Rocco Quotes in The Boondock Saints (1999)
Rocco: Fuckin'- What the fuckin'. Fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks...
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink sh-sh-ships.
Rocco: Doc, I gotta buy you, like, a proverb book or something. This mix'n'match shit's gotta go.
Connor: A penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?
Murphy: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen.
Yakavetta: I'm having a shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny joke.
Rocco: Now? A joke? Uh... um, uh... A joke. Yeah, alright. Um... There's these, uh, three guys, uh... a-a-a-a spic, a-a-a-a white guy and a black guy.
Rocco: Yeah, n-n- Yeah. And-and they walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, you know, "You wish for anything you want." So, he asks, uh-uh, Mexican what-what he wants, and he goes, uh, uh, "I want, uh, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico." And so, genie - Poof! And, all the spics are in Mexico. And then he asks the black guy...
Vincenzo Lipazzi: Nigger.
Rocco: Yeah, that's what I said. Goes to the, uh- uh, nigger, says, uh, "What do you want?" And he goes, um, uh, "I want all my African- my nigger brothers in America to be back in Africa and-and happy and everything." You know? So, genie goes poof! And, um, all the niggers in America are in Africa. And, uh, uh, uh, this is go- I'm not funny today. I-I know. I'm havin' a hard day. I-I-I- This joke sucks. It's-it's-it's a stupid joke.
Yakavetta: Continue the joke.
Rocco: So the genie says to the white guy, uh, um, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy goes, "You mean to tell me all the niggers and spics are out of America?" Genie goes, "Yeah." He says, "Well, um, I'll have a Coke, then."
Connor: We haven't really got a system of deciding who, Roc. It's, uh...
Rocco: Me! *Me*! I'm the guy! I know everyone! Their habits, who they hang out with, who they talk to! I've got phone numbers, addresses! I know who they're fucking! I know where they live! We could kill *everyone.*
Murphy: So what do you think?
Connor: I'm strangely comfortable with it.
Rocco: [shouts] Fuck it! There's so much shit that pisses me off! You guys should recruit, 'cause I'm sick and fucking tired of walking down the street, waiting for one of these crack-piping, ass-wiping, motherless lowlifes to get me!
Murphy: Hallelujah, Jaffar.
Rocco: So, like, you're not just talking about mob guys, right? You're talking about pimps and drug dealers and all that shit, right?
Connor: Oh, yeah.
Rocco: Fuck. You guys could do this every goddamn day!
Murphy: We're sorta like 7-Eleven. We're not always doing business, but we're always open.
Connor: That is nicely put.
[after Rocco accidentally turns a cat into a splatter on the wall]
Murphy: I can't believe that just fucking happened!
Rocco: Is it dead?
Rocco: They can suck my pathetic little dick, and I'll dip my nuts in marinara sauce just so the fat bastards can get a taste of home while they're at it.
Donna: You killed my... my...
Rocco: Your what?
Rocco: Your fuckin' what? Huh? Your what, bitch?
Rocco: [puts gun to his own head] I'll shoot myself in the head, you can tell me that cat's name! Go ahead! Your what? Your precious, little...
Rayvie: Skippy! Skippy!
Rocco: Oh, Jesus! What color was it, bitch?
Rayvie: Don't you fucking yell at her like that you prick!
Rocco: [turns gun on Rayvie] Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you fucked!
Rocco: Anybody *you* think is evil?
Rocco: Don't you think that's a little weird, a little psycho?
Connor: D'you know what I think is psycho, Roc? It's decent men with loving families. They go home every day after work and they turn on the news. You know what they see? They see rapists, and murderers and child molesters. They're all getting out of prison.
Murphy: Mafiosos. Gettin' caught with twenty kilos. Gettin' out on bail the same fuckin' day.
Connor: And everywhere, everyone thinks the same thing: that someone should just go kill those motherfuckers.
Murphy: Kill 'em all. Admit it. Even you've thought about it.
Rocco: You guys should be in every major city. This is some heavy shit. This is, like, Lone Ranger heavy, man.
Rocco: I killed your cat, you druggie bitch.
Rocco: I thought it would bring closure to our relationship.
[after Rocco fondles an unconscious stripper's breast]
Connor: What the fuck are you doing?
Rocco: ...I'll tip her.
Rocco: I'll catch you on the flip side.
[after Rocco shoots three men in a coffee shop]
Murphy: Liberating, isn't it?
Connor: Let's fuckin' go!
Rocco: You know, it is a bit.
Connor: Okay, Roc...
[Connor looks at him and laughs; his mask is badly put on]
Rocco: What? You guys got masks.
Murphy: You look like Mush Mouth from Fat Albert.
[as they keep giggling, Rocco takes his mask off]
Rocco: Fine! Fuck it. When we're done, she can ID me. I don't care. Just trying to be professional, but nooooo...
Connor: It looks fine!
Rocco: Fuck it.
Connor: Now shut the fuck up, you look good. Put it on! You look fuckin' scary, man!
[Rocco puts his mask on, again badly]
Connor: [trying not to laugh] Now Roc, are you sure that you're obee-kay-bee?
[after Rocco enters the bar]
Rocco: Hey fuck-ass, give me a beer.
[after Rocco gets his finger shot off]
Rocco: Feels like it's still there.
Connor: Yeah, well it's not.
[seeing the nine dead Russian mobsters that the masked men killed]
Rocco: Boy, you guys sure did a good job. Ah shit, you guys are good huh? Cool masks. Where'd you get 'em?
Connor: Donna's gonna be angry about her cat.
Rocco: Shit. She's on every drug known to man. She'd have sold the thing for a dime-bag. Screw her.
Rocco: I do kinda feel like an asshole, though.
Connor: Yeah, Roc, you sound real remorseful there.
Rocco: That was funny, wasn't it? That was real fucking funny, huh? Huh?
Bartender: Not me! Not me!
Rocco: [shoots him] It was FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY!
[gun clicks empty]
Rocco: Is it dead?
Rocco: I'm the fuck outta here!
Rocco: This guy takes out a whole family... wife, kids, everyone... like he's ordering fucking pizza.
[to a trio of Russian mobsters]
Rocco: Hey, Boris. What would you do if I told you your pinko Commie mother sucked so much dick, her face looks like an egg?
[Checkov decks Rocco]
Rocco: There's two kinds of people in this world when you boil it all down. You got your talkers and you got your doers. Most people are just talkers, all they do is talk. But when it is all said and done, it's the doers that change this world. And when they do that, they change us, and that's why we never forget them. So which one are you? Do you just talk about it, or do you stand up and do something about it? Because believe you me, all the rest of it is just coffee house and bullshit.
Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus: Sláinte
Murphy MacManus: You know, he was sort of a badass though, wasn't he?
Connor MacManus: Shades of Eastwood. Charlie Bronson.
Rocco: Duke Fucking Wayne!
Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus: Duke Fucking WAYNE!
Rocco: Men build things, then we die. It's in our fucking DNA! THAT'S WHAT WE DO!
Murphy MacManus: And when it all falls down?
Rocco: We build it right back up again.
Connor MacManus: But this time bigger. BETTER!
Rocco: Look! Look what we can do. Look how fuckin' beautiful we are. You think the men that built all this had it easy?
Murphy MacManus: Hard men!
Connor MacManus: Doing hard shit!
Rocco: and that gives me a hard on... But not in a gay way or anything like that.
Murphy MacManus: No, 'course not
Connor MacManus: Yeah it goes without sayin'
Rocco: I am so sick of all of this self help, twelve step, leftover hippie generation bullshit!
Connor MacManus: Now they don't want you to do anything, right? Just sit there. Don't drink.
Murphy MacManus: Don't smoke. Don't drive fast.
Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus, Rocco: Kiss my ass!
Rocco: Fuck it! Do it all I say! Do you think Duke Wayne spent all of his time talking about his feelings with a fuckin' therapist?
Connor MacManus: There's no fucking way he did!
Rocco: John Wayne died with five pounds of undigested red meat in his ass. Now that's a man! Real men hide their feelings. Why?
Connor MacManus, Murphy MacManus, Rocco: Because it's none of your fuckin' business!
Rocco: Men do not cry. Men do not pout. Men jack you in the fuckin' jaw and say...
Detective Greenly: Thanks for comin' out.
Rocco: Real men hide their emotions. Why? Because it's none of your fuckin' business!
Rocco: [holding gun on her] You're not a little girl any more, Belle.
Belle Blake: Fuck you.
Rocco: Thank you.
Rocco: [handing Bernie a big automatic rifle] Happy?
Rocco: Listen, kiddo, I always treat my business partners right. May God rest their souls.
Rocco: This is a coincidence. I meet nobody from the old neighbourhood in years. I finally do, and I gotta kill her.
Rocco: It's nothin' personal. It's just bad luck you were a witness.
Sally: My whole life, I had bad luck.
Rocco: Me too.
Sally: Where are you from?
Sally: Yeah? Me too.
Danny Rose: What do you do, Rocco?
Danny Rose: Cement?
Rocco: I own a fleet of cement mixers.
Danny Rose: Oh, no kidding. Isn't that a very big organized cr...
Rocco: Charity work. I gather these for those less fortunate than myself who can't afford pornography.
Laslow: [upon discovering that the doctors were the three men in disguise] Ah hah! So you were the doctors!
Rocco: No we're not them. We're somebody else. The men you're looking for are our identical twin brothers, and you'll never see us together, 'cause we love the same women!
Rocco: [as a dog rips his trouser leg] What a charming little animal.
Lillian Oglethorpe: Do you know dogs, Mister Melonchek?
Rocco: Know dogs? I used to be a chef in a Korean restaurant!
Rocco: Well, get this: I run my own business, do you hear? I don't need no punk like you tellin' me nothin'! Why? Because I'm just as big as you are and bigger. When one man's gonna run this town, I'll be him, see.
Rocco: Aww... What a nice sweater. Thanks, Alice.
Maggie: Who brought this?
Alice: I did. It's Rocco's present.
Maggie: Oh, SHIT! I forgot to get the birthday boy a present.
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