Reynolds Quotes in Slaughter's Big Rip-Off (1973)

Crowder: [Reynolds is mad because Crowder has let Slaughter go] Look, I don't give a damn what you do, but you remember this... As long as I'm sitting behind that desk, I GIVE THE ORDERS!... The minute you can't take it, you're out!... Understand?

Reynolds: Understand... You got the desk.

Reynolds: [Reynolds is giving Slaughter a police escort to the airport] By the way, where are you headed?

Slaughter: Vegas.

Reynolds: Vegas... That's too close.

Crowder: [after Slaughter leaves] As long as I'm running the department, I call the shots!

Reynolds: When are you gonna start running it?... There's sharks out there, HE'S BLOOD ON THE WATER!

School Teacher: [In the typical deep slow voice acting of Ben Stein] Let's move on to case study #12: Your company is in dire straits. Sales are down 50% due to stiff price competition. Dividends are falling. Stockholders are demanding that you step down as chariman of the board. Now, here's your problem: How do you rally the board of directors to your side AND stave off impending bankruptcy...? Reynolds?

Reynolds: [who has been reading a newspaper] I'll have my secretary get back to you on that one.

School Teacher: See me after class, Reynolds. Ellsworth, how would you get the board on your side?

Ellsworth: [who has been playing miniature golf] Bribe someone.

School Teacher: [sighs] Sit down, Ellsworth. Reginald, what would you do?

Reginald: [who is being fitted by a tailor] What would I do? Simple. I'd float a rumor that we're the object of a takeover bid. And as soon as our stock went up, I'd sell.

School Teacher: That's not only unethical, Reginald, it's illegal.

Reginald: I'm only 12. I can't be held legally responsible.

School Teacher: Hmm, good point.

[Richie and his private-schoolmates are on break from their fencing class]

Reynolds: Capital appreciation is all well and good, but not without a sound growth strategy.

Ellsworth: Well, I've only got one word to say to you: pork bellies.

Richie Rich: ...I'm wondering if you guys can come over this weekend and hang out with me. Like normal kids do.

Reynolds: *Normal* kids? You're really acting weird, Richie. Anyway, no can do. I promised my dad I'd go with him for a hostile takeover in Tokyo.

Richie Rich: Et tu, Ellsworth?

Ellsworth: [shrugs] Trustees' meeting. Sorry.

Walt Radak: [to Steve] In fifteen minutes they're going to throw the switch on Al, and you're going with him... both of you at the same time. It's not very much to do for my own brother, but it's something. It's all I can do now, I guess. Guess Al's already had his last dinner. You might as well have yours too.

Walt Radak: [to Reynolds] Get the meal ready.

Reynolds: [after looking through the refrigerator] Nothing here but milk and bread and some tired meat.

Walt Radak: [to Reynolds] Make some sandwiches.

Walt Radak: [to Steve] I'm sorry I can't give you a choice of food, Steve, but it won't make much difference. You're not gong to live long enough to get any nourishment out of it. You only get a good meal when the state pays for it. Isn't that right, Steve?

Elizabeth: Thank you, sir.

Reynolds: Thank *you*, miss.

Elizabeth: Why, I didn't do anything!

[Elizabeth gestures at Reynolds to crouch]

Reynolds: [still standing] What is it, Miss?

Elizabeth: Couldn't you come down here so I can talk to you?

Elizabeth: I wish you wouldn't bow so much.

Reynolds: I'm sorry, miss.

[bows]

Elizabeth: There you go again. You make my back ache.

Reynolds: My word, miss. You *are* a package.

Det. Sgt. James Quinlan: And had you known the quote, you'd have said to him, as Burke said when questioned on the French Revolution in 1790, "Patience will achieve more than force."

Reynolds: Who the fuck are you?

Det. Sgt. James Quinlan: I'm a two-bit philosopher. That's who I am.