Rocco Melonchek Quotes in Brain Donors (1992)
Rocco Melonchek Quotes:
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Rocco Melonchek: You're lying.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Of course I am, but hear me out!
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Roland T. Flakfizer: So, do you enjoy being a cab driver?
Rocco Melonchek: Nah. As soon as I get my driver's license, I'm quitting.
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[the amount on a taxi meter is rising quickly]
Roland T. Flakfizer: Aren't those numbers going by a little fast?
Rocco Melonchek: You're probably just a speed reader.
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Rocco Melonchek: We'll have to perform a full rectum-ology.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Fondue, an epidemic! drop those pants... Not you, the patient.
Doctor: I thought you were cardiologists...
Rocco Melonchek: Uh, well, they're all connected, we enter the rectum and head north.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Why do you think we have such long instruments?
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Roland T. Flakfizer: You're not going to try and cheat me or anything.
Rocco Melonchek: I give you my word a gentleman.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Well you had me until then.
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Rocco Melonchek: [checking Mrs. Oglethorpe's pulse] I don't feel a thing. This woman is dead!
Flakfizer: You're holding *his* wrist!
Rocco Melonchek: Then this man is dead!
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Jacques: Society's to blame.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Too much violence in the movies.
Rocco Melonchek: It's my environment.
Jacques: We were carrying out orders!
Roland T. Flakfizer: It's the Japanese. They're buying up everything.
Rocco Melonchek: Did we leave anything out?
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Roland T. Flakfizer: You can be my chauffeur.
Rocco Melonchek: How much?
Roland T. Flakfizer: 200 bucks a week.
Rocco Melonchek: 600.
Roland T. Flakfizer: 300.
Jacques: 400.
Rocco Melonchek: 800.
Jacques: 900.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Wait a minute, wait a minute! Shouldn't I be in this negotiation somewhere? 350 and not a penny more.
Rocco Melonchek: I'll take it.
Jacques: What happened to one thousand?
Rocco Melonchek: I allow for taxes. I want four weeks in advance.
Jacques: Five weeks.
Rocco Melonchek: Six weeks.
Roland T. Flakfizer: Hold it, hold it, I'm giving you one minute to stop all this!
Rocco Melonchek: Two minutes.
Jacques: Five minutes.
Rocco Melonchek: Seven minutes.
Jacques: Nine minutes.
Roland T. Flakfizer: I've stepped into my own private living hell...
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