Ria Quotes in Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Ria: [to Chev] You need me like Whitney Houston dude!

Ria: [to Chev] You are my shiny lunch box.

Ria: [to Triad, about Chev] This dude my Kevin Costner! He going to beat you off!

Cypress Triad Hood #1: What?

Chev Chelios: Where's Johnny Vang?

Cypress Triad Hood #1: You looking to get your ass killed dawg?

Ria: You ask for it, he's gonna tap your ass!

Chev Chelios: Wrong expression.

Ria: What the fuck? I'm clean like baby!

Chev Chelios: What's that? Fucking Cunt-a-nese?

Ria: No fucky sucky for you asshole!

Ria: You want sticky me?

[starts humping Chev]

Ria: [Ria discovers Chev and Eve embracing in the Strip Club] Who the fuck crack bitch?... Take your slutty paws off my handsome!

Graham: [on the phone] Mom, I can't talk to you right now, okay? I'm having sex with a white woman.

[hangs up, and Ria gets out of bed]

Graham: OK, where were we?

Ria: I was white, and you were about to jerk off in the shower.

Graham: Oh, shit. Come on. I would have said you were Mexican, but I don't think it would have pissed her off as much.

Ria: Why do you keep everybody a certain distance, huh? What, you start to feel something and panic?

Graham: Come on, Maria. You're just pissed 'cause I answered the phone.

Ria: That's just where I begin to get pissed. I mean, really, what kind of man speaks to his mother that way, huh?

Graham: Oh, this is about my mother. What do you know about my mother?

Ria: If I was your father, I'd kick your fucking ass.

Graham: OK, I was raised badly. Why don't you take your clothes off, get back into bed, and teach me a lesson?

Ria: You want a lesson? I'll give you a lesson. How 'bout a geography lesson? My father's from Puerto Rico. My mother's from El Salvador. Neither one of those is Mexico.

Graham: Ah. Well then I guess the big mystery is, who gathered all those remarkably different cultures together and taught them all how to park their cars on their lawns?

Ria: Graham, I think we got rear ended. I think we spun around twice, and somewhere in there, one of us lost our frame of reference. And I'm going to look for it.

Motorcycle Cop: Calm down, ma'am.

Kim Lee: I am calm.

Motorcycle Cop: I need to see your registration and insurance.

Kim Lee: Why? Not my fault! It's her fault! She do this!

Ria: [approaching] My fault?

Motorcycle Cop: Ma'am, you really need to wait in your vehicle.

Ria: [appraoching] My fault?

Kim Lee: Stop in the middle of street! Mexicans! No know how to drive! She blake too fast!

Ria: I "blake" too fast? I "blake" too fast? I'm sorry, you no see my "blake lights"?

Motorcycle Cop: [to Ria] Ma'am...

Ria: [to Kim Lee] See, I stop when I see long line of cars stop in front of me. Maybe you see over steering wheel, you "blake" too.

Motorcycle Cop: [to Ria] Ma'am...

Ria: Officer, can you please write down in your report how shocked I am to be hit by an Asian driver?

Graham: That is a nice gun.

Ria: Well, the car is registered to a Cindy Bradley. And that's not Cindy. That is a William Lewis.

[hands him a wallet]

Ria: Found under the front seat. Hollywood Division.

Graham: Looks like Detective Conklin shot himself the wrong nigga.

Ria: We didn't need the gold to be happy.