Rita Quotes in Silver Streak (1976)

George Caldwell: I've never milked a cow before.

Rita: Cut the gas, Steve, you're a grown man. I'm sure you've had some similar experience.

Rita: They talk of the joy of sex but it doesn't last like the fun of flying.

Max Kirkpatrick: Please, Rita. Just cut me a little slack on space, OK.

Rita: No, no, no! You have run out of slacks, Max! No more slacks for you!

[after dumping a ton of mail on Max's desk]

Rita: THIS is your mail because it has your name on it! My mail is sometimes addressed to OCCUPANT. Because, Max, I AM the fucking occupant of my place! Whereas YOU are no longer an occupant. Is this sinking in? GET YOUR SHIT OUT OF MY APARTMENT!

Rita: Don't do shh... to me. I am not...

Max: shh...

Rita: Do I look like a warehouse?

Shaft: Obviously, you're not a friend of the famiiy.

Rita: Not any more, I'm not. Not after a nasty slap in the face.

Shaft: Best thing for that is an ice pack.

Rita: Why thank you, Mr. Shaft. Why don't you come in and show me how to apply it.

Shaft: You might catch cold.

Rita: I suppose its immodest of me to walk around like this in front of a stranger. But, any enemy of John Kelly's, is an old friend of mine.

Rita: So, what am I doing in a place like this?

Shaft: Why don't you tell me.

Rita: Why don't you take your things off.

Rita: Do you have to go?

Shaft: Gotta split, baby.

Rita: You sure are a hard man to find.

Shaft: Too many people lookin' for me, baby.

[points to his car]

Shaft: Look, can you drive that thing?

Rita: Anything with a stick shift is my meat.

Shaft: Is that right?

Rita: Hey, is that snow?

Shaft: It sho ain't cotton.

Rita: Everything's exactly the way you wanted it. Check the piece out. Go ahead, please.

[Golgo 13 examines the M16]

Rita: The trigger is an electronic push-button. I increased the bursts to 15 rounds per second. And the change in balance from the recoil is held below decimal. And check out the silencer kit...

Golgo 13: Rita, it's okay. I don't need to hear it; I trust you. Just tell me what you want for the modifications, and for the car.

Rita: [grabs Golgo 13's hand] I don't want any... payment this time. I just want... I've waited for so long for you to pull my trigger lovingly and softly. Remember Duke, like before?

[Golgo 13 is about to light a cigarette]

Rita: I want one.

Golgo 13: Nope.

Rita: Gimmie one, ya big ox!

Eric: We'll lose a lot of money if Jane doesn't help us.

Tarzan: Money?

Rita: Yes, money - you know, to get clothes and food and ...

Tarzan: Food, clothes, money?

Eric: No, Tarzan, you don't understand. Money isn't that, it's ...

Jane: Of course he doesn't understand. I hope he never does!

[last lines]

Rita: [to Jane] You see, we wanted to take you back to where we thought you belong. "Civilization" I think they call it. But it's not for you. And even if your coming back meant that I'd inherit the world, I couldn't forget the look in Tarzan's eyes when he thought he was going to lose you. Stay here with your jungle flies, and your funny little Cheetah and all the trouble she gets into, and Tarzan. You've got the grandest possessions that any woman can have: peace and comradeship and perfect communion with a man whose whole strength is devoted to making your life beautiful. Don't you ever lose it.

Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?

Pvt. Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn't thought of that.

Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.

Rita: Can you take me there?

[Points at TV where "Monday Night Rehab" is showing]

Frito: [Lifts Rita to TV]

Rita: Not here, you fucking moron - there!

[Points at TV again]

Phone Computer: Welcome to AOL Time Warner Taco Bell US Government Long Distance. Please say the name of the person you wish to call.

Rita: Upgrayedd.

Phone Computer: There are 9,726 listings for "Upgrayedd". Please deposit $2,000 to begin connection.

Rita: What's wrong with you?

Jack: Let me think about that. I'll tell you the next time I see you.

Rita: [while making out] Your crazy! What's your name?

Jack: Jack, what's yours?

Rita: Rita.

Jack: You're beautiful.

Rita: Don't come into me.

Rita: [crying] I've got to get off this train.

Jack: Thanks for using me.

Rita: You're welcome.

Liam: He's gonna steal your boat.

Rita: He won't steal my boat.

Liam: He's stealing your boat.

Rita: He isn't stealing...

Liam: He stole your boat.

Rita: What?

Liam: He's like Robin Hood in reverse.

Rita: Tell me about yourself, Roddy.

Roddy: Well, there's not much to tell.

Rita: You know everything about me, warts and all. I don't even know what you do.

Roddy: I'm... I'm in a boy band.

Rita: What?

Roddy: Yeah. Yeah, I'm the posh one.

Spike: Blimy, it's cold.

Whitey: That's why I wore me mittens.

Spike: Wha... Hitmen don't wear mittens! Take them off! You're embarrasing me!

Whitey: It's all right for you. You've got little hands. They don't freeze as much.

Rita: What are you, some kind of rat boomerang? Give me back my ruby!

Roddy: I haven't got your ruby!

[the ruby falls on his hand]

Roddy: Okay. Well, now I've got your ruby.

Roddy: Will you please tell these people I'm not involved in this?

Rita: Fine. All right, all right, listen up. This gentleman, he's not from around here.

Roddy: Thank you.

Rita: Just look how nicely he's dressed.

Roddy: Ah, thank you.

Rita: And why? Because he's an international jewel thief!

Roddy: Precisely... What? No, no!

Rita: This is quite tasty.

Roddy: Thanks. I don't think it's too bad, considering I only had an apple, four raisins and a box of rice.

Rita: Rice?

Slug: [singing] What's that urge from deep inside? / The need to hurl won't be denied / That isn't rice, that's maggots you're eating.

Maggots: Larva, larva, larva...

Roddy: Well. That explains why it all ran to one side when I put salt in it.

Rita: It's impossible!

Roddy: /ENGLAND/ is winning! ANYTHING'S possible!

Rita: Real!

Roddy: Fake.

Rita: Real!

Roddy: Fake.

Rita: [sighs] Real.

Roddy: Fake.

Rita: REAL!

Roddy: Maybe I can make it up to you?

Rita: Get stuffed.

Rita: We Malones never go back on our word.

Roddy: [Roddy and Rita are running from the thugs] Rita could we please go a little faster.

Rita: We don't have too.

Rita: [hits a button] Go go purple custard.

Rita: Where's the kid?

Tito: [coughs after nearly getting barbecued] He must still be in the car, man!

[everyone watches as the limo departs]

Rita: Oh, that poor little kid.

Dodger: You were supposed to keep an eye on him, Tito!

Tito: [coughs] Yeah. Well, it's hard to watch anything when you're getting barbecued, man!

Rita: Excuse me, uh, sister. Who's Rex?

Georgette: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

[to Francis, who is eating chocolates]

Georgette: and YOU, Tubby, OFF THE BED!

[to Einstein, who is sniffing in her perfume]

Georgette: Get away from there, you - - All right! That does it! You yo-yos clear out and I mean now! WIN-STON!

Rita: Cool it, you guys. It's just a cat.

Tito: Mi madre, un gato!

Francis: Felis domesticus!

Rita: How did you find this place, cat?

Oliver: I-I was following this dog.

Tito: He's lying! He's lying! He's lying!...

Rita: [Kicks Tito] Stop it, Tito.

Francis: And why would a cat follow a dog?

Einstein: Yeah!

Oliver: I just wanted some of the hot dogs I helped him get.

Tito: He's a spy, man! Come on, let's eat him! You're dead meat, kitty!

Rita: Run along, Roscoe. Your master's calling.

[White House worker notices the gun in Rita's station wagon]

Rita: What you looking at? You been down to that farmer's market lately? It's brutal.

Rita: [after smuggling the Presidents in hidden by a tarp past the White house guard] Mr Presidents, please hush up! Long as you're in my car you're produce!

Rita: You anger me!

Chico: Have you thought about your career? About your future?

Rita: Future, what future? The future never gave me anything! All my hopes are set on the past.

Chico: You look like a Yankee!

Rita: But i still like kidney beans...

Chico: I've seen you in magazines. You're headed for Hollywood, right? Aren't you tired of playing Miss Charming?

Rita: Don't you like me sitting by your side, eating kidney beans?

Chico: I like it so much, it frightens me...

Rita: What are you frightened of?

Chico: Same thing as you...

Rita: Why should i be frightened?

Chico: Of listening to your heart for once. Of leaving your cage and not finding your way back.

Rita: You really believe that?

Chico: Uh-huh...

Rita: Come with me!

Rita: [singing] Now we'll dig a hole where / both of us can hide. / Nobody will find us / while we're here inside.

Hugo: [singing] Nobody's sweeter. Come and kiss me, Rita. Tickle, tickle!

Rita: Stop that now!

Hugo: [singing] Nobody's sweeter. Come and kiss me, Rita. Tickle...

Rita: Will you stop that?

Rita: [singing] Come and help me dig now / right here in the ground. We've got lots of work. No / time to play around.

Rita, Hugo: [singing] Nobody is sweeter. Kissy, kissy, kiss...

Rita: There's no such thing as a three-headed dragon!

Hugo: Yeah. I found that out.

Rita: [singing] Now, we've got a hole that / we can call our own. / We'll stay close together / and make this our home.

Hugo: [singing] Nobody's sweeter. Come and kiss me, Rita. Tickle, tickle!

Rita: Stop that now!

Hugo: [singing] Nobody's sweeter. Come and kiss me, Rita. Tickle!

Rita: Will you stop?

Rita: [singing] Look, I found these coushins. / They feel soft and so warm! / We'll be nice and cozy / through the winter storm. / Snuggle up beside me. / Sit right here on the seat. / Lay back, put your head down, / rest your tired feet.

Rita, Hugo: [singing] Nobody is sweeter. Kissy, kissy, kiss...

Roxanne Chase-Feder: Excuse me, Princess Rita. Are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna help me?

Rita: No, Mr. Feder said that I must study for the big final.

Roxanne Chase-Feder: What final?

Rita: You tell me, he just keeps handing me books.

Lillian: You remember my cousin, Rita.

Annie: Rita!

Rita: [hugs Annie] Annie, I haven't seen you since you graduated high school.

Lillian: She has three kids now.

Rita: Three boys.

Lillian: They're so cute.

Rita: They are cute, but when they reach that age, ugh. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible, and there is semen all over everything. Disgusting. I cracked a BLANKET in half. Do you get where I'm going with this?

Annie: I do, yeah.

Rita: [gesturing] I cracked it in HALF.

Rita: [Starting to feel sick from food poisoning] You know, I don't care which dress we get. I just need to get off this white carpet!

Rita: [to her children] Hey! Shut your filthy fucking mouths!

Rita: Ooooh, What's up?

Smokey: Not a damn thannng!

Phil: [talking to a sleeping Rita] I think you're the kindest, sweetest, prettiest person I've ever met in my life. I've never seen anyone that's nicer to people than you are. The first time I saw you... something happened to me. I never told you but... I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could. I don't deserve someone like you. But if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.

Rita: Did you say something?

Phil: Good night.

Rita: Do you every have déjà vu?

Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?

Rita: [as Phil kisses Rita over and over discovering that he has finally passed Groundhog Day] Phil, why weren't you like this last night? You just fell asleep.

Phil: It was the end of a VERY long day.

Phil: I'm a god.

Rita: You're God?

Phil: I'm a god. I'm not *the* God... I don't think.

Phil: Do you know what today is?

Rita: No, what?

Phil: Today is tomorrow. It happened.

Phil: I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.

Rita: Oh, really?

Phil: ...and every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender... I am an immortal.

Rita: [Phil has described several people in the diner] What about me, Phil? Do you know me too?

Phil: I know all about you. You like producing, but you hope for more than Channel 9 Pittsburgh.

Rita: Well, everyone knows that!

Phil: You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There's a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You're a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You're very generous. You're kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.

Rita: [in wonder] How are you doing this?

Phil: I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it's always February 2nd, and there's nothing I can do about it.

Phil: Why are you here?

Rita: You said stay so I stayed.

Phil: I can't even make a collie stay.

Rita: This day was perfect. You couldn't have planned a day like this.

Phil: Well, you can. It just takes an awful lot of work.

Phil: So, did you sleep OK without me? You tossed and turned, didn't you?

Rita: You're incredible.

Phil: Who told you?

Rita: What should we drink to?

Phil: I'd like to say a prayer and drink to world peace.

Rita: It's beautiful. I don't know what to say.

Phil: I do. Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now... because I love you.

Rita: I like to see a man of advancing years throwing caution to the wind. It's inspiring in a way.

Phil: My years are not advancing as fast as you might think.

Rita: What did you do today?

Phil: Oh, same-old same-old.

Phil: Something is... different.

Rita: Good or bad?

Phil: Anything different is good.

[Waking after a night of reading poetry and only chaste sleep with Rita, Phil jumps out of bed, determined to show himself as a new and likable man. He gives a wad of cash to the Old Man beggar and shows up early for the photo shoot, carrying a tray of coffees just the way that Rita and Larry like them, and with Larry's favorite pastry]

Phil: Who wants coffee? Get it while it's hot!

Rita: [surprised] Oh! Thanks, Phil!

Phil: [Handing Larry a lidded styrofoam container of coffee] Larry? Skim milk, two sugar.

Larry: [Also surprised] Yeah. Thanks, Phil!

Phil: Pastry?

[Phil offers the tray to Rita, who looks enticed, but says:]

Rita: No. We're just setting up.

Phil: Pastry, Larry? Take your pick.

Larry: Well, thanks, Phil. Raspberry, great.

Phil: Say, I was just talking with Buster Green, he's the head groundhog honcho. And he said, if we set up over here

[he points his thumb over his shoulder]

Phil: , we might get a better shot. What do you think?

[Rita is still surprised that Phil Connors is being so thoughtful and helpful]

Rita: Sounds good.

Phil: Larry, what do you think?

[It is obvious that Phil has never asked for Larry's opinion in his life, and Larry grins]

Larry: Yeah. Let's go for it.

Rita: [Pleased] Good work, Phil.

Phil: Maybe we'll get lucky. Let me give you a hand with the heavy stuff.

[Phil takes the backpack and news-camera]

Larry: Uh...

Phil: No, no, you got your coffee.

[They start to walk to the "better" spot]

Phil: We never talk, Larry. Do you have kids?

[Rita stares in astonishment, then slowly follows them]

Phil: I am not making it up. I am asking you for help.

Rita: Okay, what do you want me to do?

Phil: I don't know. You're a producer. Come up with something.

Rita: Are you drunk or something?

Phil: Drunk is more fun.

Rita: Why would anybody steal a groundhog?

Larry: I can probably think of a couple of reasons... pervert.

Phil: Can I be serious with you with you for a minute?

Rita: I don't know. Can you?

Phil: Can I talk to you about a matter that is not work-related?

Rita: You never talk about work.

Ned: Phil, this is the best day of my life.

Phil: Mine too.

Rita: Mine too.

Ned: Where are we going?

Rita: Oh, let's not spoil it!

Rita: Believe it or not, I studied nineteenth-century French poetry.

Phil: La fille que j'aimera Sera comme bon vin Qui se bonifiera Un peux chaques matin

Rita: You speak French?

Phil: Oui.

Rita: Would you like to come to dinner with Larry and me?

Phil: No thank you. I've seen Larry eat.

Rita: Three hundred and thirty-nine dollars and eighty-eight cents!

Rita: Don't you worry about cholesterol?

Phil: I don't worry about anything.

Phil: I think people place too much emphasis on their careers. I wish we could all live in the mountains at high altitude. That's where I see myself in five years. How about you?

Rita: Oh, I agree. I just like to go with the flow. See where it leads me.

Phil: Well, it's led you here.

Rita: Mm hmm. Of course it's about a million miles from where I started out in college.

Phil: You weren't in broadcasting or journalism?

Rita: Uh unh. Believe it or not, I studied 19th-century French poetry.

Phil: [laughs] What a waste of time! I mean, for someone else that would be an incredible waste of time. It's so bold of you to choose that. It's incredible; you must have been a very very strong person.

Rita: [to Phil] What are you looking for Phil? A date for the weekend?

Phil: To the groundhog.

Rita: I always drink to world peace.

Rita: You're not a god. You can take my word for it; this is twelve years of Catholic school talking.

Rita: It's groundhog time.

Rita: You're missin' all the fun! These people are great! Some of them have been partyin' all night long! They sing songs 'till they get too cold and then they go sit by the fire and they get warm, and then they come back and sing some more!

Phil: Yeah, they're hicks, Rita!

Rita: Where were you?

Phil: [referring to Ned] It was awful. A giant leech got me.

Phil: So what do you want out of life anyway?

Rita: I guess I want what everybody wants. You know, career, love, marriage, children.

Phil: Are you seeing anyone?

Rita: I think this is getting too personal. I don't think I'm ready to share this with you.

[Phil nods]

Rita: How about you? What do you want?

Phil: What I really want is someone like you.

Rita: [chuckles] Oh, please.

Phil: Well, why not? What are you looking for? Who is your perfect guy?

Phil: Well, first of all, he's too humble to know he's perfect.

Phil: That's me.

Rita: He's intelligent, supportive, funny...

Phil: Intelligent, supportive, funny... me, me, me...

Rita: He's romantic and courageous...

Phil: Me also...

Rita: He's got a good body, but he doesn't have to look in the mirror every two minutes.

Phil: I have a great body, and sometimes I go months without looking.

Rita: He's kind and sensitive and gentle, he's not afraid to cry in front of me...

Phil: This is a man we're talking about, right?

Rita: He likes animals and children and he'll change poopy diapers...

Phil: Does he have to use the word poopy?

Rita: Oh, and he plays an instrument, and he loves his mother.

Phil: I am really close on this one... really, really close.

Rita: Phil, going to the Groundhog dinner?

Phil: No, I had groundhog for lunch. Tastes like chicken.

Rita: Is there a girl you're seein'?

Bobby Boucher: Seein'? Uh, I see a lot of girls... I see a lot of guys too.

Rita: I think that's sexy, you ever been with a guy and girl at the same time?

Bobby Boucher: Oh yea, plenty of times. The other night, I was with my Mama and Coach Klein at the same time.

[Dorothy Michaels' screen test]

Rita: I'd like to make her look a little more attractive, how far can you pull back?

Cameraman: How do you feel about Cleveland?

Rita: Knock it off.

Rita: How's it coming?

Abe: I'm... blocked. I can't write.

Rita: Why?

Abe: I don't know, I... I can't *write* 'cause I... I can't breathe.

Rita: What would get you breathing again?

Abe: [sighs] I... you know... I don't... I'm too... *the will to breathe*, inspiration you know.

Rita: You need a muse.

Abe: I've never needed a muse before.

[sighs]

Rita: I hope you're not going to send me back out into the rain without sleeping with me.

Abe: I'm trying to write.

Rita: You're blocked. I'm going to unblock you or are you becoming infatuated with that student you spend so much time with?

Rita: When I heard you were coming here, I had fantasies that we'd meet and something special would happen.

Rita: [upon seeing Evan's beard] Evan, what happened? Did you fall in a mine shaft?

Evan Baxter: No.

Rita: Did you just come out of a coma?

Evan Baxter: No.

Rita: Were you attacked by a werewolf?

Evan Baxter: No, I wasn't.

Rita: Well, if you were going for that rugged look, I think you over-shot it.

[Rita voices her disbelieve in Evan's ark]

Rita: Look, I go to church every Sunday.

[Evan doesn't believe her]

Rita: Every "other" Sunday.

[Evan still doesn't believe her]

Rita: I've been to church!

Rita: The way things are going, if he gets any crazier, we might end up in the White House.

Rita: [seeing Evan successfully calling all the animals to the ark] I can't even get my cat to use the litter box.

Rita: [after seeing an alpaca spit green stuff] If that comes out your front, I don't even want to know what's coming out the back.

Rita: [Evan's clothes have changed into his Noah outfit] Did you just make a wardrobe change? This isn't the Oscars. You're not Whoopi.

Evan Baxter: Get on the Ark! Everyone on the Ark, now!

Marty: I think we should get on the Ark.

Eugene: I agree. I think we should get on the Ark, also.

Rita: I'm cold, I'm wet, I'm going home.

[the dam breaks and a wall of water comes at them]

Rita: Ladies first! Move!

Rita: Why do you sound like Evan Baxter but look like a Bee Gee?

Rita: Have you been shootin' up Rogaine?

Evan Baxter: These birds had a big meal earlier.

Rita: Want me to get my BB gun?

Rita: [after Eugene has said too much] Can I tase him?

Rita: [looking up at the Ark which is almost finished] Why couldn't the man just buy a Corvette?

Rita: [Referring to Evan Baxter] There he is! The head honcho. The big Kahuna.

Evan Baxter: [he enters his new office] This is nice.

Rita: It's too nice. There's something crooked going on around here.

[sarcastically sniffs]

Rita: Do you smell anthrax?

[Rita sees over the security camera that Evan has shown up to the House conference meeting with his beard braided]

Rita: Evan, what are you doing? You have a pony tail on your face! What are you gonna do next? Cornrow your eyebrows?

Rita: Daddy, you're not supposed to be smoking.

Winston: Oh, no, no. This is just some assorted herbs, some cheeba.

Don Johnston: Let me see that

[takes a drag of cigarette]

Don Johnston: Yep, it's just cannabis sativa.

Jordan Leigh-Jenson: [watching Chris and Jim dancing] She's such a nothing. I just don't what he sees in her.

Rita: I like to see you get a guy as good as Jim.

Jordan Leigh-Jenson: Why not Jim?

Rita: You couldn't! He's in love with Chris.

Jordan Leigh-Jenson: But Chris is no competition. Tomorrow is riding class, I begin my campaign.

[Rita and Sue are in Bob's car. Bob is about to make love to Sue on the front seat. Rita is in the back, feeling rather left out of things]

Rita: [sarcastically] I'll just watch, if it's all right?

[Bob climbs on top of Sue. Rita takes a closer look]

Rita: Jesus! It looks like a frozen sausage!

Rita: We haven't got eggs inside us. We're not ducks, y'know!

Bob: Well, things haven't been going so good with me and the wife.

Rita: Tell us another one!

Jason: What are you people doing here? We can't continue the story 'til Tom gets back.

Harold: Oh, we don't mind observing you all.

Harold's Wife: Yes. My husband is a student of the human personality.

Rita: Oh yeah, well we're not human.

Harold's Wife: It doesn't matter to Harold. He has trouble with humans.

The Countess: Go with the real guy, honey, we're limited.

Rita: Go with Tom! He's got no flaws!

Delilah: Go with SOMEBODY, child, 'cause I's gettin' bored.

Rita: This is just disgusting! I am an heiress and I don't have to put up with this!

Rita: Hey, open the champagne. I feel like getting plushed to the scuppers!

Anna Fassbender: [delivers a Wagnerian Valkyrie yodel]

Rita: Who is that thing?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: That is no thing, it's my wife!

Michael James: Pussycat from the sky, I can't resist you.

Rita: Don't resist. Capitulate.

Rita: For me, love is very deep, sex only has to go a few inches.

Sheldon Flender: You, you, you're all missing the point, the point is I can give pleasure many times a day!

Rita: Oh, now, really Flender, what does quantity got to do with it?

Sheldon Flender: Quantity, quantity affects quality!

David Shayne: Says who?

Sheldon Flender: Karl Marx!

Rita: Oh, so now we're talking economics.

Sheldon Flender: Sex is economics!

Joe Waters: 'Cause we were watching Jeopardy...

Rita: You guys watch Jeopardy?

Joe Waters: Yeah. They take away Science, I'll kill 'em.

Gus Green: I'll kill 'em if it weren't for History.

[Frank has just been officially reprimanded for being drunk while giving a lecture]

Dr. Frank Bryant: Sod them, eh, Rita! Sod them!

Rita: Will they sack you?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Good God no. That would involve making a decision. Pissed is all right. To get the sack, it would have to be rape on a grand scale. And not just with students, either. That would only amount to a slight misdemeanour. No, for dismissal it would have to be nothing less than buggering the Bursar.

[Rita discovers Frank packing all his books into crates]

Rita: Have they sacked you?

Dr. Frank Bryant: I made rather a night of it last night so they're giving me a holiday. Two years in Australia.

Rita: Did you bugger the Bursar?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Metaphorically.

[Rita is being nosy about Frank's marriage]

Dr. Frank Bryant: We split up, Rita, because of poetry.

Rita: You what?

Dr. Frank Bryant: One day, my wife explained to me that, for the past fifteen years, my output as a poet had dealt entirely with the part of our lives in which we discovered each other.

Rita: Are you a poet?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Was. And so, to give me something new to write about, she left me. A very noble woman, my wife - she left me for the good of literature. And remarkably it worked.

Rita: What, you wrote a lot of good stuff, did ya?

Dr. Frank Bryant: No. I stopped writing altogether.

[Trish has just tried to kill herself; Rita goes to visit her in hospital]

Rita: Why?

Trish: Darling, why not?

Rita: Oh, Trish, don't. Come on, it's all right, don't cry. You're still here.

Trish: That's why I'm crying - it didn't work. It didn't bloody work.

Rita: Trish. Look, you didn't really mean to kill yourself. You were just...

Trish: Just what, darling? Poor Susan. You think you've got everything, don't you?

Rita: Trish, you have.

Trish: Oh yes. When I listen to poetry and music, then I can live. You see, darling, the rest of the time it's just me. And that's not enough.

Rita's Father: Say, Denny. Denny, I'm sorry for you, lad. If she was a wife of mine I'd drown her.

Rita: If I was a wife of yours I'd drown meself.

Denny: In my family, a man has only to look at a woman and she's pregnant.

Rita: That's because you're all so cockeyed.

Dr. Frank Bryant: What does it say?

Rita: Right. I've passed. Now will you get on that bloody plane?

Dr. Frank Bryant: Let me see. You've passed with distinction. I'm proud of you, Rita.

Rita: I'm proud of both of us.

Rita: Christ! My customer! She only come in for a demi-wave, she'll come out looking like a flippin' muppet!

[last lines]

[Rita is saying goodbye to Frank at the airport departure gate]

Rita: Frank.

Dr. Frank Bryant: What?

Rita: Thanks.

Customer in Hairdressers: What's that book you're reading, love?

Rita: Somerset Maugham, "Of Human Bondage".

Customer in Hairdressers: [knowingly] Ohh, my husband's got loads of books like that.

Rita's Father: Married six years and you're not pregnant yet? How old are you now, Susan?

Rita: [sarcastically] I'm seventy-four, Dad.

Rita's Father: You are not! You're twenty-seven. What's wrong with you? Here's your sister, married six minutes, and she's already four months pregnant!

Rita: You're a student, aren't you?

Student: Yes.

Rita: So am I.

Rita: I'm beginning to find me. It's great.

Rita: I don't often get the chance to talk to someone like you.

Dr. Frank Bryant: I'm honored you chose me.

Amale: It's definitely blood.

Rita: Is it a sign? God is speaking to us.

Aïda: Yes. He's trying to tell us you're dumb. It's chicken blood, stupid.

Rita: [about visitors] They look like they've been in a famine. Look at that anorexic one. And the other, flat as a board. Our smallest pair of boobs could feed half of the Ukraine!

Rita: [after Billy reopens the door] You rotten. lying, crossed-eyed git. You're nothing else.

William Terrence 'Billy' Fisher: [clearly not wanting her to come inside] Hello, Rita. Sorry, I can't ask you in. We're havin' our chimney swept.

Rita: They'll be havin' you swept before I finish.

Rita: You Can't Learn Pretty!

Rita: [to Moko] Memory can be exercised. Of course you have to care about things to remember them.

Rita: John Lennon was a woman.

Rita: I saw the Pope once. I mean, I was really little, when we went with my mum; he went down the Insurgentes and we saw him. It was like a miracle, you know? He was going by and all of a sudden they stopped the Popemobile, and he started walking,you know, all holy, and he walked and walked and went right by me and my mum... and he stared right at me.

Moko: And then what?

Rita: Nothing.

Rita: Why do you all like blondes so much? Like Lourdes Azcona from 302... not very pretty, but she's blonde, so everyone is in love with her. And I'm not biased, really I'm not, but the girl is a retard. I don't think she's very clever, and I don't think she really cares or even realizes that she isn't clever, because you need to be clever to know if you are clever or not. I feel sorry for you: you're going to be bored to death when you realize she's not clever! Or maybe not... maybe you don't care about being with a clever woman, or maybe you aren't clever either!

Rita: A woman doesn't care how a guy makes a living, just how he makes love.

Rita: When will I see you again?

Leonard Diamond: Well, if I'm not dead, you'll find me where I always am. In jail.

Leonard Diamond: Hey, you're really worried about me.

Rita: A little.

Leonard Diamond: That's enough.

Rita: That's a lot for me.

Betty Elms: [Betty and Rita are in bed, about to have sex for the first time] Have you ever done this before?

Rita: I don't know. Have you?

Betty Elms: I want to with you.

Betty: Mulholland Drive?

Rita: That's where I was going!

[first lines]

Rita: What are you doing? We don't stop here.

Rita: Good night, sweet Betty.

Rita: ¡Yo nunca fui a Casablanca con Luigi!

A voice: Qué lástima.

Adam Kesher: ¡Qué va!

Rita: Betty? Betty? Where are you? Donde estas...

Rita: Go with me somewhere.

Betty Elms: Now?

Rita: Right now!

Sam: Yeah, but I tried, I tried hard.

Rita: Try harder!

Sam: Yeah, but you don't know, you don't know!

Rita: I don't know WHAT?

Sam: Yeah, you don't know what is like when you try, and you try, and you try, and you try, and you don't ever get there! Because you were born perfect and I was born like this, and you're perfect!

Rita: Oh, is that right?

Sam: People like you don't know...

Rita: People like me?

Sam: People like you don't know what is like to get hurted. Because you don't have feelings. People like you don't feel anything!

Rita: I just don't know what to call you: retarded, mentally retarded, mentally handicapped, mentally disabled, intellectually handicapped, intellectually disabled, developementally disabled...

Sam: You can call me Sam.

Rita: Now, Ms. Cossell, in all the time that you've known them, have you ever questioned Sam's ability as a father?

Annie: Never.

Rita: Never?

Annie: Never. Look at Lucy. She's strong. She displays true empathy for people, all kinds of people. I know that you all think she's as smart as she is despite him, but it's because of him.

Rita: So what you're saying is you don't worry about Lucy's future?

Annie: No, I do.

Rita: Ah...

Annie: I worry all the time. I worry if they take Lucy away from her father they will take away an enormous piece of her, and I worry that she will spend the rest of her life trying to fill that hole.

Sam: Lucy doesn't need me anymore. She has a new family now... and she doesn't need me anymore.

Rita: Is that what she said?

Sam: It's because I know that. Because I just know that.

Rita: Well. That's the first stupid thing I've ever heard you say.

Rita: You think you've got the market cornered on human suffering? Let me tell you something about people like me. People like me feel lost, and little, and ugly, and dispensable. People like me have husbands, screwing other people far more perfect than me. People like me have sons who hate them. And I've screamed, I've screamed horrible things at him, at a 7 year old because he doesn't want to get in the car at the end of the day! And then he looks at me with such anger and I hate him then! I know I'm failing you! I know I'm disappointing you! I know you deserve better but get in the fucking car! It's like every morning I wake up and, I fail. And I look around and everybody seems to be pulling it off, but I-I-I can't! No matter how hard I try. Somehow, I'll never be enough.

Sam: You think what they think.

Rita: It doesn't matter what I think. It matters that we win.

Sam: No, you think what they think. You think Sam can't take care of Lucy!

Rita: Sam, it doesn't matter what I think!

Sam: It matters to me!

Rita: You answer in one sentence.

Ifty: I answer in one sentence. Short and sweet. Tim Curry was a "Sweet Tranvestite" in the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show'

Rita: You better make that one word.

Rita: Sam, I worry. I worry sometimes.

Sam: Yeah... do you worry that you did something wrong?

Rita: No. I worry that I've gotten more out of this relationship than you.

Rita: It's just... I've never lost at anything.

Rita: Home.

Phone Voice: Dialing office.

Rita: HOME!

Phone Voice: Dialing office.

Rita: HOME, GODDAMN IT!

Phone Voice: Dialing Dr. Sloan.

[in Rita's car]

Rita: On the Porsche the door handle is a little hidden by that thingamajig, so if you're having trouble finding it...

Annie: NO!

Sam: Ok, I think maybe Annie's not exactly ready to go yet.

Rita: Can you grasp the concept of manipulating the truth... not lying, just a little tweak here and there?

Sam: [thinks for a few seconds] No.

Rita: [pounding her hands] Sam, you gotta be firm on this.

Rita: Where is your father?

Willy Harrison: Where do you think?

Rita: Sam, I can go at least another nine rounds, but you got to let me in.

Rita: It's like every morning I wake up and I FAIL!

Sam: YOU'RE MY LAWYER!

Rita: That's right.

Sam: OKAY!

Rita: Don't kill me. Don't kill me. Frank, don't kill me.

Frank Zito: No, no. I'm not going to kill you. I'm just going to keep you so you won't go away ever again!

[drives a switchblade into her heart]

Rita: What am I, a bowl of fruit? A tangerine that peels in a minute?

Rita: Here's mud in your column!

Rita: It was Palm Springs. Two years ago. Don't tell Sidney.

Rita: [to Sidney] Don't you get messages, Eyelashes? I called you twice.

Dracula: You admire my ring?

Rita: When I look at it, I see glimpses of a strange world. A world of people who are dead and yet alive.

Dracula: It is the place from which I've just returned.

Rita: It frightens me.

Dracula: Wear it. It will drive away your fears.

Rita: [after infected Cal vomits the fungus on her] So wrong!

Lacey Bickle: Would you like to have sex?

Rita: You mean with you or just in general?

Rita: Don't call me puta, cabron!

Rita: How are you getting along with Kittredge?

Curly Mather: I can take him or leave him alone. If given the chance, I'd leave him alone.

Reb Kittredge: Are you in love with Curly?

Rita: He wants to marry me.

Reb Kittredge: That's not what I asked you.

Rita: I don't know why that would interest you.

Reb Kittredge: I don't want to stake my claim on range that's already taken up.

[After Reb's horse is shot, he hitches a ride on a stagecoach with a pretty, but aloof, passenger]

Reb Kittredge: I ran into a little trouble this morning. I had to leave my horse back up the trail.

Rita: If I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I'd say you still had him with you.

Rita: [to Sherry] I don't know whether you joined us or we joined you, but it's good to be together.

Rita: You know, I think what I like least about you is you're so sure of yourself.

Dan Mitchell: When a man rides down the middle of Texas Street, confidence is all he's got.

Dan Mitchell: [as he rides by her with the mostly bearded homesteaders] Hello Rita.

Rita: You ought to grow a beard, too.

Dan Mitchell: When you wear a sun bonnet and apron, I'll grow a beard.

Rita: When I wear a sun bonnet and an apron, I'll grow a beard.

Rita: You're my sweet baby girl, I want to take care of you.

Rita: Don't you *ever* say no to me!

Rita's Cantina Friend: [on her efforts to seduce Stony] You're gonna have a tough time, Dearie. Those boys are closer than Siamese twins.

Rita: [very self-confidently] Oh, yeah? Well, take a look at the baby that's gonna perform the operation.

[last lines]

Rita: I suppose you will be leaving us now.

Charlie Trenton: Yeah, soon.

Rita: They tell me, United States is a beautiful country.

Charlie Trenton: Why don't you pay us a visit? I could show you around. Good bye!