Roxanne Kowalski Quotes in Roxanne (1987)


Roxanne Kowalski Quotes:

  • C.D. Bales: [shouting through the front door] Ten more seconds and I'm leaving!

    Roxanne Kowalski: [opening the door] What did you say?

    C.D. Bales: I said, ten more seconds and I'm leaving! Wait a second! What did you think I said?

    Roxanne Kowalski: I thought you said, "Earn more sessions by sleeving."

    C.D. Bales: Well, what the hell does that mean?

    Roxanne Kowalski: I don't know. That's why I came out

  • [Roxanne Kowalski is walking behind a hedge because she is nude]

    Roxanne Kowalski: Nobody had a coat?

    C.D. Bales: I thought you said you didn't want a coat...

    Roxanne Kowalski: Why would I not want a coat?

    C.D. Bales: You said you didn't want a coat!

    Roxanne Kowalski: I was being ironic.

    C.D. Bales: Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a, a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at.

  • [last lines]

    Roxanne Kowalski: By the way, I named the comet.

    C.D. Bales: Oh oh yeah, oh yeah, good ol' Comet Kowalski.

    Roxanne Kowalski: No, Comet Charlie.

    C.D. Bales: Oh, hey... that's nice.

    Roxanne Kowalski: Yeah, it's my dad's name.

    C.D. Bales: Oh... oh. Well, he'll be so happy.

  • C.D. Bales: [about Roxanne's comet] So what do you get if you're right about this thing?

    Roxanne Kowalski: Well, I graduate, that's for sure. And I get to name it.

    C.D. Bales: Oh, that'd be great, kind of historical.

    Roxanne Kowalski: Yeah. "Comet Kowalski."

    C.D. Bales: "Kowalski"? Why? You've got a chance to give it a beautiful name!

    Roxanne Kowalski: That's my name.

    C.D. Bales: It is? Roxanne Kowalski? Oh, heh-heh... sorry.

  • Roxanne Kowalski: You know, I've been thinking about what attracted me to Chris. It wasn't the way he looked. Well, that's not true, at first it was the way he looked. But it was how he made me feel. He made me feel romantic, intelligent, feminine. But it wasn't him doing that, was it? It was you. You and your nose, Charlie. You have a big nose! You have a beautiful, great big, flesh-and-bone nose! I love your nose! I love your nose, Charlie. I love you, Charlie.

    [he stares]

    Roxanne Kowalski: Well?

    C.D. Bales: Are you kidding?

    [he somersaults off the roof of the house]

  • Roxanne Kowalski: I have nothing against cute. I just wish I could meet someone with half a brain this time.

  • Roxanne Kowalski: Maybe you'd like some wine with your nose? Cheese.

  • [after C.D. opens the door to her house]

    Roxanne Kowalski: Do you want to come in...?

    [She comes in, and sees he is already in the kitchen, preparing some cheese and vegetable cutlets]

    C.D. Bales: Uh, I sort of already did. I figured you must be starving, so I just made us some cheese and vegetables, au naturel...

    Roxanne Kowalski: Maybe you'd like some wine with your nose...

    [C.D. cuts a piece of cheese, unusually forcefully]

    Roxanne Kowalski: ...cheese.

  • [unable to sip from a narrow-mouthed wineglass, C.D. sticks his nose into the glass and snorts it]

    C.D. Bales: Party trick. Ah, well, a nose by any other name...

    Roxanne Kowalski: Would smell as sweet.

  • Dixie: Hey, what about your boyfriend? What was his name?

    Roxanne Kowalski: Richard.

    Dixie: When's he coming?

    Roxanne Kowalski: He's not. He's not coming.

    Dixie: What happened?

    Roxanne Kowalski: We just ran out of gas. I guess I mistook sex for love.

    Sandy: Oh, I did that once. It was great.

  • Roxanne Kowalski: When you're getting love letters, you don't go around trying to compare the signature to the handwriting.

    C.D. Bales: You wanna know why? Cause you wanted to believe it. You wanted it all. All the romance and emotion, all wrapped up in a cute little nose and a cute little ass!

  • C.D. Bales: You must know about M31.

    Roxanne Kowalski: Yeah.

    C.D. Bales: Now, see, I like it when they give astronomical objects names, you know, like "Andromeda" and "Saturn" and "Sea of Tranquility." This whole numbering thing is just too boring for us civilians.

    Roxanne Kowalski: Do you know how many objects are up there?

    C.D. Bales: Well, I know it's over fifty.

  • Roxanne Kowalski: Well, if I do change my mind, you'll know because my breasts will be heaving and moist with perspiration.

  • Roxanne Kowalski: You even got me in bed.

    C.D. Bales: Yeah. Yeah, what about that? You went to bed with him on your first date.

    Roxanne Kowalski: Only because you seduced me. I would have never gone to bed with him otherwise.

    C.D. Bales: You still went to bed with him awfully fast! A few frilly words and you're counting ceilling tiles.

    Roxanne Kowalski: I don't even consider that I went to bed with him!

    C.D. Bales: Well, somebody was up there, and it's for goddamn sure it wasn't me!

  • C.D. Bales: [coaching Chris by radio as he woos Roxanne] Reach out your hand.

    Chris McConnell: My hand, out reaching to - car 3, car3! Proceed to the 279.

    Roxanne Kowalski: What?

  • Roxanne Kowalski: So why did you say those things?

    C.D. Bales: Tell her you were afraid.

    Chris McConnell: Because I was afraid.

    Roxanne Kowalski: Of me? Afraid of what?

    C.D. Bales: Tell her you were afraid of words.

    Chris McConnell: What?

    C.D. Bales: Words.

    Chris McConnell: Because I was afraid of worms, Roxanne! Worms!

  • Sandy: He's got a great ass.

    Roxanne Kowalski: Too bad it's on his shoulders.

  • Roxanne Kowalski: Just get out! Go on, get out!

    C.D. Bales: Wait a second, I am out. You get in!

    Roxanne Kowalski: No, get out!

    C.D. Bales: Get in. Go on, get off the porch. Go on get off the porch.

  • Roxanne Kowalski: Hey Charlie? Can I talk to you?

    C.D. Bales: [considers] Well...

  • Roxanne Kowalski: [to Grover the cat, who's got her locked out] I'm gonna have you neutered!

Browse more character quotes from Roxanne (1987)