Riddle Quotes in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

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Riddle Quotes:

  • Riddle: [angry] How in the hell do you lose a five hundred pound fish?

    [Melissa wants to say something]

    Riddle: What?

    Melissa: I'm sorry sir, I was just going to say, that it's not a fish, it's a mammal.

    Riddle: Thank you, Miss Jacques Cousteau.

  • Riddle: I don't give a good goddamn about that fish. Fillet it and fast food it if'ya want'to. All I give a damn about's winning the Super Bowl. My athletes have got to have their heads in the right place. Shit, Roger, you been in this business a long time. You know how superstitious these players are.

    [Roger hides his rabbit foot key chain]

    Riddle: I've got a quarterback who puts his socks on backwards. Has since high school. I've got a line backer who has not washed his jockey strap in two years because he thinks flies are lucky.

  • Riddle: [On Radio talking about a match race with Seabiscuit] It wouldn't be fair to us. It wouldn't be fair to them either. You wouldn't put Jack Dempsey in the ring with a middle-weight would you?

    Red Pollard: Middle-weight? I'll kill him. I'll knock his goddamn block off. He's chicken, that's what it is. I mean, middle-weight?

  • Sgt. Ward: Apples.

    Windy: What'd you say, Sergeant?

    Sgt. Ward: [surprised] Guess I said 'apples.'

    Windy: Why?

    Sgt. Ward: Just thinkin' of 'em.

    Windy: Oh.

    Riddle: What kind of apples, sergeant?

    Sgt. Ward: All kinds. Baldwnis, McIntosh, Reds, Pippins, Russets... I was thinkin' I'd like to be cuttin' one open, right now. And lickin' that juice off the knife.

    Riddle: Cut it out, willya, Sarge?

    [grinning]

    Riddle: Now ya got me thinking about something juicy.

Browse more character quotes from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

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