Roxanne Ritchi Quotes in Megamind (2010)

[Metro Man crashes into the observatory, but finds no one present]

Megamind: [from projector] Over here, old friend! In case you've noticed, you've fallen right into my trap!

Metro Man: You can't trap justice! It's an idea, a BELIEF!

Megamind: Even the most heartfelt belief can get corroded over time!

Metro Man: Justice is a non-corrosive metal!

Megamind: But metals can be melted, by the heat of revanchge!

Metro Man: It's REVENGE, and it's best served cold!

Megamind: But it can be easily reheated, in the microwave of evil!

Metro Man: Well, I think your warranty's about to expire!

Megamind: Maybe I got an extended warranty!

Metro Man: Warranties are invalid, if used beyond their intended purpose!

Roxanne Ritchi: [exasperated] Girls, girls, you're both pretty! Can I go home now?

Megamind: Of course. That is, if Metro Man can withstand the full, concentrated power OF THE SUN!'! FIRE!'!'!'!'!

Metro Man: It all started back at the observatory. Roxanne was kidnapped, I was gonna stop you. My head wasn't in the game that day. We were kinda goin' through the motions. So, using my super speed, I decided to go clear my head. Then I realized, we had done this same silly charade our entire lives! I tried to get my mind off how I was feeling, but I just felt stuck. And I started to realize, despite all my powers, each and every citizen of Metro had something I didn't: a choice. Ever since I can remember, I've always had to be what this city wanted me to be. What about what I wanted to do? Then it suddenly hit me: I DO have a choice! I can be whatever I wanna be! No one said that this hero thing had to be a lifetime gig!... But you can't just quit either. That's when I got the brilliant idea... to fake my death! Once your death ray hit, I've never felt so alive. So I borrowed a prop from a nearby nursing school and Metro Man was finally dead! And Music Man was born!

Roxanne Ritchi: Music Man?

Metro Man: That way I can keep my logo!

Megamind: Because of WHAAT?

Roxanne Ritchi: Come again?

Metro Man: I am finally free to get in touch with my true power... weaving lyrical magic!

Megamind: You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi! I'm afraid no one can hear you!

[Roxanne just gives him an exasperated look]

Megamind: Uh, why isn't she screaming?

Minion: Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind...

Megamind: Like this!

[does a fake scream]

Megamind: Well, that's a poor lady scream...

[the brainbot in his lap bites his hand, and he lets out a high-pitched scream]

Megamind: AAAAAHHH!

Roxanne Ritchi: [smirking] That's a little better.

Titan: [on TV] Hey, Metro losers! This is Metro Tower! They say it's supposed to be a symbol of our city's strength...

[shows Roxanne tied to the tower]

Titan: ...but for me, it's a reminder of the day this woman ferociously ripped out my heart! And I hate reminders!

[rips out part of the tower's foundation, swaying it]

Roxanne Ritchi: HAL! Please don't do this. I know there's still good in you, Hal...

Titan: You're so naive, Roxy. You see the good in everyone, even when it's not there. You're living a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny. There is no Tooth Fairy. There is no Queen of England. This is the real world, and you need to wake up!

[Suddenly, a giant hologram of Megamind's head appears in the sky]

Megamind: You dare challenge Megamind?'!

Titan: This town isn't big enough for TWO super-villains!

Megamind: Oh, you're a villain, alright! Just not a SUPER one!

Titan: Oh, yeah? What's the difference?

[Megamind's giant hologram head opens its mouth and from the inside appears Megamind]

Megamind: PRESENTATION!

Roxanne Ritchi: What secrets? You're SOOO predictable!

Megamind: Predictable? PREDICTABLE? Oh, you call THIS predictable?

[pulls a lever that opens up an alligator pool beneath Roxanne]

Roxanne Ritchi: Your alligators, yeah, mm-hmm. I was thinking about it on the way over...

Megamind: [pulls another lever that reveals a hidden gun] What's this? Boom! In your face.

Roxanne Ritchi: Cliché!

Megamind: No! Look! Watch!

[brings down a gauntlet of blades]

Roxanne Ritchi: Juvenile!

Roxanne Ritchi: Shock and awe!

[brings up a chainsaw]

Roxanne Ritchi: Tacky!

Megamind: OH, IT'S SO SCARYU!

[unleashes a cycle of spiked boots]

Roxanne Ritchi: Seen it!

Megamind: [frantic] What's this one do?'!

[unleashes a flamethrower]

Roxanne Ritchi: Garish!

[Megamind breaks down]

Roxanne Ritchi: Okay, the spider's new.

Megamind: Spider?

[sees a spider hanging in front of Roxanne. Minion just shrugs]

Megamind: Uh... Uh, yes, the spyiiiiiider. Even the smallest bite from... "arachnis deathicus"... will instantly paralyze...

[Roxanne blows the spider into Megamind's eye]

Megamind: AARGH! GET IT OFF! IT BIT ME!

[Minion removes a cloth bag from his captive, Roxanne Ritchi]

Megamind: Miss Ritchi... we meet again.

Roxanne Ritchi: Would it kill you to wash the bag?

[Titan hurls a skyscraper]

Roxanne Ritchi: What's the plan?

Megamind: Well, it mostly involves NOT DYING!

Roxanne Ritchi: I like that plan!

Megamind: [pulls out dehydration gun on the crowd gathering around him to congratulate him for defeating Titan] Get back, you savages!

Roxanne Ritchi: Sorry, sorry! He's just not used to positive feedback.

[after visiting Metro Man's base]

Roxanne Ritchi: Hey, who needs him? We can beat Titan ourselves! I say we go back to the Evil Lair, grab some laser guns, hold 'em sideways and just go all GANGSTA on him!

Megamind: [removes his cape] We can't.

Roxanne Ritchi: So, that's it? You're just giving up?

Megamind: I'm the bad guy! I don't save the day, I don't fly off into the sunset, and I don't get the girl! I'm going home.

[heads to the prison]

Roxanne Ritchi: You did it! You won!

Megamind: I finally had a reason to win... You.

Megamind: [catches up with Roxanne] I can explain!... What about everything you just said, about judging a book by its cover?

Roxanne Ritchi: Well, let's take a look at the contents then, shall we? You destroyed Metro Man, you took over the city, and now you've actually got me to care about you! Why are you so evil? Tricking me? What could you possibly hope to gain?

[Megamind looks up at Roxanne sadly]

Roxanne Ritchi: ...Wait a minute. Ohhh... I don't believe this! Do you really think I that would ever be with you?

Megamind: [whispers] ... No.

Roxanne Ritchi: [smashing debris on Metro Man's head] How could you do this? The people of this city relied on you, and you deserted them! You left us in the hands of... HIM!

[points at Megamind]

Roxanne Ritchi: [to Megamind] No offense.

Megamind: No, I'm with you! Look, I'll pay top dollar for your performance, but right now a madman is destroying our city!

Roxanne Ritchi: Look! This glass has ice cubes in it.

Megamind: Yes, that's what happens when water gets cold.

Roxanne Ritchi: No, what I'm saying is don't you think it's a little odd that the ice hasn't melted yet?

Megamind: One of life's great mysteries.

Megamind: [clutching his forehead] My spider bite is acting up!

Roxanne Ritchi: Your plan is failing. Just admit it.

Minion: Yeah, good luck with THAT one!

Megamind: [to Minion] Whose side are you on?

Roxanne Ritchi: The losing side.

Minion: Thank you!

Megamind: You're alive?

Roxanne Ritchi: You're alive...

Metro Man: ...I'm alive.

Roxanne Ritchi: But, but... We saw your skeleton! You were dead!

Megamind: Are you a ghost?

[touches Metro Man's face]

Roxanne Ritchi: There had better be an amazing explanation for this!

Megamind: Speak, apparition!

Metro Man: Check this out...

[plays a guitar]

Metro Man: [singing] I have eyes, that can see, right through lead... huh?

Roxanne Ritchi: You're horrible!

Megamind: Granted, you have talent, but there's a madman out there destroying our... YOUR city!

[Megamind flips TV channels in prison]

Titan: [on TV] Hey, Megamind, you and I have unfinished business! I'll be waiting at Metro Tower, oh, and just so you don't get cold feet...

[reveals a captured Roxanne]

Megamind: Roxanne!

Titan: Come on, Roxie, call for your hero to come rescue you!

Roxanne Ritchi: Megamind... I don't even know if you're listening... but if you are, you can't give up! The Megamind I know would NEVER run from a fight, even if he knew he had no chance of winning! It was your best quality!... You need to be that guy, RIGHT now. The City needs you... I need you.

Megamind: Roxanne...

Titan: You have one hour. DON'T keep me waiting!

Hal: If I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time.

Roxanne Ritchi: Hmmm...?

Hal: And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby!... Okay, that sounded a little creepy...

Roxanne Ritchi: JUST a little.

Roxanne Ritchi: [looking around Megamind's lair] Is there some kind of nerdy supervillain website where you get Tesla coils and blinky dials?

Minion: Actually, most of it comes from an outlet store in...

Megamind: Don't answer that!

Minion: [whispering] Romania.

Megamind: NO! She's using her nosy reporter skills on your weak-willed mind to find out all our secrets! Such tricks... won't work... on ME.

Roxanne Ritchi: [sarcastic] Please talk slower.

Megamind: Temptress!

Roxanne Ritchi: You gave him these powers, can't you take them away?

Megamind: I can't! I lost the defuser gun when I misplaced the invisible car. The night you dumped me. Alone. In the rain... Did you ever look back...?

Roxanne Ritchi: No!

[slams on the brakes]

Megamind: [hits his head on the windshield] OH! My giant blue head!

Megamind: [sarcastic] Whoops, I guess we're here.

Roxanne Ritchi: And why did my doorman let you up?

[Megamind holds up a dehydration cube]

Roxanne Ritchi: [gasps] Carlos!

Roxanne Ritchi: [talking about Metro Man on TV] He was always there for us, dependable... Perhaps we took him for granted. You know, maybe, we never really know how good you have it until it's gone. We miss you Metro Man... I miss you... And I just have one question for Megamind: Are you happy now? This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting from a city without a hero. Coming up, are you ready to be a slave army? What you need to know...

Megamind: Titan's turned evil!

Roxanne Ritchi: [sarcastic] Congratulations, another one of your genius plans has backfired on you!

[from trailer]

Roxanne Ritchi: I knew you'd come back!

Megamind: Well, that makes one of us...

Megamind: [disguised as Bernard] Roxanne...?

Roxanne Ritchi: Yes?

Megamind: Say I wasn't so normal... Say I was bald and had the complexion of a popular primary color - in a random, non-specific example... Would you still enjoy my company?

Roxanne Ritchi: Of course! You don't judge a book by its cover or a person by the outside.

Megamind: Oh! That's a relief to hear!

Roxanne Ritchi: You judge them by their actions.

Megamind: ...Well that seems kinda petty, don't you think?

Roxanne Ritchi: He misses getting his butt kicked, so he's decided to create a new hero to do it for him. But why would he choose HAL? I mean, Hal is the worst possible candidate!

Megamind: [disguised as Bernard] Wow... That's a lot to take in...

Roxanne Ritchi: It just boggles my mind!

Megamind: I am extremely boggled!

[at the Metro Man Museum, on opposite sides of a raised circular walkway that surrounds a giant Metro Man statue at statue-face height]

Megamind: [holds a bouquet of flowers] I've made a horrible mistake. I didn't mean to destroy you. I mean, I MEANT to destroy you, but I didn't think it would really work.

Roxanne Ritchi: What are we supposed to do? Without you, evil is running rampant through the streets.

Megamind: I'm so tired of running rampant through the streets. What's the point of being bad when there's no good to try and stop you? I had so many evil plans in the works - the illiteracy beam, typhoon cheese, robo-sheep... Battles we will now never have. So it's good to have this time now... You know, before I destroy the whole place.

[activates a timer concealed in the bouquet]

Megamind: It's nothing personal, just brings back too many painful memories.

Roxanne Ritchi: You know, I'm pretty sure there's an apology in order for the other night.

Megamind: All right, that would be nice, but make it quick. We have much more pressing matters to deal with!

[museum worker Bernard discovers Roxanne talking to Metro Man statue]

Bernard: Hey! We're closing soon.

Roxanne Ritchi: Oh! You scared me. Barry, right?

Bernard: Bernard.

Roxanne Ritchi: Bernard! I was just, well, I was talking to... myself. You probably think I'm a little bit nuts.

Bernard: I'm not allowed to insult guests directly.

Megamind: [disguised as Bernard] Listen, I wouldn't stay here for more than 2 minutes and 37 seconds. We're having the walls and ceiling removed...

[Megamind set the building to blow]

Roxanne Ritchi: Whoa, that sounds like quite the renovation.

Megamind: [wounded] I'm sorry... I did the best I could...

Roxanne Ritchi: I'm so proud of you.

[Megamind touches his watch, who is actually Minion in disguise]

Roxanne Ritchi: Minion?

Minion: Surprise!

[chuckles nervously]

Minion: He's the real hero!

[points at Megamind disguised as Metro Man]

Roxanne Ritchi: Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City! It's a beautiful day in beautiful downtown, where we're here to honour a beautiful man: Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years, he's been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super-strength and caring for us with his super-heart. Now it's our turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum.

[gestures to her cameraman Hal to cut]

Hal: Wow. Okay, the stuff they make you read on air, that's un-freaking-believable! It's crazy!

Roxanne Ritchi: I wrote that piece myself, Hal!

Hal: What I was trying to say WAS, I can't believe that in our modern society, they let like, actual art get onto the news!

Roxanne Ritchi: Nice save, Hal.

Megamind: [disguised as Bernard] When I was in shc... school, none of the other kids ever liked me.

Roxanne Ritchi: Pity you didn't go to MY school.

Metro Man: Should've known you tried to crash the party!

Metro Man: Oh, I intend to do more than crash it! This is a day you and Metrocity shall not soon forget!

Metro Man: It's pronounced METRO CITY!

Megamind: Oh, potato, tomato, potato, tomato...

Metro Man: We all know how this ends: with YOU behind bars!

Megamind: [sarcastically] Oh, I'm shaking in my custom, baby seal leather boots!

[serious]

Megamind: You will leave Metrocity, or this will be the last you ever hear of... Roxanne Ritchi!

[presses a button to show a captive Roxanne on a separate screen]

Megamind: Huh?

Metro Man: [gasps] Roxanne! Don't panic, Roxy... I'm on my way!

Roxanne Ritchi: Yeah, I'm not panicking.

Megamind: [smirking] In order to stop me, you need to find me first, Metro Man!

Roxanne Ritchi: We're at the abandoned observatory!

Metro Man: A-ha!

Megamind: [lunges for the control and turns off the camera on Roxanne] Nooo! We're NOT! Don't listen to her, she's crazy!

[from trailer]

Roxanne Ritchi: Go faster, make this thing go faster...!

Roxanne Ritchi: [about Metro Man] I thought he'd make one of his last-minute escapes.

Megamind: [disguised as Bernard] Yeah, he was real good at those.

Roxanne Ritchi: If only life had a reset button...

Megamind: [disguised as Bernard] I've looked into the reset button... The science is impossible!

[sniffles]

Megamind: [to Minion] You dimwitted creation of science!

Roxanne Ritchi: [on the phone] Huh?

Megamind: N-not you, I was talking to my... Mother's urn!

Megamind: [disguised as Bernard] Look, that door looks exciting!

Roxanne Ritchi: No, it says "Exit".

Megamind: Which is the abbreviation for "Exciting", right?

Roxanne Ritchi: Metro Man and I were never really a couple.

Megamind: [as Bernard] What? But I thought that you...

Roxanne Ritchi: Everybody did.