Rod Tidwell Quotes in Jerry Maguire (1996)

[Rod has just told Jerry he will keep him as his agent]

Jerry Maguire: That's, that's great. I'm very... happy.

Rod Tidwell: Are you listenin'?

Jerry Maguire: Yes!

Rod Tidwell: That's what I'm gonna do for you: God bless you, Jerry. But this is what you gonna do for me. You listenin', Jerry?

Jerry Maguire: Yeah, what, what, what can I do for you, Rod? You just tell me what can I do for you?

Rod Tidwell: It's a very personal, a very important thing. Hell, it's a family motto. Are you ready, Jerry?

Jerry Maguire: I'm ready.

Rod Tidwell: I wanna make sure you're ready, brother. Here it is: Show me the money. Oh-ho-ho! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! A-ha-ha! Jerry, doesn't it make you feel good just to say that! Say it with me one time, Jerry.

Jerry Maguire: Show you the money.

Rod Tidwell: Oh, no, no. You can do better than that, Jerry! I want you to say it with you, with meaning, brother! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line; I bet you he can say it!

Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. Show you the money.

Rod Tidwell: No! Not show you! Show me the money!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Yeah! Louder!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Yes, but, brother, you got to yell that shit!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: I need to feel you, Jerry!

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Jerry, you got to yell!

Jerry Maguire: [screaming] Show me the money! Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Do you love this black man!

Jerry Maguire: I love the black man! Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: I love black people.

Jerry Maguire: I love black people!

Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker, Jerry?

Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!

Rod Tidwell: Whatcha gonna do, Jerry?

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

Rod Tidwell: Unh! Congratulations, you're still my agent.

Rod Tidwell: [while leaving the stadium after a game] Maybe you don't. Because it's not just the money I deserve. It's not just the "coin." It's the... - "the kwan".

Jerry Maguire: That's your word?

Rod Tidwell: Yeah, man, it means love, respect, community... and the dollars too. The package. The kwan.

Jerry Maguire: But how did you get "kwan?"

Rod Tidwell: I got there from "coin," dude. Coin, coin... kwaaaan.

Rod Tidwell: I feel for you, man. But a real man wouldn't shoplift the pootie from a single mom.

Jerry Maguire: I didn't shoplift the pootie.

[Rod gives him a long Look]

Jerry Maguire: All right. I shoplifted the pootie.

Jerry Maguire: [while on a plane] What are you doing with me, Rod?

Rod Tidwell: Why?

Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty-four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!

Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-fucking-hoo

Rod Tidwell: [over the phone] I am a valuable commodity! I go across the middle! I see a dude coming at me, trying to kill me, I tell myself "Get killed. Catch the ball!' BOO YA! Touchdown! I make miracles happen!

Jerry Maguire: Rod...

Rod Tidwell: I'm from Arizona, Jerry! I broke Arizona records! I went to Arizona State! I'm a Sun Devil, man!

Jerry Maguire: And now you want Arizona dollars?

Rod Tidwell: Exaaaacctly!

Rod Tidwell: [while on a plane] Anyone else would have left you by now, but I'm sticking with you. And if I have to ride your ass like Zorro, you're gonna show me the money.

Rod Tidwell: You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!

Rod Tidwell: [while on a plane] I got a shelf life of ten years, tops. My next contract's gotta bring me the dollars that'll last me and mine a long time. Shit, I'm out of this sport in 5 years. What's my family gonna live on? Huh?

Jerry Maguire: [while leaving the stadium after a game] How's your head?

Rod Tidwell: Bubblicious.

Rod Tidwell: [over the phone] Jerry Maguire... How'm I doing? I'm sweating, dude! I'm sweatin' my contract! I'm sweating Bob Sugar calling me, telling me I'm missing the big endorsements by being with you! THAT'S how I'm doing - I'm sweating, dude!

Jerry Maguire: I started talking to Dennis Wilburn about your re-negotiation this morning.

Rod Tidwell: [after stepping out of the shower] Talking. Jerry Rice, Andre Reed, Chris Carter... I smell all these fools. They are making the big sweet dollars. They are making the... quan, and you are talking.

Rod Tidwell: [to Jerry] You tell me to eat lima beans, I'll eat lima beans

Rod Tidwell: [to Jerry] Quit using that word. "Quan", that's my word!

Rod Tidwell: [to Jerry] You bet on me like I bet on you.

Rod Tidwell: Jerry Maguire, my agent. You're my ambassador of Kwan.

Rod Tidwell: [sarcastically to Jerry] Is it my imagination or, didn't we arrive in a limo?

Rod Tidwell: [to Jerry] No, I air-dry.

Rod Tidwell: [after showing up late to his game] Thanks for coming.

Jerry Maguire: I missed ya. What can I say? You're all I've got.

Rod Tidwell: [while on a plane] Ya know! Ya know! We're together on this one! Ya know! Ya know!

Jerry Maguire: Oh my god.

Roy Firestone: [On his talk show] your father leaves on Christmas Eve and leaves your family all alone. Your mother had to sweep out the steps of the prison just to earn enough money for tuition for you, your brother loses his leg in a tragic bass fishing accident: there's been a list of horrific things that have happened to you

Rod Tidwell: You're not going to make me cry

Roy Firestone: We have some very good news. This has just been handed to me, it's a memo that's signed it's a contract guaranteed to the Arizona Cardinals for four years $11.2 million.

Jerry Maguire: What'd you know about dating a single mother?

Rod Tidwell: [after filming a commercial] Plenty, I was raised by a single mother.

Jerry Maguire: Tell me everything because after this I think she's going to have to take that job in San Diego.

Rod Tidwell: Single mothers don't date they've been to the circus they've been to the puppet shows and they've seen the strings do you love her?

Jerry Maguire: How do I know?

Rod Tidwell: What'd you mean? How do you know? You know when you know.

Jerry Maguire: I don't want her to go, we hang out at her place a lot

Rod Tidwell: Wait a minute that's bullshit you have to be fair to her a single mother is a scared thing you've got to have the talk, she loves you, if you don't love her you've got to tell her.

Jerry Maguire: [Over the phone] I hear what you're saying and that's why I'm calling.

Rod Tidwell: I hear that you hear what I'm saying, but do you truly "hear" what I'm saying? Didn't you tell my wife more "personal attention"? Did you not tell my wife more "personal attention"?

Jerry Maguire: I said more "personal attention".

Rod Tidwell: We need to get started on my list of things you need to know: you can take notes if you want to, I'm sitting here with an ant problem I got ants going up and down my hallway my brother's room has a flood. My house is falling apart, nobody's looking out for me, we don't know where we'll be living in a year and I'm supposed to be a superstar. I am a role model, I have a family to support I like you, my wife likes you your good to my wife I will stay with you.