Rick Ford Quotes in Spy (2015)


Rick Ford Quotes:

  • Rick Ford: Nothing kills me. I'm immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.

  • Rick Ford: You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm.

    Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...

    Rick Ford: During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama.

    Susan Cooper: In black-face? That's not appropriate.

    Rick Ford: I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.

    Susan Cooper: Jesus, you're intense.

  • Susan Cooper: Where'd you get a suit?

    Rick Ford: I fucking made it, didn't I?

  • Rick Ford: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!

    Susan Cooper: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!

    Rick Ford: Well I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do: Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.

  • Rick Ford: You're going to ruin this mission.

    Susan Cooper: No, *you're* going to ruin this mission.

    Rick Ford: No, you are.

    Susan Cooper: No, you're going to!

    Rick Ford: You... times infinity!

  • [last lines]

    Susan Cooper: [wakes up next to Ford] Aaaaah!

    Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it!

    [hugs her]

    Susan Cooper: Ugh, God.

  • Rick Ford: Cooper, is this a fucking LAKE?

  • Susan Cooper: Get your hands off my boobs!

    Rick Ford: I'm saving you!

    Susan Cooper: You motherfucker, I'm gonna report you to HR!

  • Rick Ford: [holding onto Susan's legs, the two of them dangling from the landing skid of DeLuca's helicopter] I can't get a grip. Your pants are too slippery! You should've worn coarser pants!

    Susan Cooper: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't wear my fucking sandpaper pants!

  • Rick Ford: Oh, fuck my ass!

  • [Wakes up, sees Ford sleeping next to her and screams]

    Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it.

    Susan Cooper: Oh God!

  • Rick Ford: I told you to send me in there instead of Fine, and you didn't. And now Fine's *dead*. I'm going the fuck in.

    Elaine Crocker: You can't. We need someone to follow De Luca without being detected... And that will hopefully take us to Rayna, but it can't be any of you.

    Rick Ford: Here's what we do... I go into the Face/Off machine, get a whole new face. I turn up, they never know it's me.

    Elaine Crocker: Do you have quarters? Because it costs 50 cents.

    Rick Ford: What, I gotta pay?

    Elaine Crocker: *No*, because it doesn't exist

    Rick Ford: Yes, it does! I heard Cress and Wright talking about it in the shitter.

    [Points to Cress and Wright as they look down, hiding there laughter]

    Elaine Crocker: I'm sure they were pulling your leg.

    Rick Ford: You pair of fucking vaginas!

    [Cress and Wright burst out laughing]

    Elaine Crocker: Seriously? You've got to cut that out.

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