Roxy Quotes in Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Merlin: As some of you will have learned last night, teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman. We're here to enhance your skills and test you to the limit. Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy. Wherever you go, your dog goes. You will care for it. You will teach it. And by the time it's fully trained, so will you be. Those of you who are still here, that is. Do you understand? Choose your puppy.

[the candidates approach the cages. Eggsy gets a pug while Roxy gets a black poodle]

Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: A poodle?

Roxy: What? They're gun dogs. Oldest working breed. Easy to train.

[Looks at Eggsy's pug]

Roxy: A pug.

Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: It's a bulldog, ain't it?

[Disappointing look at Roxy's face]

Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: It'll get bigger, don't it?

[Roxy shakes her head]

Gary 'Eggsy' Unwin: Shit.

Dutch: Noone's gonna mess with me babe, you're just being stupid.

Roxy: I'm telling you I heard something damnit.

Dutch: Get back here you dumb bitch!

Roxy: I have the worst luck with men.

The Killer: Your luck is about to change.

[chokes her unconscious]

Roxy: Don't you think this whole idea is a wee bit unfeasible?

Annabelle Fritton: This is St. Trinian's. We don't know the meaning of the word "unfeasible".

Chelsea: That's true.

Rock Star: Hey Roxy! Promise you'll write me.

[Roxy rolls her eyes]

Rock Star: Love you babe.

Roxy: Whatever.

Bella: [the Posh Totties, Bella and Saffy are showing new girl Roxy to her bed; and she sees a group of girls dancing] Oh, don't mind them. That's just the Flammables.

[fire appears on the screen with the "Flammables: St Trinians group logo]

Roxy: [confused] Why are they called "Flammables"?

Saffy: Have you *seen* all that polyester? Last year, one of them took up smoking and *half* the school burnt down!

[Saffy and Bella giggle to themselves]

Roxy: Oh.

Roxy: [carrying her bag to the beds] Where do I sling my stuff?

Saffy: Well, we can make up some room in our area, I suppose.

Chelsea: [excited] Yeah, you can so totally hang out with us!

[coolly]

Chelsea: I mean, you know, if you wanted. Whatever.

Zoe: Does she look like she'd want to hang out with a bunch of shallow, facile, peroxide-blonde turbo skanks?

[the Emos' St Trinians logo appears on the screen; with creepy music]

Bella: You think she'd rather hang out with *you* and the sulky, sun-dodging Emos?

[Chelsea and Saffy laugh, and the Posh Totties' St Trinians logo dings on the screen]

Roxy: What goes on tour, stays on tour.

Frank: [after finishing shooting practice] You did a good job.

Roxy: I have a good coach. That and I was pretending the targets were the cast of Glee.

Roxy: So you can kill a teenager, just not fuck one?

Frank: Yeah.

Frank: Good night, Juno.

Roxy: Fuck you, Frank.

Roxy: Wow. Look at all these people.

Frank: Yeah. I wish I had an AK-47.

Frank: I only wanna kill people who deserve to die.

Roxy: You know who we should kill?

Frank: Who?

Roxy: People who use rockstar as an adjective. As in rockstar parking.

Frank: People who pound energy drinks all day.

Roxy: People who use the term edgy, in your face, or extreme.

[last lines]

Frank: You are a pretty girl.

Roxy: Thank you, Frank.

Roxy: You really had the chance to do something awesome here. But you're blowing it, Frank. Now you're just gonna be remembered as some creepy old stalker dude who was in love with some young twat on a television show. Just a pervy old dude that killed that girl and then himself when he couldn't have her.

Frank: I didn't kill her because I couldn't have her. I killed her because she wasn't nice.

Roxy: You're seriously not interested in me at all as a girlfriend?

Frank: What the hell are you talking about? I'm not a pedophile.

Roxy: So we're Platonic spree killers?

Frank: Yeah. And that's all.

Roxy: Musically, I'm all about Alice Cooper.

Frank: I like Alice Cooper.

Roxy: You don't *like* Alice Cooper, Frank. That, that, that's like a Muslim saying that he *likes* Muhammad. You *accept* Alice Cooper.

Roxy: Why quit now? You kill yourself, Frank, and you're killing the wrong person, which would be a shame when there are so many other Chloes out there who need to die.

Roxy: This is more fun than killing yourself, right?

Frank: I don't know. Yeah, I guess.

Frank: Are you A.D.D. 'Juno'

Roxy: Yes. I have A.D.D. And don't you ever call me fucking 'Juno' again.

Frank: Sorry.

Roxy: That's who we should kill next.

Frank: A fictitious character?

Roxy: No. Diablo Cody. Fuck her for writing that movie, she's the only stripper who suffers from too much self esteem.

Roxy: Do you have it in you Fuller? How long has it been since you've actually had to shoot someone? Oh wait, you never have. I forgot, you never served in the military. You had your parents help you dodge the draft. Just like every other rich blowhard who makes a living off of American Xenophobes. Seems like you guys just exploited some tragedy to further your agenda. In fact, it seems like it's always been about protecting big oil companies right to keep boiling the whole world alive. Just because some court appointed, hillbilly president started taking orders from Jesus or the Easter bunny or some other make um up play friend of his.

Morning Show Host: Please, that is just your typical, uneducated, femo-Nazi point of view.

Roxy: [after killing TV commentator] Exactly what part of his politics do you agree with?

Frank: Less gun control, of course.

Roxy: Well, Frank, then every nut would have a gun.

Roxy: Who you're killing next? Do you take requests? Because I was thinking maybe some Kardashians, my gym coach. People who give high fives. Really, any jock. Twihards. People who talk about punk rock. Who else really rips my cock off?

Frank: Get off the bed!

Roxy: Oh, Mormons and other religious assholes who won't let gay people be married. And adult women who call their tits the girls.

Roxy: [referring to Frank having killed Chloe] Tell me all about it!

Frank: About what?

Roxy: Did the bitch cry?

Frank: Yeah.

Roxy: Did you just kill Chloe?

Frank: [hurries past without responding]

Roxy: Awesome!

Roxy: Christ, Frank. You look like fuck pie.

Roxy: No, I don't high five.

Frank: Mental high five?

Roxy: Yeah, mental high five.

Roxy: So, are we gonna kill him?

Frank: [Watching Frank's ex and daughter give the new husband a hard time] No. I want him to suffer.

[They drive away]

Roxy: You shouldn't accept expensive gifts from a man.

Isabel: Why?

Roxy: Because it puts you in a position of having to do what he wants.

Isabel: I'd do it anyway.

Roxy: Laws are made to be re-written.

Jeeter: Take me to your leader.

Roxy: But you are a leader.

Roxy: You are such a man.

Alexa: I am proceeding with the excusion

Roxy: You are such a man.

Roxy: [Holding her dead dog] Gotta say goodbye to her. She won't go to heaven if I don't say goodbye.

Darkly Noon: Animals don't go to heaven.

Kareem: This ain't even the right kind. You know I need Magnums. I'm packin'.

Roxy: I know, Papa, I know, but if you want to pack that inside of me, you've gotta pack it inside of this.

Kareem: How about you just let me stick the head in?

Roxy: How about you just stick the tongue in?

Kareem: How about we just forget it?

Kareem: You hear something?

Roxy: Baby, this is weed, not crack. What's wrong with you?