Richard Sumner Quotes in Desk Set (1957)

Bunny Watson: I don't smoke, I only drink champagne when I'm lucky enough to get it, my hair is naturally natural, I live alone... and so do you.

Richard Sumner: How do you know that?

Bunny Watson: Because you're wearing one brown sock and one black sock.

[Richard gives Bunny a personality test]

Richard Sumner: Now what is the first thing you notice in a person?

Bunny Watson: Whether the person is male or female.

Richard Sumner: [watching the computer result on "Corfu", which is mistaken as "curfew"] What the devil is this?

Bunny Watson: [also having a look] It's the poem, "Curfew Shall Not Ring Tonight." Isn't that nice?

Bunny Watson: [reciting] "Cromwell will not come till sunset, and her lips grew strangely white... as she breathed the husky whisper, curfew must not a-ring tonight."

Miss Warriner: [while Bunny goes on] Mr. Sumner, what can I do?

Richard Sumner: Nothing. You know you can't interrupt her...

[the computer]

Richard Sumner: ...in the middle of a sequence.

Miss Warriner: Yes, but, Mr. Sumner...

Richard Sumner: Quiet! Just listen.

Bunny Watson: "She had listened while the judges read, without a tear or sigh, at the ringing of the curfew, Basil Underwood must die."

Richard Sumner: Uh, how long does this go on?

Bunny Watson: That old poem has about 80 stanzas to it.

Richard Sumner: Where are we now?

Bunny Watson: "She has reached the topmost ladder. O'er her hangs the great dark bell, awful is the gloom beneath her like the pathway down to hell. Lo, the ponderous tongue is swinging. 'Tis the hour of curfew now, and the sight has chilled her bosom, stopped her breath and paled her brow."

[telephone rings]

Bunny Watson: "Shall she let it ring? No, never! Flash her eyes with sudden light, as she springs and grasps it firmly...

[answers the phone]

Bunny Watson: ...curfew shall not ring tonight!"

[audible click]

Bunny Watson: They hung up. And I know another one! "Out she swung, far out, the city seemed a speck of light..."

Bunny Watson: Just for kicks. You don't have to answer it if you don't want to. I mean, don't dwell on the question, but I warn you there's a trick in it: If six Chinamen get off a train at Las Vegas, and two of them are found floating face down in a goldfish bowl, and the only thing they can find to identify them are two telephone numbers - one, Plaza Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh, and the other, Columbus Oh-1492 - what time did the train get to Palm Springs?

Richard Sumner: Nine o'clock.

Bunny Watson: Now, would you mind telling me how you happened to get that?

Richard Sumner: Well, there are eleven letters in Palm Springs. You take away two Chinamen, that leaves nine.

Bunny Watson: You're a sketch, Mr. Sumner.

Richard Sumner: You're not so bad yourself.

Mr. Azae: You don't care whether you impress people or not, do you?

Richard Sumner: You wait until you get my bill. You'll be impressed.

[Sumner answers the phone while the girls are at a Christmas party]

Richard Sumner: Hello? Santa Claus's reindeer? Uh, why yes I can... let's see, there's Dopey, Sneezy, Grouchy, Happy, Sleepy, uh Rudolph, and Blitzen! You're welcome!

Richard Sumner: Tough question?

Bunny Watson: No... (chewing)... Tough roast beef.

Richard Sumner: You were late this morning.

Bunny Watson: I know, but it's all right - I brought a note from my mother.

Richard Sumner: That's correct!

Bunny Watson: Yes, I know.

Mike Cutler: [to Richard Sumner] I supposed I should have called first?

Richard Sumner: Yes, do that next time.

Richard Sumner: I'll bet you write beautiful letters.