher, Nick: [when in apparent mortal danger] Relax body!
Roy Pulsipher: Let's learn you a few things about Old West fighting! First,
[Roy shoots, erasing a deado]
Roy Pulsipher: Only a novice hides in a church steeple. It's the first place I'm gonna look. Second place, hotel window, every time.
[shoots again, but doesn't hit anything]
Nick: I guess there's only one novice in their crew.
[Nick and Roy both turn and fire, erasing a deado on a building roof]
Roy Pulsipher: Sometimes the window guy is on the roof.
Nick: You frosty?
Roy Pulsipher: Icy hot, partner!
Roy Pulsipher: I guess I could have bought you flowers once or twice.
Proctor: [giving him an amorous look] I like violets.
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