Rizzo the Rat Quotes in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

Rizzo the Rat: What's this supposed to be?

Pete: Is grits! Grits! Hominy grits!

Rizzo the Rat: How should I know how many? Count 'em yourself.

Rizzo the Rat: [Rizzo walks by with a plate of food] Gangway! Coming through! Hey Watch it, will ya?

Fozzie Bear: Hey, that waiter's a rat!

Floyd: I'm glad we got no money, now I got no appetite.

Rizzo the Rat: Ok, what'll ya have?

Floyd: The number for The Board Of Health!

Fozzie: Hey, Kermit, I'm getting hungry.

Gonzo: Call room service.

Kermit: There's no phone.

Rizzo the Rat: That's OK, there's no food, either.

Gonzo: I had that weird dream again.

Rizzo the Rat: You mean the one with the goat and the dwarf and the jar of peanut butter?

[Ed is examining Gonzo]

Ed Singer: No nostrils. How do you smell?

Rizzo the Rat: Awful. Trust me, I'm his roommate.

Gonzo: Hey, Rizzo, come here! I think my Kap'n Alphabet is sending me a message.

Rizzo the Rat: Yeah, I know what you mean. I had some guacamole last night, and it's still speaking to me.

Gonzo: [as Rizzo is hanging out the window] Rizzo?

Rizzo the Rat: No, it's Santa. But I forgot my reindeer.

Gonzo: [Gonzo wakes up from a bad dream and sits upright, accidentally sending a hammock-sleeping Rizzo flying out the window] I don't wanna be alone!

Rizzo the Rat: You're not alone.

Gonzo: Who said that?

Rizzo the Rat: Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's the rat who's hanging out of the window!

Gonzo: I had that weird dream again.

Rizzo the Rat: The one with the goat and the dwarf and the jar of peanut butter?

Rizzo the Rat: There are two things in this life I hate: heights, and jumping from them.

Gonzo: Too late now. Come on, I'll catch you.

Rizzo the Rat: God save my little broken body!

[Jumps and falls to the ground. He looks at Gonzo]

Gonzo: Missed.

Rizzo the Rat: Oh wait a second... I forgot my jellybeans. Um...

[Slides through the bars to retrieve them, and joins Gonzo back on the other side. Gonzo stares at him]

Rizzo the Rat: What?

Gonzo: You can fit through those bars?

Rizzo the Rat: Yeah...

Gonzo: You are such an idiot.

Rizzo the Rat: Mother always taught me: "Never eat singing food."

Rizzo the Rat: Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience?

Gonzo: Nah, it's all right. This is culture!

Rizzo the Rat: [a nearby clock strikes the hour] Oh, what was that?

Gonzo: Two o'clock.

Rizzo the Rat: Is it too early for breakfast?

Gonzo: Yes.

Rizzo the Rat: Oh good, suppertime!

Gonzo: My name is Charles Dickens.

Rizzo the Rat: And my name is Rizzo the Rat... wait a second! You're not Charles Dickens!

Gonzo: I am too!

Rizzo the Rat: No! A blue furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat?

Gonzo: Absolutely!

Rizzo the Rat: Charles Dickens was a 19th Century novelist! A genius!

Gonzo: Oh, you are too kind!

Rizzo the Rat: Why should I believe you?

Gonzo: Well, because I know the story of A Christmas Carol like the back of my hand!

Rizzo the Rat: Prove it!

Gonzo: All right! Um, there's a little mole on my thumb, and um, a scar on my wrist from when I fell off my bike...

Rizzo the Rat: No, no, no, don't tell us your *hand*, tell us the *story*!

Gonzo: Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves.

Rizzo the Rat: Yuck!

Gonzo: [whispering] That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.

Rizzo the Rat: Why are you whispering?

Gonzo: It's for dramatic emphasis.

[Gonzo and Rizzo are flying over London]

Gonzo: [Thrilled] Hello, London!

Rizzo the Rat: [Scared] Goodbye, lunch!

[Scrooge has met the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come]

Rizzo the Rat: Oh, this is too scary. I don't think I wanna see any more!

Gonzo: When you're right, you're right.

[turning to face the audience]

Gonzo: You're on your own, folks. We'll meet you at the finale!

Rizzo the Rat: Yeah!

Gonzo: He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scr...

[noticing the smudged window of Scrooge's office]

Gonzo: Boy, this really *is* a dirty city!

Rizzo the Rat: Heh, you're tellin' me!

[Gonzo grabs Rizzo and uses him to wipe off the window pane]

Rizzo the Rat: [sarcastically] Thank you for makin' me a part of this!

Gonzo: [dropping Rizzo] He was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge: a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching, covetous old sinner.

Ebenezer Scrooge: What right have you to be merry? You're poor enough.

Fred: What right have you to be dismal? You're rich enough.

Rizzo the Rat: He's got 'im there. The old boy's speechless!

Ebenezer Scrooge: If I could work my will, every idiot who goes around with "a Merry Christmas" on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!

Rizzo the Rat: Well, not quite speechless.

Rizzo the Rat: I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!

Gonzo: You have all the fun!

Rizzo the Rat: Oh, Gonzo, speak to me! I mean, Mr. Dickens. Charlie! Are you hurt?

Gonzo: [gets up] To say that Scrooge became startled would be untrue. Still the moment had passed, and the world was as it should be.

Rizzo the Rat: He ain't hurt. Didn't even lose his concentration.

Rizzo the Rat: [falls down a chimney ignoring Gonzo] Hey! I'm stuck! Get me out of here!

Gonzo: I knew you weren't suited for literature.

Rizzo the Rat: Light the lamp, not the rat, light the lamp, not the rat! Put me out, put me out, put me out!

Gonzo: Oh! My apologies! Um...

[Suddenly spotting a barrel of water below the lamp post]

Gonzo: Rizzo!

Rizzo the Rat: What?

["Mr Dickens" pushes Rizzo so he falls into the water barrel]

Gonzo: Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story.

Rizzo the Rat: And I am here for the food.

Rizzo the Rat: How do you know what Scrooge is doin'? We're down here and he's up there!

Gonzo: I told you, storytellers are omniscient; I know everything!

Rizzo the Rat: Hoity-toity, Mr. Godlike Smarty-Pants.

Gonzo: To conduct a proper search, Scrooge was forced to light the lamps.

[the lamps come on]

Rizzo the Rat: How *does* he do that?

Rizzo the Rat: Rats don't understand these things.

Gonzo: You were never a lonely child?

Rizzo the Rat: I had twelve hundred and seventy four brothers and sisters.

Gonzo: Boy! Rats don't understand these things!

[Rizzo and "Mr. Dickens" are sitting on the window ledge outside Scrooge's bedroom]

Rizzo the Rat: [looking around] Um, are you sure it's safe for us to be up here?

Gonzo: Scrooge is saved. What can happen now?

Rizzo the Rat: Yeah.

[Scrooge opens the window, knocking Rizzo and "Mr. Dickens" off the ledge]