Roscoe Quotes in Black Dynamite (2009)

Cream Corn: You know what don't make no sense is the service round this motherfucka! Bitch do you see us? I'd like two sausage links, two sausage patties, two hot dogs split down the middle twice, okay? Baloney, fry that into a dome, slice it, take a spatula, smush fry it, and one waffle please.

Waitress: I can get you a waffle, but all we got is the chicken from last night. I can bring you some of that if you want some meat.

Cream Corn: Chicken and waffles?

Roscoe: That's it!

[Roscue runs out excitedly]

Black Dynamite: [after shooting up his business] Sorry Roscoe.

Roscoe: It's cool man. Chili and donuts ain't working out for me no-how. Maybe it's time for a change.

Jason: [looking at the robot that Roscoe has built] Why'd you make him black?

Roscoe: [smiling] Because I wanted him to be perfect.

Princess Karina: How long have you known about this?

Jason: First we've heard of it.

Roscoe: Couple of days.

[Jason and Roscoe look at each other]

Jason: Couple of days.

Roscoe: First we've heard of it.

Killjoy: They don't castrate clergy. Just in case.

Roscoe: Just in case of what?

Killjoy: Just in case there really is a god.

Jason: The manifest

Roscoe: Box B-28

Jason: 28?... 25, 26, 27... B28... oh no

[hands egg to Roscoe]

Roscoe: What is it?

Jason: Space Herpe.

Roscoe: herpe?

Jason: Dormant form. uh - Keep away from heat and - uh - moisture. Extremely dangerous when activated. Antibody - oh boy - unknown.

Jason: I don't mean anything by this but is there any particularly reason that he is black.

Roscoe: [smiling] Sure, I wanted him to be perfect.

Elderly Jason: Oh no, not him again.

[as Zorn enters the ice storage area]

Zorn: You are finished. The seventh world is mine.

Elderly Jason: Come on, Roscoe. You're looking bad.

Roscoe: You don't look to good yourself.

Elderly Jason: They're gaining on us. Well, I guess this is it.

Jason: Here I come, dad!

Elderly Jason: Beat it, Roscoe!

Old Karina: Jason, Jason! It's him, it's... it's him. That's our baby!

Elderly Jason: That is him!

Old Karina: Isn't he beautiful!

Jason: Mom. Dad. We won!

Elderly Jason: He's a chip off the old block.

Zorn: I always hated kids.

Dodger: Roscoe, Roscoe. Is this us losing our sense of humor?

Roscoe: Nah, I ain't lost my sense of humor.

[Kicks over the TV]

Roscoe: See? I find that funny.

Roscoe: You know Rita, I can't figure out why you rather hang around a dump like this when you could be living uptown with a class act like *myself*.

Roscoe: Can Dizzy come out and play?

Roscoe: Lights!

Boys: Fuck you Roscoe...

Roscoe: I said LIGHTS!

Roscoe: Another year, another idiot...

Chopper Pilot: Sir? We can't catch 'em.

Roscoe: Whaddaya mean?

Chopper Pilot: They must be doing 180. We don't even have a fixed-wing that'll go that fast!

Roscoe: This is Roscoe's Last Stand!

Roscoe: One day, Bannon... you *and* Smith!

Roscoe: [looking up at the sky] Why! Why me!

Voice from above: You're an asshole, Roscoe. That's why.

Roscoe: Yo, friends, check this out. Roscoe's the name and they call me the king Grandmaster of the chicken and the waffle thing. I said 'read my lips', and friends, don't miss a word 'cause the Grandmaster's gonna give you the bird!

Roscoe: Now when's the last time you had a wing with a waffle? Well that's too long! It oughta be unlawful!

Rupert Baines: And I suppose you're a dancer too?

Roscoe: No, I'm just effeminate, thank you.

Vance, Jackson, Roscoe: I don't know, but it's been said, I don't know, but it's been said, Redneck pig's gonne end up dead! Redneck pig's gonna end up dead!

Roscoe: Son, your daddy wanted us to teach you honor and integrity. Life is full of choices, Jr, time for yours. Which one of ya'll ain't shipping out of here alive, you, or Miss Scarlet here?

Roscoe: That's what I call irony and gluttony all rolled up into one messy package.

Tex Jr: OK, alright, so... that's it, you're going to let me go now, right?

Roscoe: Oh yes, you will leave this room alive. I gave you my word. That's honor.

Tex Jr: Hah... the room?

Roscoe: Your day will come.

Tex Jr: W-w-w-w-well ok, boss!

Jack: All right, fella, this has gone far enough. Now, listen to me, nobody wants to hurt you any more. But you're sick, and you need some help.

Roscoe: SICK? Oh no, I'm way beyond sick! Hell, Jack, I'm even beyond reality!

Roscoe: Ow! Stop shooting me!

[referring to a "half-man/half-woman" who has given Hercules an alluring look]

Roscoe: I think she likes you - but he don't.

Roscoe: I'm not going to have my wife laying in bed half the day with one of your hangovers.

Roscoe: [whenever he asks only one of the two Siamese twins to stay, and the twins have to leave together] You always use that as a excu-excuse, an alib-b-b-bi.