Roy Pulsipher Quotes in R.I.P.D. (2013)

Roy Pulsipher: [to Nick] You are just gonna have to learn to sit on your regret and pain until it turns into a dull, persistent ache. The way I do it. The way a man does it.

Business Person: [walks up to Roy's avatar] I do music videos. Home phone number's on the back.

Roy Pulsipher: Excuse me? I'm not a piece of meat put on this earth for your gratification, I'm a woman. Respect me or I will castrate you like a three-year-old steer.

Roy Pulsipher: One of them coyotes, he made love to my skull. You know what that practice is commonly called?

Nick: I do... and I certainly hope he got both eyes, Roy.

Roy Pulsipher: [prepping his guns] Just like Main Street, Dodge City. Them dudes, they picked the wrong venue to make a stand. I invented this shit.

[last lines]

Roy Pulsipher: I knew you weren't happy with Grandpa Chen, so I pulled a few strings, for you some new ID.

Nick: Thank you. Thank you, Roy. I mean that. This is great.

[looks in his new wallet]

Nick: Oh, you gotta be shitting me.

Roy Pulsipher: Ah, I did what I could. Inventory is what it is.

Nick: [looking in the wallet] You thought this was an improvement?

Nick's New Avatar: [Gets in the car and drives off]

Roy Pulsipher: The universe, in its ultimate wisdom, will not let you reveal yourself. It's smarter than us.

Nick: That's sick.

Roy Pulsipher: Consider it the universe's witness protection program.

Nick: When exactly was your day?

Roy Pulsipher: 1800s, buddy. I'm what we used to call a lawman. Marshal Roysephus Pulsiper.

Nick: Roysephus?

Roy Pulsipher: It was considered a very sexy name at the time.

Nick: It sounds like an STD.

[from trailer]

Roy Pulsipher: Damn. I don't know what eyes to shoot you between.

Roy Pulsipher: Fun, Right?

Nick: Don't tense up!

[Throws Roy in front of a moving bus]

[R.I.P.D. headquarters exits out into a VCR repair shop in Boston]

Nick: You ever think about hiding this place a little better?

Roy Pulsipher: When was the last time you got a VCR repaired?

Nick: [eyeing the shop clerk] Point taken.

[repeated line]

Roy Pulsipher, Nick: [when in apparent mortal danger] Relax body!

Roy Pulsipher: Let's learn you a few things about Old West fighting! First,

[Roy shoots, erasing a deado]

Roy Pulsipher: Only a novice hides in a church steeple. It's the first place I'm gonna look. Second place, hotel window, every time.

[shoots again, but doesn't hit anything]

Nick: I guess there's only one novice in their crew.

[Nick and Roy both turn and fire, erasing a deado on a building roof]

Roy Pulsipher: Sometimes the window guy is on the roof.

Nick: You frosty?

Roy Pulsipher: Icy hot, partner!

Roy Pulsipher: I guess I could have bought you flowers once or twice.

Proctor: [giving him an amorous look] I like violets.