Roman Quotes in Furious 6 (2013)

Roman: This is crazy. We are not in Brazil. So we got cars flyin' in the air, on some 007 type shit? This is not what we do!

Tej Parker: Man you really gotta check that emotion. Your voice just went from Shaggy to Scooby Doo. This is not what we doooo roo roo!

Roman: [a tank appears on the road] Who's got a plan B?

Tej Parker: Plan B? We need a plan C, D, E. We need more alphabet!

Brian O'Conner: Hey! We do what we do best. We improvise, all right?

Roman: Father thank you for the gathering of friends, Father we give thanks for all the choices we've made because that's what makes us who we are, let us forever cherish the loved ones we've lost along the way; thank you for the little angel, the newest addition to our family, thank you for bringing Letty home, and most of all thank you for fast cars.

Roman: [sees Hobbs walking up the driveway] Hey, Mia, you better hide your baby oil.

[snickers]

Roman: I'm just playing.

Hobbs: [continues walking] And you better hide that big-ass forehead.

[Tej spits out his drink from laughing so hard]

Roman: [mumbling] I was just joking, but whatever.

Roman: I don't know, man. That was disrespectful. And I don't like the way she said it, like,

[imitates Giselle]

Roman: 'He's a man.'

[normal voice]

Roman: "He's a man"? So, what are we?

Han: Come on, she's just doing her job.

Roman: 'Doing her job.' I see what's going on.

Han: See what?

Roman: You got the little stardust in your eyes, eh? Little birds floating around a little bit.

[whistles then laughs]

Roman: Uh, you don't want to lease this model. You want to buy.

Han: Can you please stop talking?

Roman: No, no, you're in love! Look at you!

[laughs]

Han: Just stop.

Roman: [finishes laugh] You got special plans? Big day? You're going to invite us all out? Better make sure you get her a big rock, man, 'cause she doesn't look like she'll be that easily impressed. And if it's not a big rock, you better be big somewhere else. You know what I'm talking about.

[laughs then nudges Han]

Han: That's why all your girlfriends wear so much bling, huh?

[Roman is trying to figure out the amount on his coins for the vending machine]

Roman: Hey, uh, which one of these is like a dollar?

[Hobbs shoots the vending machine]

Hobbs: It's on the house.

Roman: [When chasing Owen Shaw on a runway at the military base] Where the hell does this dude think he's going? We're on an army base, he's trapped.

Tej Parker: [Suddenly, emerging large cargo aircraft] Wow, you just had to open your mouth. Now we got a big-ass plane to deal with.

Roman: That ain't a plane. That's a planet.

Roman: I thought that was our last job, Brian. So now we work for the Hulk? That's what we're doing? Why do I smell baby oil?

Hobbs: If you keep running your piehole, you're gonna smell an ass-kicking.

[Roman asks Tej for change to use the vending machine]

Tej Parker: You're a millionaire and still asking for money?

Roman: That's how you stay a millionaire.

Roman: Somebody do something! I've got a tank on my ass!

[Letty approaches Elena]

Tej Parker: This is gonna be awkward...

Tej Parker, Roman: ...but sexy as hell!

[Hobbs has just asked Dom to reassemble his team in order to take down Owen Shaw. We cut to an airplane soaring through the sky]

Roman: [Roman is in a plane full of hot girls en route to Macau, and is handing out Champagne to them] All right, ladies. Bring it in. I want to make a toast. Come on.

[Sits down in between two hot girls at the rear of the plane]

Roman: Listen, I know a few of y'all have already been to Macau, but you have never seen the town till you've seen it through my eyes. We've got a penthouse suite with an ocean view that's gonna change your life. 150 foot yacht with a helicopter pad. Hm-hmm. Safe to say, you're about to have to time of your lives.

Hot Girl: No, you are!

Hot Girl: Cheers!

[Scene cuts to Costa Rica where we see a Ferrari parked in the middle of a street. We pan to see Tej at an ATM withdrawing money. A person speaks to him in Spanish]

Santiago: [In Spanish] Hey, Tej. Look at you, rolling in a Ferrari, pockets full of cash!

Benito: [In Spanish] Yeah, man. You used to be all Robin Hood, sharing all the money you got.

Santiago: [In Spanish] You know what I'm telling you. Money changed you.

Tej Parker: [In Spanish] You're right. It has changed me. I realized that money doesn't grow on trees. It rains from the sky!

[Tej presses a button, and the ATM shoots out money]

Tej Parker: [Scene cuts to Hong Kong, where Han and Giselle are at the food stand in the middle of a plaza. Giselle is at a window ordering food in Cantonese]

Gisele: [Speaking to the server in Cantonese] Thank you... it looks delicious.

Han: [Shocked that Giselle knows Cantonese] Nice.

Gisele: [Sitting down at the table] I'm a citizen of the world.

Han: Ever thought about settling down, starting a life together?

Gisele: Aren't we doing that?

Han: Are we?

[Suddenly, the plaza is stormed by Chinese Police officers. Giselle and Han draw their guns, and are told not to shoot]

Lead Chinese Agent: [In Cantonese] Put your guns down... NOW!

[the female police officer presses a button on her cell phone, and throws it to Han. We then cut to Tej in Costa Rica and Roman on the plane as their phones are going off before returning to Han and Giselle in Hong Kong]

Han: Hello? Dom?

Tej Parker: [Scene cuts back to Costa Rica where Tej is on the phone] I'll be there.

Roman: [Scene cuts back to the plane where Roman is hanging up his phone]

[to pilot]

Roman: Hey, my man, I need you to turn this plane around.

[to girls on plane]

Roman: Okay, listen. So, ladies, there's been a little change of plans. Something came up. You know that casino I was telling you all about. I've got some vouchers to the buffet.

[We get a look at the profile of Roman's plane. The tail says "It's Roman, Bitches!"]

[after Roman and Han lose in a fistfight with Jah at the Waterloo Station]

Roman: No one needs to know about this. No one.

Tej Parker: [after seeing the tank come out of the large military vehicle]

[through walkie-talkie]

Tej Parker: Uh, guys, we might wanna come up with another plan! They got a tank!

Roman: [through walkie-talkie] I'm sorry, did someone just say "a *TANK*"?

Dominic Toretto: How 'bout you tell us where that device is?

Ramsey: I mailed it to a friend. In Abu Dhabi.

Brian O'Conner: That was pretty easy. That other team wanted to torture you for that information.

Ramsey: I didn't trust them. I trust you.

Letty: [Letty scoffs] Now why would you trust us? You barely know us.

Ramsey: I know enough.

[looks at Brian]

Ramsey: Ex-cop. Military, something like that. The way you took out those guys shows training.

[looks at Tej]

Ramsey: Tech guy, offended by the hacker remark, naturally.

[looks at Dom and Letty]

Ramsey: Alpha. Ms. Alpha.

[looks at Roman]

Ramsey: Joker.

Roman: Wrong.

[stands up and smiles]

Roman: Double alpha. Man-candy. You know what I'm saying?

Tej: [everyone laughs] Man, sit your candy ass down.

Roman: [Roman stops smiling and sits down] The disrespect is real around here.

Roman: I'm back, bitches!

Roman: [an armed UAV is in pursuit of the car in which are Tej, Roman and Ramsey] First a tank, then a plane, now we got a spaceship?

Tej: That's not a spaceship, that's a drone.

Roman: Oh, it's a drone? Now you're gonna be articulate and break it down like you already know what the hell is going on?

Tej: Shut your ass and drive the car!

Roman: First a tank, then a plane... Now we got a spaceship?

Tej: That's not a spaceship, that's a drone!

Roman: Oh it's a drone? Now you gonna break it down and be articulate... like you already know what the hell is going on?

Tej: Shut your ass up and drive the car!

Roman: [about the prince's party] They're telling me they party here like this every day. I might have to move out here. I think I'm gonna start a new culture, It's called Blarab, you know, like black Arab.

Roman: [after Tej parachutes his car from the plane] I hate you, Tej!

Roman: [at Han's funeral] Promise me something, Brian. I don't wanna go to any more funerals.

Brian O'Conner: Only one more.

[spots Deckard Shaw's car driving by]

Brian O'Conner: His.

Roman: [after Tej ejects his car out of the plane] I hate you, Tej!

Roman: Uh, can we help you?

Lenny Cole: You've got an act called "The Quid Lickers".

Roman: We did, yeah.

Lenny Cole: Hmm... And there's a singer called "Johnny Quid".

Roman: There was.

Lenny Cole: Well, I'd like to see Mr. Quid.

Roman: I'd like to see him too, but uh that's gonna be a little tricky because according to the papers, the only songs Mr. Quid's gonna be singing are hymns

Lenny Cole: And I shed a tear. I shed a tear for all those bone-tops that read the papers and believe that shit. But did you see his body? Did you see him smacked-up and cracked-up with his tongue on his chin and his cock in his hand, swinging from the rafters like a real RocknRolla? No, you didn't, did you? And nobody else fucking did either, did they? Because he ain't dead. He's alive, alive-o somewhere selling cockles and mussels and a very important painting that doesn't belong to him.

Roman: He did the stare and drive on you, didn't he? He got that from me.

Brian O'Connor: You ready for this?

Roman: Come on, man. Guns, murderers and crooked cops? I was made for this, bro.

[Brian turns his car around and drives backwards down the highway]

Roman: CRAZY-ASS WHITE BOY!

[Carter is being arrested]

Roman: Don't drop the soap, big homie!

Brian O'Connor: I hope you know when he gets out, he's gonna kill your ass.

Roman: He ain't getting out.

Carter Verone: [smirking at Roman] I'll see you soon.

Roman: [nervously] You think he gonna get out?

Brian O'Connor: He'll be out.

Roman: No, for real. You think he getting out?

Roman: [to Enrique and Roberto] Verone pay ya'll to keep a straight face like that? 'Cause If I was makin' money, shit, I'd get that mole removed off my damn nose.

Roman: Only my homeboys call me Rome, pig.

[to Roberto]

Roman: Enjoyin' the ride? Man, it's a fast car, huh? Man, it's a classic. Old school. American muscle. Man, this car can do all kinda things, man. Wanna see?

Roman: Man, it's a hoasis in here, breh

Brian O'Connor: Yeah, lots of potential

Carter Verone: Hey, you! Your pockets aren't empty.

Roman: [under his breath] Damn.

Carter Verone: I'll take my cutter back.

Brian O'Connor: Stupid ass.

Roman: [hands the cigar cutter back to Carter] Hey, man, I figured you had, like 12 or 13...

Carter Verone: [cuts Roman off] You not too bright, are you? Just get out of here. Get out of here.

Brian O'Connor: [Grabs Roman] Same old Rome, doing the same old stupid shit

Roman: [Shoves Brian off] Get up off me man

Brian O'Connor: Listen, running your mouth? Insulting people? Stealing Verone's shit?

Roman: You thing ima let somebody stare me down? I ain't let nobody stare me down in jail homeboy. You think ima let it fly on the beach?

Roman: [Mocking Carter]

Brian O'Connor: "And you; I'll take my cutter back" Rich ass...

Brian O'Connor: And you're packing!

Roman: Like you ain't!

Roman: [Looks at Roman then walks away]

Roman: Exactly...

Roman: Fuentes in with Verone, Markham trying to blow our cover and we got two wired cars that are better than that ankle braclet of mine. Ima tell you, bro. You let your man, Markham do that shit again in front of Verone, that gonna be our ass.

Brian O'Connor: I know man its getting thick real quick. We need some way out through some kind of exit strategy.

Roman: Exit strategy, huh?

Brian O'Connor: Yeah.

Roman: [Roman takes a bite out of his sandwich] I like the way that sounds. Wachu got in mind?

Brian O'Connor: I don't know man, but we need two more cars.

Roman: You're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do.

Brian O'Connor: Yeah, I think so.

Roman: Damn! Where'd ya'll confiscate these rims from, man?

Roman: [to Enrique and Roberto] How much he pay ya'll anyway? Every time I see ya'll, man, ya'll got the silk shirts on, jewelry, you know, lookin' real Miami. You know? I caught you walkin' up in the club, you got the hamburger meat all hangin' out, you know?

Brian O'Connor: Man, when you start eating so much?

Roman: I was in jail, breh. I know how shitty the grub is on the inside. With the way things are shaping up out here right now, it'll be a matter of time before I'm back in there, or dead. So I'm trying to eat all I can, while I can. Plus, the doctor tell me I got a high metabolism.

Roman: What this job you have for us anyway?

Carter Verone: Come with me. The house has ears in it.

[Carter tosses his cigar out]

Carter Verone: I have something I want you to carry from North Beach to the Keys.

Brian O'Connor: What is it?

Carter Verone: Just put in the car what I tell you to, drive it to me and don't let anybody stop you. Understand?

Brian O'Connor: Yeah. Any chance of cop trouble?

Carter Verone: No. I'm buying you a window of time, but it's not gonna be open very long. You make it, and I'll personally hand you a hundred G's at the finish line.

Roman: [getting greedy] Make it a hundred G's a piece, papi. Look, man, obviously, your pockets ain't nervous.

Carter Verone: [Roman reaches for Carter's left pocket when he grabs his hand] Hey, hey, hey! Don't ever touch me.

Roman: Ours are empty. Like I said, we hungry.

[Carter reveals the package was a cigar]

Roman: We did all that for a damn cigar?

Carter Verone: No. You did that for a job.

Roman: Kiss my ass, Putos!

Roman: Why must I chase the cat?

Roman: I gotta go to the John, I'll be right back. Gonna introduce Mr Thick Dick to Mr Urinal Cake!

Roman: [while barbequing lobsters] How about the gourmet here, you know what he wanted? Hotdogs! You know what they make those things out of, Chet? You know? Lips and assholes!

[Chet is eating the last bite of the 96 ounce steak]

Roman: I think that just about does it.

Grill Chef: He's not done yet!

Roman: It might take him a moment for that last bite to go down, but it will go down!

Grill Chef: That ain't the last bite!

Roman: Well sure it is, there is nothing on that plate but gristle and fat!

[the Chef raises his eyebrows]

Roman: No Problem. If i can get a dessert down him, think you can throw in a couple of Paul Bunyan hat's for the kids?

Roman: Good evening. How's it going? Listen, girls... uh... as your father, I feel it incumbent upon me to set the record straight on the validity of the tale which Uncle Chet shared with us this evening. I know that a terrifying story like that coming from the mouth of a recognized authority figure could be traumatizing for kids like yourselves; I know that, because I had a similar experience with my uncle Roy and a story he used to tell, about a family who went into the woods and was attacked by a band of escaped Army psychiatric patients who'd been subjected to violent, hellish, torturous behavior-modification experiments. It seems they escaped from the metal boxes the Army kept them in, found his family in the woods, fell upon them, slaughtered them and ate them. Now that story - phew - it gave me nightmares not to be believed. Well I thought that Uncle Chet's story upset you in the same way. I'm here to say that there actually is NO bear, and that all that Uncle Chet was saying was just a yarn... spinning for our... entertainment. And even if there were a bear out there, I'm in the house. To protect you. So uh... no more thinking about bears. Alright? No more thinking about unpleasant things. We're gonna close our eyes and dream about nice things. About cuddly, soft, fluffy things. Okay? Super. Good night. Sleep tight.

[Chet is being pulled by the boat on water-skies at high speed]

Chet: You bastard! You bastard!

Roman: I think he's saying go faster.

Roman: Personally, I'd rather see a 46 inch bust singing "Burnin' Love."

Roman: You wouldn't know a good time if it fell out of the sky and landed on your face and started to wiggle!

[the family has just returned from a restaurant where Chet finished a 96oz steak. They find that raccoons have overturned the garbage cans]

Roman: Look at the size of the maggots on that meat!

Roman: I think we should go into town tomorrow and pick up a ski boat. Whaddya say? Sound good, guys? Uncle Roman'll blow some coin on a kick-ass drag boat!

Chet: That's OK, we're renting a pontoon boat.

Roman: Pontoon boat? What the hell are you gonna do with a pontoon boat? Retake Omaha Beach?

Kate Craig: Ahh!

[Kate and Roman run out of their bedroom]

Roman: What?

Kate Craig: It touched me!

Roman: It's been touching you for 12 years, you never freak!

Kate Craig: Not you!

[Kate hits Roman on the arm]

Kate Craig: A thing.

Roman: What thing?

Chet: [Comes out of his bedroom, along with the rest of the family, and turns on the lights] What's going on?

Kate Craig: That thing!

[Points to a bat]

Roman: Oh, it's just a little sparrow.

Kate Craig: C'mon Roman, it's got ears!

Buck Ripley: Jesus!

[Everyone screams and runs out of the cabin]

Roman: Why do Chet's kids look at him like he's Zeus and my kids look at me like I'm a rack of lawn tools at Sears?

Roman: Honey?

Kate Craig: [in the shower] Yes?

Roman: How come Chet's kids look at him like he's Zeus and ours look at me like I'm a rack of yard tools at Sears? Why can't they connect with me?

Kate Craig: Well, maybe if you spent less time at work and more time with us, it would...

Roman: Put a cork in it honey, I'm on the phone!

[Chet's brother-in-law Roman Craig and his family have arrived, unannounced, at the holiday resort]

Roman: What a gas! Chet's gonna shit a solid gold brick when he sees us, what a great surprise!

Kate Craig: [during a big row] Roman, why don't we just get out of here, come on honey. Come on girls, let's go!

Roman: Good idea.

[they go upstairs]

Chet: Well, it's the first good idea you've had since you've been here. And by the way, don't steal any of our stuff.

Kate Craig: Ha ha, what stuff is there to steal?

Connie Ripley: We got stuff!

Roman: [Chet, Roman, and the kids are out fishing and are putting bait on their hooks] These are the biggest worms I have ever encountered.

Chet: They're not worms, they're leeches.

Chet: You'll have to excuse my brother-in-law. He gets a couple of cocktails in him and he becomes an expert on everything.

Roman: I don't need cocktails for that. Was that a shot?

Chet: No, that was the truth.

Roman: Oh, that was a shot!

Chet: That... was a shot.

Roman: [to the bartender] Speaking of shots, set us up!

[Chet and Roman are arguing]

Chet: You've got an awful lot of nerve, Roman, a lot of nerve.

Roman: It's served me well, I'm the one with the Mercedes.

Chet: By the way, is it paid for?

Roman: Are you jealous? Chester!

Chet: Don't call me Chester! Call me that one more time and you're gonna go home with a dent in your forehead!

Kate Craig: Oh yeah, that'll be the day!

Chet: Would you like one to match his?

Roman: [raising his fists] Hey, take it easy! You wanna go right now?

Buck Ripley: [breaking them apart] Dad, dad, dad. No one's denting anybody.

Roman: Thanks, Bucky.

Buck Ripley: Oh, bite the big one, Uncle Roman!

Connie Ripley: Hey, don't talk to adults that way!

Buck Ripley: Why not?

Roman: Because it's rude.

Connie Ripley: Oh, blow it out your ass!

Roman: Looks like you're wanking your crank

Roman: Look at this photo. I would like for someone to say that they're sorry for killing my family.

Roman: Maybe I should spend less time at the cemetery. The only thing is that Nadiya and Olena are there. They can't leave. So I go there and visit them, because... they can't go anywhere. They can't...

Roman: How does that happen?

Lucy: The tide gets too high. They do this every Spring. They cross the river to get to the other side, and one leads. The second one follows the first one. The third one follows that second one. Sometimes there's thousands of them. And if the first one loses ground, then it's over. The second one becomes the leader and he loses ground. And the third one follows him and loses ground. And it keeps going like that until they all drown.

Lucy: I had a nightmare.

Roman: What was it?

Lucy: Running through this tunnel, and someone was following me. And I was trying to run away and I couldn't run - my legs were frozen. And this man was right behind me. I was screaming, screaming, and screaming. I was trying to get someone to help me. And I couldn't make a sound, so no one was coming. And he was right behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder and I woke up.

Roman: [explaining a song lyric] The spirits are your parents. And they live in your bloodstream because they want you to keep living. And... they're trying to tell you shit all the time. And maybe if you just took a second to listen to yourself, you would hear them.

Lucy: You think we're like the caribou who cross the river even if they know they're gonna drown? We keep following people and things. And we know it's gonna kill us someday, but we keep doing it.

Roman: I don't know. Maybe it's a good thing, you know? You live your life, and you're not afraid to die. You do what you have to do, because most of the time it works out the way it's supposed to, you know? Then you don't lose your ground. You don't lose your ground. You cross the river, and you grow up, and you live free and proud, 'cause you crossed the river, even if you were scared. You crossed the river inside. You walked across your fear, because *that's* the biggest river to cross. You dive in, and the water's warm. And It feels good. And the people you love are following you, and you follow the people you love. And maybe, one day, you won't make it, but that's OK, 'cause that's how it is. Nobody knows when the water's gonna get too high. You just try and hope for the best. You just don't give up. That's what's important.

Lucy: [eating from a 30-year old tin of corned beef] It tastes like shit.

Roman: Yeah, it's supposed to taste like shit - it's corned beef.

American Hunter: [looking at the human remains box on the plane] Who is it?

Roman: Tom.

American Hunter: Tom who?

Roman: Tom with the blue pickup.

American Hunter: What happened?

Roman: He got lost.

Roman: You know why I moved here in the first place? Because I broke my ankle. I broke my ankle... because I kicked my dad in the face too hard. And I kicked my dad in the face too hard... because he wouldn't stop beating on my mom and me and I wanted to show him that I was stronger than him... and that he couldn't pull that shit anymore.

Lucy: Will you come south with me? Please. Please!

Roman: Yes.

Lucy: There's only one problem.

Roman: What's that?

Lucy: I spent all my money to come here and have sex with you for 20 minutes.

Roman: [stuck in the ice] Tell me another joke.

Lucy: I don't have another fucking joke. The joke is if you don't get your ass out of there, I'm gonna come down and kick it. How's that for a fucking joke?

Roman: I like the bear joke better!

Roman: Each woman is a universe.

Hypnotist: Relax. You hear nothing, but the sound of my voice. When your heart slows down, so will your thoughts. 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Who are you?

Roman: Ryan

Sidney: God why don't stop your whining and get on with it. I've heard all this shit before.

Roman: Stop.

Sidney: Do you know why you kill people Roman? Do you?

Roman: I don't want to hear it.

Sidney: Because you choose to. There is no one else to blame.

Roman: Damnit fucking damnit!

Sidney: Why don't you take some fucking responsibility?

Roman: Fuck you.

Sidney: Fuck you.

Phone Voice: You're not going anywhere Sidney. It's time you came to terms with me, and with mother. Maybe you never knew her at all Sidney... maybe you just can't get past the surface of things.

Sidney: Who the hell are you?

Phone Voice: The other half of you. I searched for a mother too, an actress named "Reena Reynolds" tried to find her my whole LIFE, and four years ago I actually tracked her down. Knocked at her door thinking she'd welcome me with open arms, but she had a new life and a new name, Maureen Prescott! You were the only child she claimed Sidney. She shut me out into the cold forever! Her own son.

[takes off mask to reveal he is Roman Bridger]

Roman: Roman Bridger, director, and brother. She slammed the door in my face, Sid. She said I was "Reena's" child and Reena was dead... and then it struck me. What a good idea, so I watched her. I made a little movie, a little family film. Seems Maureen..."Mom"... she really got around. I mean Cotton was one thing; everybody knew about that. But Billy's father - that was the key. Your boyfriend didn't like seeing his daddy in my film too much. He didn't like it at all. And once I supplied the motivation... all the kid needed was a few pointers. Have a partner to sell out incase you got caught, find someone to frame, it was like he was making a movie.

Sidney: You... this is all because of you.

Roman: I'm a director Sid, I direct.

Sidney: Ah.

Roman: I had no idea, that they were gonna make a film of their own. I mean intoducing Sidney the victim, Sidney the survivor, SIDNEY THE STAR!

Roman: I'm gonna check this place out.

Tyson Fox: Woah, woah, just wait one damn minute! There's a psycho killer on the loose and you wanna go traipsing around this gigantic mansion? Have you ever actually seen the Stab movies? Every time this dude enters a room he ends up a god damn shishkabob!

Milton: You don't have to do this, Roman! Just tell me what you want, I can make it happen! Any picture, name your budget, script approval, final cut!

Roman: I already have it.

[Roman cuts Milton's throat]

Roman: Not only did they-did they kill the film, but they killed my cast. You know, nobody's gonna wanna work with me. Variety called me a "pariah." I don't even know what a pariah is. Why-why couldn't somebody have killed the cast from Stab 1, huh? Or Stab 2? Why me? What, John, what did we do wrong?

Milton: Hollywood is full of criminals whose careers are flourishing.

Roman: I'm not a criminal. I was questioned. Yeah, but that's all. I was questioned. That's it.

Milton: It's good for your mystique.

Roman: You think it'll help me get work?

Roman: Someone is trying to ruin my movie. Someone wants to kill my movie.

Detective Wallace: We'll talk about your movie down at the station. All right, this is the scene where you come with us.

Jennifer: Happy birthday, Roman.

Roman: Yeah, as if life isn't tragic enough.

Dr. Wimmer: What is your name?

Roman: You know, good friends call me Roman.

Dr. Wimmer: I'm not your good friend.

Roman: I was afraid of that.

Roman: People think you gotta wash your hands after you take a piss. As if your dick is filthy. My penis is immaculate, it's been in my trousers all day long where it belongs. Now my hands, they're filthy dirty. You should have to wash your hands before you to take a piss.

Isis, the Girl: Do I have something on my face?

Roman: Yes.

Isis, the Girl: What?

Roman: Pretty eyes.

Isis, the Girl: My mother would like this face.

Roman: She got a number?

Roman: What was a dolphin doing wearing a blindfold?

Isis, the Girl: No, you pay me all the compliments you like, it's good for the ego.

Roman: I like your elbows.

Isis, the Girl: That one's a little weird

Isis, the Girl: I think it's good to be curious. One shouldn't just sit around and wonder about stuff, you should go out and find out what it's all about. Because otherwise you sit around just tortured by your curiousity, and then you'll make up some twisted answer inside your head, just to satisfy yourself. And you'll never really know what the truth is. It's torturous.

Roman: Wondering how pork and beans are made tortured you?