Roland Yates Quotes in Bad Company (2002)

Roland Yates: Don't worry, son, there'll be extra money for this mission.

Jake Hayes: Hey, man, first of all, I'm not your son. Second of all, did it ever occur to you that I might want to do something 'cause it's the right thing? Hey, I'm the one with the dead brother, I'm the one who misses his girl, and I'm supposed to put up with your shit 'cause you're a spy? Big deal! Every woman on the planet's a spy! Man, you guys can't even find Saddam Hussein! You know, if you told a woman, right now at 8:00 in the morning, that her husband was sleeping with Saddam Hussein, she'd be able to find Saddam by 8:00 that night, and say "Saddam, don't you ever come around my house no more!" Hey, I did you a favor, OK? You called me! Now, if you ever talk down to me again, I will beat your ass so bad you'll be the only guy in heaven with a wheelchair. You better act right before you get smacked right, Bitch.

Roland Yates: So, what are our chances?

Gaylord Oaks: Oh, I'd say anywhere between... nil and zero.

Roland Yates: Why do you say that?

Gaylord Oaks: Oh well, I grant you he's got potential. He's pretty street-smart. Give me six months, he could probably fool his brother's own parents. But eight days? Come on, you gotta be kidding me. He'll probably get himself killed, and everyone who goes along with him.

Jake Hayes: [goofing around with Czech/English dictionary]

Roland Yates: What's he saying?

Officer Swanson: He said, "I haven't had my period in 3 months".

Jake Hayes: [continues stringing Czech words together]

Roland Yates: Now what?

Officer Swanson: "Where is the hospital, I have a vaginal infection."

Roland Yates: If it breathes, it dies.